Category: Text

Signals From the Freezer

Sometimes I hear signals. See them, at least. I hear nothing now but whirring from the freezer behind me. I grew up in a freezer. It was on the top rack, with ice cube trays and three other children, where I learned to...

Read More

at the piano

typing this at the piano, with no spell check, because i am such a manly man in that respect. 10:39pm as i start. an ongoing epic correspondence with the author of a sheet music reading program has me ready to throw in the...

Read More

November 8, 2021 7:39am

Dead walked among me. So it felt, yesterday, every day. Daylight. Sleepness. Eyes of strangers. A woman with no ass crossed 21st Street, eastward, momentarily turning around for no obvious reason. Her lipsticked mouth opened....

Read More

Myself thinking

Saturday, all at once, I downed 60mg of Nifedipine and 2½mg of Lorazepam. This was my first intake of either drug in probably three months. I had felt strung out, excitable, directionless. I felt like walking the day away, as I...

Read More

100% Full Again

Thought I might have something to say this day, this gift of a day, after waking at 5am. But no. Instead I got to deal with the monotonous, tiresome chore of cleaning up log files and freeing space on this web server. I should...

Read More

Thought I Did It Again

I was just remembering, yesterday, a time I played piano for a bunch of singers at a Christmas concert in Brooklyn. With rehearsals and practice time I was involved with this production for about a month. Every step of the way...

Read More

Trying to be positive

It’s amazing what a difference even a smattering of contact with a new-to-me human being has on my disposition. A couple of YT comments had me bounding from this place, facing the world like a conqueror. Just as abruptly...

Read More

missing

So many things go missing. Memory is a bastard peris (that was supposed to be ‘period’) a bastard. Rummaging through hundreds even thousands of old photos photos last night I turned up a squall of images I completely...

Read More

moments

I do not remember them. So many of my minutes blacked out. I don’t even want to save them and I am one who wants to save everything.

Read More

1,866

Woke up and wrote over 1800 words for a story inspired by a dream I had but also based on real-life experiences. A woman I used to know was in love with intelligence. She claimed the most physically repulsive person alive could...

Read More

Scared Her Off

I think it was my 12-letter words and big ambitions. She’s a simple sort, poor (like me), with no desires to do anything but sit at her desk 11-12 hours a day. Her voice is oddly shrill for such a timid creature. We did...

Read More

Made it Through

Made it through to another morning. Cloudy, overcast, a bird squawking outside. I crushed my first spotted lanternfly a  couple of days ago. I thought I got it on video but I did not. I first spotted one on Amsterdam Avenue,...

Read More

Found Somebody’s iPhone

A few weeks ago I spotted an odd-looking shiny object on a sidewalk on 28th Street, by the basketball courts at the Dutch Kills Playgrounds just north of 36th Avenue. It was an iPhone, but the way it had landed on the sidewalk,...

Read More

Anything To Say? Incoherent Rambles.

Strange moment of kismet the other day. A friend emailed a link to a story about Frank Sinatra’s habit of carrying 10 dimes everywhere he went in case he needed to make payphone calls. Moments later I went downstairs and...

Read More

Rhombus!

What can you do with a rhombus? Well for starters you can turn it into a square. You can make it rectangle. You can turn to into a circle, a star, a fraction, a quadratic equation. You can do anything with a rhombus.

Read More

.mobi redux

I let sorabji.mobi, one of my favorite domains, expire a few months ago. .mobi is a failed top level domain originally intended for use by websites that were designed for mobile devices. That was before seemingly everything was...

Read More

181 Alignment

A couple of curious alignments of the 181 took place this week. Someone contacted me about doing an interview for their podcast. The email included a link to their YouTube channel. The channel had 181 followers. I later got this...

Read More

Stain

Just some follow-up, or follow-on, as I sometimes see people say, to yesterday’s existential weirdness: I remain in limbo, which is where I intend to stay for all time, as to whether I have a daughter. Such a strange and...

Read More

My Mother Considered Letting Me Go Early.

She mentioned it twice, both times driving the car whilst circambcombanducantortadillaybewildered, saying it was always/only a woman’s right, not any man’s, a sentiment with which I never disagreed, on instinct,...

Read More

Must Gurgitate

Awaking to the usual expectation of expectoration, that I must produce, must create, must continue to fill oceans with mountains, mountains of text, intellectual cardboard, impossibly forgotten photographs, mental effluvia of...

Read More

I Was Born at Walter Reed Army Hospital

Whatever you can say about things here at peak 2020, how we got here, who got us there… the President of the United States should not be seen hauled off to Walter Reed in an Air Force One Medevac. Or should he? And also, I...

