{"id":47133,"date":"2025-06-15T06:58:44","date_gmt":"2025-06-15T10:58:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/2025\/06\/15\/serene-2.html"},"modified":"2025-06-15T06:58:44","modified_gmt":"2025-06-15T10:58:44","slug":"serene-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/2025\/06\/15\/serene-2.html","title":{"rendered":"Serene"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

The meds have me feeling serene, or close to it. How long that lasts is nobody’s guess but anybody’s target. I was reading the FB musings of someone I used to know and hang out with. He’s moved away but comes back to NYC once in a while. I usually wince a little at his public musings, which make his life look like a dream come true, living the large life, happy as one man can be. Any time I see him in person the reality is revealed. He’s deep in debt, there’s trouble with the wife, he only moves around so much because he can’t hold a job anywhere, and while we are not buddies and never really were he trusts me enough to admit that online life is a big fat charade. I tend to think most online lives are like that, up to a point. I mean, I don’t want anyone thinking my life is perfect, or glamorous. Your life is probably better than mine depending on your criteria for success and stability. I don’t want anybody thinking I’m anything I’m not. I’m a depressive who drinks but I don’t consider myself an alcoholic. It’s just a habit. I’ve quit many times and it’s no big deal, but it also changes nothing. I feel no different dry versus liquored. In a past abusive relationship I nearly drank myself to death. I believe I was trying to kill myself to get out of that situation. But that’s long past, and even the thought of how much I used to consume in those days makes me cringe.\u00a0 <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Certain art on the subway can make me feel like I’m in a Kindergarten classroom, as seen this AM on the R:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The meds have me feeling serene, or close to it. How long that lasts is nobody’s guess but anybody’s target. I was reading the FB musings of someone I used to know and hang out with. He’s moved away but comes back to NYC once in a while. I usually wince a little at his […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":47132,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-text","et-has-post-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/06\/20250615_062932-scaled.jpg?fit=2560%2C1441&ssl=1","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paumAn-cgd","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47133"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47133\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/47132"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}