She mentioned it twice, both times driving the car whilst circambcombanducantortadillaybewildered, saying it was always\/only a woman’s right, not any man’s, a sentiment with which I never disagreed, on instinct, before I even knew what abortion was.<\/p>\n
She clenched and pounded her fists to the Dodge Diplomat steering wheel, telling me “I would have let you go early if I could have”, pounding the wheel with her right hand, driving me to death, like (almost) all the women in my future life.<\/p>\n
Mother hated being a Mother.<\/p>\n
In 1967 she thought she was too old to have me. 35 was, in the 1960s, considered potentially too old for childbirth.<\/p>\n
She would have let me go early if she had financial resources beyond the coathanger her mother used to let go early my potential cousin, flushed down a Nebraska motel toilet.<\/p>\n
Between that and my father being gay my failed but persistent existence opens an existential quagmire into which I have never failed to plunge.<\/p>\n
LIFE IS ACTUALLY A LOT OF FUN.<\/p>\n
Gad zooks for being alive!<\/p>\n\n