Read More

Screenshots

I had to clear space on my phone, and wound up deleting, among other things, a bunch of screenshots I made last year and the year before. I can find sadness in all things, even the best, most inspiring news. But some of these...

Read More

Cocoon of Personal Space

I experienced a couple of unnerving incidents the past few days. Yesterday, on 5th Avenue around 50th Street, with sidewalks still relatively sparsely populated compared to pre-pandemic days, a thin, derelict-looking woman...

Read More

E-Mail to Robert Helps, 1992

Dear Bob, Hello. How are you doing? I was thinking of you last night when I ordered a Cape Codder at Kennedy’s Restaurant & Bar on West 57th Street. They made it exceptionally strong, I think, which may have...

Read More

New story brewing…Hard work paying off

Another Gothamist story appears to be brewing. A journalist there tweeted to someone who posted a video over the weekend, to get a quote from him about the kiosks. He seems to be a skeptic of the kiosks, from what little else he has posted, questioning the pat response that it is an “old-fashioned phone […]

Read More

Chances

Might have just taken too huge of a chance on things, but I did it intentionally. A well-dressed dude with a professional-grade video camera and tripod was shooting video on Third Avenue, I think at 52nd Street. There was a kiosk right in front of him. I stepped into the frame and dialed the number, […]

Read More

Directions for Hire, and the Shenanigan Revisited

I have had this thought before, but never chronicled it. I have to ask if it is possible that people get paid to go around neighborhoods asking for directions to certain places. I was just approached by a woman walking the other direction with what I assume were her two kids, a young daughter and […]

Read More

More Evidence

I just gave someone pinpoint and accurate directions to 33rd Avenue in Astoria, the little sidestreet even native Astorians do not think exists. I have, in the past, given inaccurate directions to that street, even though I pass it very frequently. But it is, even on repeated exposure, not a street to take note of. […]

Read More

I have a beautiful voice

More day. Up early. Getting up early just gives me more time to waste. I think, no I know, that this sentiment turned a certain correspondent against me. I guess I can’t blame her, though the conversation was getting rather long in the tooth anyway. I have not missed it. Interesting crowd last night. One […]

Read More

Fundamentals

Who has time for anything? How does anyone have time to do anything? Certain words and concepts give me more and more trouble as I keep them in consideration. So much of our civilization relies on phenomena and behaviors that cannot be proven to have occurred. You say you see something. Prove it. Disprove it. […]

Read More

Slept 12 or 13 Hours

At Rockefeller Center in what might be the most perfect spot in terms of air conditioning. I am directly under one of the vents, and Rockefeller Center has air conditioning that is, if anything, a little over the top even on very hot days. I had a conversation about that with one of the post […]

Read More

Ab Perf

At the coffee shop, a ponderous and hot afternoon spent wandering the kiosks for what feels like something of an end run. I’ll keep doing it but not as determinedly, and more in keeping with how I used to do it, which was on my way to whatever else I am doing. I think I’m […]

Read More

Ripple Effects

The ripple effects are subtle, yet morbid once you key into them. At 40th Avenue and 29th Street I saw and waved hello to someone who lives in my building as he was walking the other direction. I smiled some, thinking that the relative unlikelihood of seeing this person so far from the building (6 […]

Read More

I know, I know…

Don’t know what to know, what not to know, what there is to know. I know nothing, I know everything, but all else I know is that something exists in between nothing and everything. At the library for the first time in a long while, save for just idly passing through. I don’t see any […]

Read More

Prisms

At the coffee shop, using a new bluetooth keyboard for the first time since getting it a couple of weeks ago. This Logitech K380 replaces a previous K380, which developed an annoying habit of switching some keys around. So if I want to put something within quotation marks it would come up as being with […]

Read More

Righteous

OK, since I don’t think that last payphone call worked and because I’d rather be anywhere but at home, I am at the coffee shop, reprising what I attempted to report earlier. I seem to have finally achieved the success I thought I had reached a few days ago, with regard to getting a radio […]

Read More

After the pills

Alright, then, back on the ferris wheel of life, or rather the trampoline, the Weeble that can’t not wobble. Feeling fine now but guilty, and undeserving of anything. Wrote some stuff from home, now writing again at the ghetto coffee shop, which isn’t really all that ghetto except once in a while when someone walks […]

Read More

Accomplishful

Today felt accomplishful. I listened back to some recordings I forgot all about. It’s from February 20, the day I walked to the Unisphere and back, a trek which must rank among my most epic. At a certain point it felt like I was abusing myself, as I now recall from listening to the tracks. […]

