got a flu shot, or as i kept calling it, a shu flot. this year the shots include h1n1 vaccination, and i am generally skeptical of these type of things, these blanket all-humanity-must-conform events whose grandiosenness makes their integrity slightly suspect , but i figured what the fuck, i‘ve only gotten a flu shot once in my adult life and that was at corporate when everyone was doing it. i am a healthy individual by virtually any estimate, and i don‘t think i‘ve ever gotten a flu as an adult, just a few colds and of course the scurvy and the rickets and the consumption and the gout and the accidental decapitations and severing of limbs and the occasional extra fingers sprouting out of random parts of my body. but no flu. just the occasional sniffle, which is a side effect of the butt transplant i had last week.

…..

40 minutes later and i just shared intimate sexual secrets and longings with a friend, at the bar, talking shit, chomping shit, carrying on like 20-nothings in our 40s. i confessed to my hunger for cunnilingus and he respected my interest but declared unequivocably that he only did it as a chore. are most men liike that? i do not know, but i hear it‘s true, especially among men going down on “promiscuous“ women who have multiple partners in a week or month. fair enough, plunging your face and tongue into the same place that held your bar buddies‘ cocks and come is not very appetizing. fair enough. i still do it, though, and my mouth waters thinking about it. i look differently at bottles of wine with the little corks sticking out of them when i think about cunnilingus. it makes me hungry. my friend asks if it makes my cock hard and i‘m like, fuck yeah, and he‘s like, duh, it does nothing for me. then the waxing debate ensued.

this flu shot thing is making me feel a little drowsy, or maybe that is due to the long long walk i made from home to 9th avenue and 57th street in manhattan and back, probably 12-13 miles with circuitous routes included. that is a lot of walking but a beautiful day for it. manhattan was an interesting island today. protests and people shouting through megaphones in chinese and other languages, a long line of chinese protestors on park avenue, all wearing red and furling signs entirely in non-english.

helicoptors overhead.
police escorts and entourages of delivery trucks.
flu shots.

i remember a therapist i saw in 1995 listening to me talk about cunnilingus and saying “you could make a lot of women happy“ and making me ill at ease with the way she was looking at me. she had earlier requested that i cry more, that i cry at all, under her watch.