{"id":33678,"date":"2022-12-17T18:00:32","date_gmt":"2022-12-17T18:00:32","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/?p=33678"},"modified":"2022-12-17T14:03:41","modified_gmt":"2022-12-17T18:03:41","slug":"tomomrrow-i-walk","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/2022\/12\/17\/tomomrrow-i-walk.html","title":{"rendered":"Tomomrrow I Walk"},"content":{"rendered":"
Tomorrow will be a walk day, I think. I have not done one of those lately. I do long subway and bus journeys, and a good amount of walking usually accompanies that. But I haven\u2019t done a bridge walk in months, since cancelling the 181. I haven\u2019t done a 181 run because the 181 is no more. Perhaps it has taken a new owner, or if not maybe I could reclaim it. But I don\u2019t want it back. Don\u2019t need it. I just wonder what interesting deliveries might arrive for the current\/future owner.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But tomorrow I walk. I was just out walking moments ago. A mild weather day after some rude rain. Tomorrow looks similar. Mild. Cold but calm, like my heart. Having worked down here for almost a year I find I\u2019ve made no real connection or affiliation with the neighborhood. It is a lot of tourists, college students, and unbelievably wealthy tripping over the homeless and derelict. With the wealthy I will likely never have any affiliation. I am already priced out at the $10 beers at the bars around here, and do not feel like my class in society earns me the privilege of breathing their air.<\/p>\n

There are a couple of hideaway spots I keep meaning to look into. A couple of chapels and some art installations. But mostly I just work. I like the work. I like being busy. But I\u2019m getting nonchalant about things. I don\u2019t care anymore. I keep my eye on the prize of making it a full year at this job and basking in the bountiful privileges and rewards that come with arriving at that milestone. Yeah\u2026 I lie. We all lie. The privileges of making it one year here are not magnificent. I arrive each day with the belief that\u00a0 I might not make it to the end of the shift, and I clock out every day feeling it could be the last time I do so.\u00a0<\/p>\n

But for this much ambivalence the conflict is that I love the job. I lose interest but I love what I do, what we<\/em> do here. I feel like I am part of something, although this is paradoxically a lonely feeling place to be. Everybody is sequestered into columns of communication, conversations are very brief, and I\u2019m yet to find anyone with whom I feel any kind of spark.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Some of the women are beautiful, though. When I stared here I was in the midst of a pretty robust series of monogamous encounters\/dalliances. It felt I could do no wrong, the women just came to me, and when they didn\u2019t my pursuits were minimal.\u00a0<\/p>\n

Enter this workplace and I got nothin\u2019. One woman makes we weak in the gut any time I hear her voice. She just sounds so sweet and gentle, though she gives off a more extroverted persona. Another woman I can hardly look away from, such beautiful hair that reminds me of an ex\u2019s. Because of my hair-locked eyes I move my workplace to other locations where she is out of view. There are three or four women here like that. I must look away.<\/p>\n

Tomorrow I walk.\u00a0<\/p>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tomorrow will be a walk day, I think. I have not done one of those lately. I do long subway and bus journeys, and a good amount of walking usually accompanies that. But I haven\u2019t done a bridge walk in months, since cancelling the 181. I haven\u2019t done a 181 run because the 181 is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-33678","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-text","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paumAn-8Lc","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33678","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=33678"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/33678\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=33678"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=33678"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=33678"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}