{"id":214,"date":"2005-02-20T07:05:42","date_gmt":"2005-02-20T02:05:42","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/?p=214"},"modified":"2005-02-20T07:05:42","modified_gmt":"2005-02-20T02:05:42","slug":"biker-dude","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/2005\/02\/20\/biker-dude.html","title":{"rendered":"Biker Dude"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n
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I met biker dude last night. 50 or so years old. Zephyrhills cab driver now working at a bike shop in Manhattan, he knew the crackhouses of that small Florida town, he knew all the cracklords there, he knew the 3 or 4 houses they occupied.<\/p>\n

In one hour of conversation he never asked a single question about me, but I learned maybe a little too much about him. He referred to his cock several times, saying he wished he was a younger man because he was “suitably endowed to make a lot of money as a porn star.”<\/p>\n

Several other references to his cock.<\/p>\n

Biker dude talked about his cock like something passing by on the television. And I gotta tell you, the only groups of people I have ever known to talk about their cocks like biker dude were comedians and computer programmers. Old school pre-Internet computer programmers. I used to sit and hear these guys describe themselves as “THE FUCKIN’ ENERGIZER BUNNY, MAN!” and I would get sudden headaches.<\/p>\n

Same headache as last night, when biker dude whipped his cock into the conversation. I cradled my top right temple in all my fingers minus the pinky. I studied his face and the possible nuance of his words for something to change the conversation away from his cock. I studied the faces and asses and breasts of the girls sitting behind him, looking for some way out of this conversation.<\/p>\n

Biker dude lives in a room in Corona, has an ex-wife in Zephyrhills, wears a Buccaneers cap and knows every Bucs quarterback from Steve Spurrier to Brad Johnson (Like me, he lost interest in the Bucs after the Super Bowl win. I tried to bond over this speck of common ground, tried to talk about that instead of his goddam cock).<\/p>\n

Biker dude is laying low after getting a disorderly conduct in Manhattan a few weeks ago.<\/p>\n

I got up to leave and he said “Tell you the truth, Mark, you’re pretty goddam depressing.”<\/p>\n

I said “Yeah, and chicks love this shit.”<\/p>\n

No I didn’t.<\/p>\n

I said “Welcome to my world!”<\/p>\n

No I didn’t.<\/p>\n

I agreed with him. Emphatically, with as much emphasis as “the most depressing motherfucker in the world” could muster.<\/p>\n

That’s what I did.<\/p>\n

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I met biker dude last night. 50 or so years old. Zephyrhills cab driver now working at a bike shop in Manhattan, he knew the crackhouses of that small Florida town, he knew all the cracklords there, he knew the 3 or 4 houses they occupied. In one hour of conversation he never asked a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-214","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-181-2","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paumAn-3s","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=214"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/214\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=214"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=214"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=214"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}