{"id":270,"date":"2004-01-17T01:02:39","date_gmt":"2004-01-16T20:02:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/?p=270"},"modified":"2019-05-17T10:55:32","modified_gmt":"2019-05-17T14:55:32","slug":"my-afternoon-in-headlines","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/2004\/01\/17\/my-afternoon-in-headlines.html","title":{"rendered":"My Afternoon In Headlines"},"content":{"rendered":"

\t\t\t\t<\/p>\n

\n
\n
\n

Here is the story of my afternoon, in headlines.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Mark Thomas sees vehicle approaching, elects not to cross street<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT reaches into coat pocket, forgets why<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing NOW HIRING flyer, MT considers jobs in food service<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Minding own business, MT suddenly surrounded by Koreans leaving church<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Hearing police sirens, MT fears arrest for no reason<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At Queens diner, MT says yes to free coffee refill, not intending to drink it<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT takes picture of Empire State Building, then realizes it's cliché<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Impossible: MT thinks he sees miles-away Hell Gate Bridge from Hunters Point Av. at 36th St.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT, at busy intersection, wonders if strangers appreciate his new haircut<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT sees billboard for new movie, thinks \"No one is named Polly\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT crosses Queens Blvd, survives<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Waiting to cross street, MT can not remember location of Inari<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT prepares story in case security guard at electronics store thinks he's stealing his own cell phone<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Walgreens: Unable to find desired product, MT just buys toilet paper<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT sees familiar woman, thinks \"If that's Jennifer she must have gained about 200 pounds!\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Contemplating dinner, MT can't remember contents of freezer<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing words \"BREAK FLUID,\" MT thinks \"FRAKE BLUID\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT defends decision to look both ways before crossing 1 way street<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

At Eckerd Drugs, MT wonders \"Where the hell did they put the jelly beans this time?\"<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

Seeing long, long lines at grocery store, MT mumbles \"fuck this\" and leaves<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

MT, at convenience store, wonders what cashier just said<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n<\/h1>\n

<\/code><\/p>\n<\/dl>\n<\/dd>\n<\/dt>\n

 <\/p>\n

<\/font><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here is the story of my afternoon, in headlines. Mark Thomas sees vehicle approaching, elects not to cross street   MT reaches into coat pocket, forgets why   Seeing NOW HIRING flyer, MT considers jobs in food service   Minding own business, MT suddenly surrounded by Koreans leaving church   Hearing police sirens, MT fears […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[2],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-270","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-181-2","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paumAn-4m","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=270"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":23946,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/270\/revisions\/23946"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=270"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=270"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=270"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}