\t\t\t\ti got through most of my taxes today. receipts everywhere. a real mess, but a well-organized mess. i am of the camp that says a messy desk is a sign of an organized mind, because the items do not need to be organized to make sense. the scatterbrain mind is more likely to have the pristine desk. or something like that. probably all hooey.<\/p>\n
i made more money than i thought last year. that probably will not happen again this year. i expect to make less this year. that’s fine by me. i might pick up some kind of job, though, not for the money but for the adventure. i’ve always had an interest in security, being a security guard at some place like a museum or corporate office building. i can’t stand a lot of the security personnel i encounter these days, with their 9\/11-appointed sense of righteousness. on the other hand most of those folks don’t bother me at all.<\/p>\n
there is one trend i’ve noticed and which i don’t like. it’s bouncers at beer halls and busy clubs using electronic devices to record and verify information from the ID cards of customers. that is an identity-theft disaster waiting to happen somewhere, some way.<\/p>\n
i’d like to just make $10,000 doing something moderately interesting, so i can turn that money into a new piano. i can find a way to make that happen doing what i do now, but i’m getting sick and tired of doing what i do now. 10 years of this. 10,000 years!<\/p>\n
tomorrow i explore photo-selling outlets. i’ve known of many of them for some time now but i get dismayed by the quality of the other artists’ work. i don’t mean to be unkind, but it seems like a lot of people go out and take pictures and just shovel them up to these sights that can turn the images into posters or t-shirts or coffee cups and see if they can make a few bucks. nothing is wrong with turning a hobby into making a few bucks (nothing is wrong with coffee cups, either) but when so much of the content on the shared space looks half-assed then it might make me look the same. and i want to look whole-assed. so it’s time to find a whole-assed photo reseller service.<\/p>\n
and the posters. gotta work on the posters. gotta turn those old magazine covers into posters and post cards and decks of playing cards and coffee cups and t-shirts and underpants and doormats and postage stamps.<\/p>\n
my livelihood is a great big hobby, a great big arts and crafts project. i should be writing, shouldn’t i? that is where i feel most in control of things, that is the ecosystem of intricacies where i can most actively evolve ideas. the same is true of composing music. those are the realms where i feel most in control. but, of course, there’s no money in either of those things, really. i mean, i may have some advantages over web writers because of my link rank and SEO skillzzzzz, but writing for the free WWW still doesn’t pay unless you sell out to advertisers. and i don’t mind doing that. if it worked for Paul Harvey it could work for me. except for the fact that i can not seem to write a single goddam sentence any more. this .MOBI outlet is good for a day’s-end exhaust, and it’s places like here where i feel i *could* write to the stars. but in more structured contexts i am wholly unreliable.<\/p>\n
…..<\/p>\n
i shot more film today. black and white? why? oh, i know why. because the film is supposed to expire in May. might as well burn through it without letting it rot. i looked for stuff that needed no color today. a wall on 21st Street, and a meandering crack in the pavement at a public school, among other photographic triumphs.<\/p>\n
i’ve received little constructive criticism from photography professionals, but the 2 bits of advice i remembered today were: do more black and white, and do more people. the first tip came from a guy who i hired to print some of my digital images in c. 2000. the other came from a guy i met at a bar who was a photo editor at an NYC newspaper. he said my stuff was good, but suggested i try and shoot more pictures of human beings. i agree, in a way, that my pictures have a mood of solitude about them (reflecting my lonesome soul). but random people, well, you got licensing and stuff to deal with, depending on the context, and i don’t really like to imagine embarrassing someone with a candid shot in a public space.<\/p>\n
i was thinking i should learn to paint. it can’t be that hard, can it, to take photographs and paint on top of them? i know that’s commonly done, and photographs end up as something like a stencil or a paint-by-numbers kind of starter space. a few painters have contacted me asking if they could use some of my photos in that manner.<\/p>\n
then again, there are probably dozens of Photoshop filters that automate painting.<\/p>\n
…..<\/p>\n
i was just remembering a woman i saw for a while. she was 25 and divorced, and she frequently asked me why i spent my time with her, the “evil divorcee.”<\/p>\n
but what i was just remembering wasn’t that (or the pounding sex or the odd dilemma of discovering if she would perform fellatio) but the way she described her financial relationship with her ex-husband. she said that at tax time the sparks flew and the rage blasted forth, and that any happiness of yore was wrenched asunder by the two of them sitting at the kitchen table doing their combined taxes.<\/p>\n
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