Read More

Questions while hearing a car alarm

How is that the standard? How is anything the standard. Discussion lead to discussions lead to concussions and repercussions. I am traveling without moving, unraveling without behooving, babbling without disproving. It is a never never land of constipation and triangulation incinerated by infiltrations. Where are the questions? Who thinks to ask if a cherry is […]

Read More

Share: The Hour of Our Death

He asks forgiveness of his friends, takes his leave of them, and commends them to Cod. OK, that posting made no sense without context. I’ve been reading The Hour Of Our Death and this was a quote from that book, where “God” was misspelled “Cod”, and this was not in the context of a burial at […]

Read More

SUNAC CANS AN ANUS

The dude who cuts my hair, I cannot tell if he seriously has a beef with how long I wait between haircuts. Today he said something like “Why don’t you wait another three months?” Then he commented on the quantity of hair left on the… what do you call the sheet he puts over me? […]

Read More

A working day

Sweet Emotion. That is not what I am feeling. It is the song on the speakers here at the bar. I spent a few hours at the SASB today, not exactly doing research but sizing up what resources are available on-site only and what they are really good for. Still not certain but the NEWSBANK […]

Read More

PRAY Hunting

Nothing is ever easy. Right? Today’s PRAY hunting turned up not much, but not quite nothing. I contacted a Bellevue historian and the author of the book I  described before as having the bad citation. The latter appears to have not written another book since that one, the former will probably just ignore me, because […]

Read More

Andy?

So then, yesterday I was kind of all over the place. I walked from home to Penn Station via Sutton Place and First Avenue to Rockefeller Center and then down to the SASB, where the much-anticipated footnote awaited. I had found a book online, called “Getting Up”, which chronicled the graffiti scene in New York […]

Read More

At SASB

Another first-in-a-while excursion finds me at the Rose Main Reading Room for the first time in maybe 2 years. It does not enchant me like it used to, but then nothing does, save, perhaps for PRAY. She is why I am here, to research a single footnote I spotted in an online book excerpt, one […]

Read More

Back on the .MOBI approach

Have not done this in a while. At the ghetto coffee shop, where a dude nearby is screaming into his cell phone. What is he saying? I had thoughts to relevate but the scampering, trilling sound of Greek has shaken them from the treebranches of my unrooted mind. I’ve been listening back and editing down […]

Read More

Gastro Humor

I found this in the MEMOS.doc I pulled from a few days ago. This was funny, moreso at the time than now but still good for a slight heaving of the lower gut from whence laughter rises. ===== A know someone who works for a Gastroenterologist. All day he takes calls from people who needed […]

Read More

Jfk

My mother at the JFK Airport poking her finger into my chest saying, your father and I are very proud of you. I could laugh. I was like, you guys did not get on board with the MT locomotive until the train left the Tampa Amtrak  Still…, i remember looking away

Read More

Dream Words

Feels as if I I have not done this in a long time. The .MOBI. I miss the .MOBI. It was my unique little thing. It was self-serving and gratuitous at times, but if ever I look back at it I find something I would not have remembered, or good ideas. I guess I should […]

Read More

Washington, D.C.: I Called From a Gallery Center Metro Payphone

It’s from 5 years ago. I am a depressing mofo sometimes, as the middle part of this call demonstrates. This is from a trip to Washington, D.C., in October, 2012. I visited the Congressional Cemetery and, the day after this phone call, Arlington, along with the usual walkable places like the Lincoln Memorial, The Mall, […]

Read More

Jimmy: An Alumni Challenge

I have never been in charge of any kind of alumni reunion related decisions. I don’t go to those events. I did go to a high school event on the 5 year anniversary but I think that was the only one. An interesting challenge would be to match up two people who did not know […]

Read More

Lies? Or is it Something Else?

It is interesting to me to notice how often people say things about me and themselves that are not true. While what I guess you could call reminiscing with an ex-girlfriend about our time together many many years ago she said something about how she remembered what a fabulous cook I was, and how creative […]

Read More

Pills

Using the WordPress Android app for the tablet. Never have made much use of this. I tried it a few weeks ago and was surprisingly impressed. I am watching the people walk past. There goes one of the surly cashiers from the Key Food, the store which used to be the Food World. I  remember […]

Read More

Strange thing to wish for

I wish I had taken pictures of the mens bathroom at Rockefeller Center, the one near the entrance to the “Today” show. It was closed for a few weeks for renovation and now it’s open again. Sparkly clean and new, though not radically different from how it was before. Not much has changed at Rockefeller […]

