A small plague of rock concerts briefly invaded boxes of cereal produced at a Long Island manufacturing facility last week. Supervisors at the Jolly Bootstrap plant in Glen Cove briefly suspended production of their signature \u201cPolyps Pops\u201d cereal after Quality Analysts discovered Joan Jett and the Blackhearts performing \u201cI Love Rock & Roll\u201d in an otherwise empty box. Subsequent boxes of \u201cPolyps Pops\u201d, also devoid of cereal, were found to contain a pickup band comprising all 45 U.S. presidents; an unidentified group of high school musicians singing Hank Williams\u2019 \u201cJambalaya\u201d; and several dozen classical pianists performing an arrangement of Rossini\u2019s \u201cWilliam Tell Overture\u201d.<\/p>\n
Kimberly Poundstone, supervisor on duty at the time of the bands\u2019 discovery, praised the work of the Jolly Bootstrap\u2019s line workers and analysts. \u201cThe quick action of our workers stopped these rock concerts from increasing in number, prevented them from reaching grocery store shelves, and from occupying kitchen cabinets and pantries across the country.\u201d<\/p>\n
When asked to produce an example of a rock concert in a cereal box Ms. Poundstone deferred to Samuel Driggs, a Glen Cove resident with no known connection to the Jolly Bootstrap company. Mr. Driggs, when questioned, was found dismembered and petrified at the base of a tree in a nearby park.<\/p>\n