At this job, from before it even began, I have been influenced, perhaps to my detriment, by my attitudes about rank. I am the lowest. I am the shitspittle that licks his own shit off the surface of the work we do. My experience in life and limb and limbo and lore areof no use here. Creative thinking? Pffft, it’s the most over-rated, un-needed quality in almost any line of work. People like to say it is some kind of magical musk but the reality is that most creative thinking is pretty bad, pretty off-target, and misses the mark completely. Few among us have patience to be subjected to or exposed to the entire creative process, which farms through an endless series of bad or neutral ideas before arriving at the gold. But that’s not even relevant here. I cannot shake the fact that I am the bottom, the dregs, the shitspackle on the bathroom walls. And guess what? I’m fine with that. I’m not decrying the impugning of my dignity or the debasement of my human existence. I like it. This is, perhaps, another symptom of my ability to succumb to abusive relationships. This job is, in fact, a perfect match, as if miraculously made through some kind of perverse corporate dating app. We are said to have certain protections against being fired without reason but I have never believed that. Every day I step through the front doors of this place I am 80% certain my ID card will have been disabled and I will be called to “the 16th floor” for termination and exile. I remember some months ago a meeting showed up on my calendar. No agenda. Nonames of other attendees. Just “Meeting. 1:30.” I was certain this was it, and I was resigned to it. Only, it was not on the 16th floor, as the lore was known for firings to occur. It turned out I was not being fired but instead offereed a “compressed schedule” of 4 days a week instead of 5. I took it, and never spoke to whoever those people were in that room again. That’s another aspect of this place. I don’t know who anybody is. I remember being here over a year before hearing there was “Senior Manager” overseeing all the other managers. There are more managers here than I even know or care to know, but the “SENIOR” manager remains a mystery to me, leaving me to question if I ever did anything shitspittly in their presence. Not knowing who is sitting right next to you is a common condition here. My immediate boss, a 16-year veteran, sits near people who are in offices with doors that close (oo-la-la) and she has no idea who those people are or what they do. Once in a while someone emerges from a room labeled “INTERFACE” and asks around for the name of someone no one has ever heard of. Does he ever find that person? Do they even exist? If found, did he take them to the 16th floor for ritual abuse and excommunication? I don’t know who anybody here is, and for the most part I’m fine with that. Origially one of my goals here was to make friends but I gave up on that notion long ago. I speak when spoken to. I am the lowest of the low and my input and knowledge are meaningless.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Speaking of nothing, the acronym “CSW” has come up repeatedly in recent weeks. Someone I know said her company was doing something for “Customer Service Week” and she shorthands it in emails as “CSW.” I got an email from another friend who is a Clinical Social Worker. She would be another CSW but she’s special for being “Licensed.” A LCSW. And around this work place there is a software people use called “CSW”. In that case I don’t even know what those letters stand for but it’s all a bit pesky to me because those letters CSW mean nothing else to me than “Cock Sucking Whore,” and it’s the nickname I had for a woman I knew for many years who lived, breathed and practically ate cock any time, anywhere, any way you wanted it. She got very worked up when I called her “my cock sucking whore” and said she always smiled when I referred to her as my “CSW” in emails. So it was not Customer Service Week at that company. It was Cock Sucking Whore week. And my friend is no Clinical Social Worker. She is a LICENSED<\/em> Cock Sucking Whore. And that CSW software for which I do not know its purpose is obviously being used to manage all the Cock Sucking Whores in this building. Some day I will grow up but that day is not on the schedule at this time. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" At this job, from before it even began, I have been influenced, perhaps to my detriment, by my attitudes about rank. I am the lowest. I am the shitspittle that licks his own shit off the surface of the work we do. My experience in life and limb and limbo and lore areof no use […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-47497","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-text","et-doesnt-have-format-content","et_post_format-et-post-format-standard"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paumAn-cm5","jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47497","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=47497"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/47497\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=47497"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=47497"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wsbj.com\/sorabji\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=47497"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}