Read More

Commotious

At a Starbucks, where the place feels like a positive commotion. Do not remember last time I was here but probably not as long ago as I so often retrospectively infer. It is Halloween. This was, as a child, the one holiday or event that my mother felt had not yet been excessively commercialized. How […]

Read More

Panic Switch

Just for the record, for whoever reads it or thinks it should be recorded, I just came as close as I have since the ER visit to returning there. Took three whole panic pills and needed what must have been over an hour to start feeling close to normal again. Still kind of shaking. In […]

Read More

Apology: Bubbleheads

Last night I listened to some of those hours of cassette tape audio I recorded, grabbing this mildly interesting statement from someone who said he had prison and law enforcement experience. He just wanted to say that someone calling earlier who said they were a killer was obviously no killer. I don’t remember the caller […]

Read More

Round of Applause From My Gut

I did not notice until I changed course, that I was feeling a sense of anticipatory elevation that precedes walking up onto the Ed Koch/Queensboro Bridge. My mind enters a sort of survivalist mode as I approach and then first set foot up there. I think it’s a base instinct. What if the bridge collapses? […]

Read More

Everything

It’s all covered with snow. It’s all covered with snow. It’s all covered with snow. It’s all covered with snow.

Read More

It’s a scramble for ideas

THE BOX Someone tells me these things. I cannot say who, why, when, or what. Information is privileged and stuffed in a wood box once filled with opium and disaster. More inventory has emerged from the box than could ever have fit within. I have seen trumpets, corn harvests, and thickening echoes of humming light […]

Read More

Kosciuszko Ruins

That was an interesting little jaunt. I went out to Calvary for the first time in a while, not cognizant of the fact that they were slowly demolishing the old Kosciuszko Bridge. I have heard about the slow dismantling of that bridge but thoughts of that did not enter my mind as I walked over […]

Read More

Reality’s Reward

I just overheard someone make a comment that rings true on many levels. He said to somebody “There is your side of the story, then there’s their side of the story, and then there is what really happened.” Yes. So many narratives we craft about our lives are the stuff of fantasy, for better or […]

Read More

Go

I don’t want to talk about it. But it is almost enough to make me want to cry. I feel bad, am bad. Remembering a woman at Queens Plaza a couple of weeks ago who repeatedly shouted “I DON’T FEEL GOOD, AND IT’S PISSING ME OFF!” I heard her shouting this plaintive wail at least […]

Read More

Lie’s Work

Not much time to type, and not much to say anyway. I shared with someone the opening line of my autobiography: My grandfather was a sewer cleaner. Granny was a cunt. It’s true on both counts. The challenge is to unravel the relevance these two points have on how I turned out as a growed […]

Read More

What

As exhausted as I am you’d think I just played a full concert. Got my 90 minutes worth out of room 12 at Astoria Soundworks. I remember a ew years after playing my first real gig in a long time I slept until 5PM. Nothing so extreme this time, I don’t think, though I guess […]

Read More

Waiting for the real thing

Sitting in Ditmars Park, waiting for a practice room to open at Astoria Soundworks. Have not been there in a while, maybe a few years. Have not played on a “real” piano since then, I don’t think. Nothing really to say but here is a gift of 20 minutes in which to say it. This […]

Read More

O.J.?

Not to make light of the matter in any possible way, but… Yesterday when I turned on the radio and heard of the situation in Las Vegas my first thought was: “O.J.?” And you know, when I had that thought I was not even joking or thinking it ludicrous that O.J. Simpson’s first order of […]

Read More

Who was Hobo Ken?

Another day another mini-adventure. I thought I’d go to the Newport Centre Mall but when the first PATH train out of 33rd Street was not going there I said fuggit, and went to Hoboken. I have been there before but I can’t remember how long it’s been since I last wandered around there. I built […]

Read More

Journal Square

That turned out to be quite glorious. Well, I exaggerate for comedic effect, as so many people throughout my life have failed to understand. I made it over to Journal Square in Jersey City to do some payphone hunting. In particular I saw an image somewhere a long time ago that showed an old wood […]

Read More

Clean Bill of Health

Second .MOBI of the day, this time from ghetto coffee shop. I recorded a short audio bit but have not done anything with it or the other sounds. I just e-mailed a friend who might know about such things to ask if he knows anything about getting gigs as a classical musician on board cruise […]

Read More

Garbage

Here I am at the Windmill. I tried to work here on Monday but the gate was closed. Today there is a lot of noise from the school yard and from someone blasting music from a radio and SINGING ALONG WITH IT. I walked from 101st Street and West End Avenue to Union Square yesterday, […]

Read More

I have a good memory.

