\t\t\t\tlast night i was imagining moving in with this girl, tonight i am back where i was when i called it off a few months ago: i am not up to her standards, i never will be, and no amount of love or happiness that i try to bring into her life will quench her insatiable appetite for sadness and dismay. at times like these i am worse than useless, and it brings me down to zero, which isn’t hard to do, but it’s a dismal and grating place to have zero opportunity for even fake happiness. i know this pattern well. i grew up with a depressed woman who was (almost said “is”) fully incapable of happiness and even love. it is not so much that i get frustrated or embarrassed by trying to bring happiness to this situation, it is simply that i can not. nobody can. i don’t have a sufficient quantity of money, and i lack the charm and the wardrobe to make this woman happy. happiness requires funding, money, money money money money. that defines happiness. money funds happiness. happiness requires a security deposit, a weekly allowance, and more money than exists in the global economy.<\/p>\n
…..<\/p>\n
otherwise i had on OK weekend. took some pictures, did some web shit, slept too late and shat too much.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
last night i was imagining moving in with this girl, tonight i am back where i was when i called it off a few months ago: i am not up to her standards, i never will be, and no amount of love or happiness that i try to bring into her life will quench her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2023","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-text","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paumAn-wD","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2023","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2023"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2023\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2023"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2023"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2023"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}