{"id":31531,"date":"2022-03-05T20:16:21","date_gmt":"2022-03-05T20:16:21","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/?p=31531"},"modified":"2022-03-09T08:43:40","modified_gmt":"2022-03-09T12:43:40","slug":"nothing-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/2022\/03\/05\/nothing-3.html","title":{"rendered":"Nothing"},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Nothing to say but when has that stopped me from saying it… I don’t know. Tomorrow is a day off for me. Still unwilling to consecrate this place with the glory of my fecality, even though I probably should, for innards’ sake.<\/p>\n

I read about coffee and its impact on people pooping. Not much research but enough to suggest that the connection between drinking coffee and the urge to poop is psychological. “Coffee is a complicated substance” was a line to remember from this article.<\/p>\n

It has to be brain chemistry being piqued by the caffeine. Liquid cannot travel through the body fast enough for it to be physiological.<\/p>\n

But I find if I drink coffee at home the urge is unstoppable. I must poop.<\/p>\n

But I drink it here or anywhere else and I can contain it. Maybe it’s a comfort zone thing.<\/p>\n

The “complicated substance” line struck a chord because I remember reading the same thing about semen. “Semen is a complicated substance.” Or maybe they said “complex.” Either way it was a strange way to bring semen and coffee into the same discussion.<\/p>\n

I’d never heard anyone say that swallowing a load of jizz made them want to poop.<\/p>\n

To freeze and store semen for later use you need specialized freezers and storage gear. I knew someone who donated a lot of sperm when he was in college. He knew all about semen storage. I’ve forgotten the details, but I remember how impressed I was by his zeal for and deep knowledge of these things.<\/p>\n

Being in the presence of someone who knows their shit is always impressive, however mundane or otherwise uninteresting the subject matter. At a Starbucks once I felt I had to ask if I could use my\u00a0 Starbucks frequent customer card. This is because I was once told I could not use the card at a certain location.<\/p>\n

I now know, thanks to a knowledgeable Starbucks worker, that I had attempted to use the card at a place that said “WE PROUDLY SERVE STARBUCKS BRAND COFFEE.” It would have been an independently owned shop that licensed Starbucks brewing techniques and machines.<\/p>\n

But what really impressed me was how the guy at first said “What probably happened…” but then he corrected himself, saying “I’m certain this is what it was. Then he explained it was a non-Starbucks entity that licensed use of Starbucks’ name and equipment to brew genuine Starbucks coffee. That’s why I could not use the Starbucks membership card there.<\/p>\n

He knew his shit. I respected that.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Nothing to say but when has that stopped me from saying it… I don’t know. Tomorrow is a day off for me. Still unwilling to consecrate this place with the glory of my fecality, even though I probably should, for innards’ sake. I read about coffee and its impact on people pooping. Not much research […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-31531","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-text","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paumAn-8cz","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31531","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=31531"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31531\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":31559,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/31531\/revisions\/31559"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=31531"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=31531"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=31531"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}