So said a college friend at the Old Town Bar tonight. “You have a good memory.” Whoooooosh. My memory is bulletproof ACEs. Just sayin’.

Read More

Oh Jeez, it’s a cassette of me playing live at The Bitter End.

I did not know this tape existed. Whoosh. NO MEMORY of playing Robert Helps at the Bitter End. Awesome. For him, that is! Haha. And then I played Henry Cowell. Meh, pedestrian compared to Helps and Glass… Or no? I used to be quite the musician. At the end of this I remember people shaking […]

Read More

Hah

This matter of listening to all my old cassette tapes has been… enlightening? I don’t know. It’s interesting how many answering machine messages and corporate vcoiemails I saved, as if I thought I would need them 20 or 25 years later. Most people I know now, since the voicemail era has prevailed for so long, […]

Read More

GWB

Yesterday turned out to be epic. I made it up onto the walkway of the George Washington Bridge. I went up to see something I guess I’ll never be able to see again: An unobstructed view of the Hudson River. On account of the suicides that seem to plague that bridge it’s been decided that […]

Read More

Acid Bath

I tried to call it in today from a payphone on 21st Street. Nothing doing. I’ve no idea why but the call did not record. I neglected to finish the Irma story. In fact the story of what happened with my contacts and relatives in Florida ended yesterday. The house in which I grew up […]

Read More

Obvious Questions

The questions are never lost on me during these adventures in sobriety: Who cares? Does it even matter? Am I too far gone? Does my body stop wanting to be healthy? The body has responded as it typically does. I eat, eat, and eat. I’ve put on 4-5 pounds since last week. Then the body […]

Read More

Damn, man

This journey through a couple of bags full of old cassettes turned up an unexpectedly depressing reel. 45 minutes of me talking from the Red Carpet Inn in Daytona Beach about my father’s suicide. I remember feeling the melodrama of this sentiment as I said it but I said it anyway: There is a stain […]

Read More

Dance Dance Dance Redux

I’d been watching the weather from Florida so much that when I looked out the window here I expected high winds and pelting rain. Hah. Beautiful day here. Diane said she got wrong information about the mandatory 8pm power outage yesterday. It might actually be tonight, or it might not be at all. Some forecasts […]

Read More

More on Irma, and Charley

After following the Florida storm coverage for much of the last 2 days I went outside here today expecting stiff winds and pelting rain. Nothing of the kind. A beautiful day. Still a little worried about that old house in Tampa (and the people in it) but all we can do now is wait.Talked to […]

Read More

Maps

Watching the maps, the spaghetti models. They have it tearing across Tampa as a Cat 4. My niece, in Fort Lauderdale, is 8 months pregnant and apparently cannot leave. The other niece evacuated from St. Petersburg to Tallahassee. I guess they are my step-nieces, since they are from my sister’s husband’s previous marriage. Doesn’t really […]

Read More

Discard

Doing what I seldom do, which is discarding stuff I don’t need or forgot I even had. Got all nostalgic about the boxes in which were shipped many of the gadgets I’ve owned over the years. Packaging is seductive. Good packaging, that is. Next step is to purge a few boxloads of those old music […]

Read More

Boundaries, from Article at Catapult.co

“Do you want to be known for your writing, or for your swift email responses?” – article at Catapult.co The truth is, I do need to cancel plans regularly. I need to disappear for a few days or even months to attend to my writing. Friends or lovers who resent this, who interpret it as […]

Read More

Fustercluck

Crossed paths with two exes the other day, within a few minutes of each other. One isn’t really an ex. That was L., the Dalliance, the Huge Mistake Averted, the Bullet Dodged. I changed direction to avoid anntoy kind of encounter, and I’m reasonably sure she noticed. But I don’t even care. The only takeaway […]

Read More

How Do I Do This?

I have not done authentic .MOBI in a while. Last posting COMPROMISED MY INTEGRITY by posting from home. At present I am out to see what activity circles around the eclipse. I made an effort yesterday to procure a set of the eclipse glasses but no one in Astoria had them. I made it as […]

Read More

Dark

I have seen the Dark Web. I may not have delved any deeper than the Deep Web, although links to alleged CP (you know what that stands for) sites were all over the place. But I think there were actually more pleas from site owners to not even discuss that matter than there seemed to […]

Read More

It Went Well

They greeted me like I was a celebrity. And, to be real, in some circles I guess I would qualify as a very minor public figure. This was the group of activists that want to do away with LinkNYC or else take a different approach. I don’t think it is within anyone’s authority to have […]

Read More
Loading