Category: Text

This Jetpack editor makes no sense!

I have to ask myself: Where am I? What am I doing? How did I get here? Will this be the last breath, or the first? What do the unpredictable pains in my innards tell me? I am happy to be here, on this spot, on this chair in this...

Mirror

I interviewed for a promising sounding job last week, but on reflection I don’t think I can remain in consideration. The hours are from 10pm-6am, and I did some reading on how working that shift can create health risks. I...

After literally tearing apart Saturday’s pants I decided to go sartorial and replace those hated, filthy, nearly-transparent pants with credible, opaque leg and crotch and butt coverings that would not expose my sometimes...

My usual morning routine involves feeding my head with garbage news of the day, articles I typically only read half way, if that much, retaining little more than the headline. I’ve learned to avoid following headlines that...

I don’t think I will ever be able to impress upon her just how random it was when we reconnected and she dialed in to my Payphone Radio. With over 60 hours (I think) of audio she tuned in just for a couple of minutes,...

I got a laugh out of this. I’m at the office when I looked at my phone and saw a text message from an unknown number. It said “How is your life in New York?” I did not recognize the number but the message...

I gave Blank Street Coffee a try. I won’t return. The place lived up to its name in many ways. Most irritatingly to me was the store’s refusal to issue a paper receipt. That is actually legal for purchases under $5...

Moving domains from overpriced godaddy to namecheap has taken months, and remains in progress. I have too many domain names. For some reason I’ve lately fielded inquiries about sorabji.com being for sale. It is not for...

I momentarily thought I might be incontinent. I had relieved myself and, per human nature, I briefly basked in the afterglow of having taken a reasonably credible dump. While remaining seated I heard trickling of liquid. I...

Nothing to remember, so far, from this day. I am alone at the job today. Staffing at this gig is unpredictable. Feels like I barely slept. Too much vodak, I fear. Hot amd miserable outdoors. I’m at a desk, sweatless. My...

But the crowds remain. Heat got at me on Albany and Greenwich. Felt I might tip over. Took some shaded shelter on Thames Street, where I solemnly watched an elderly couple enter the Cloud One Hotel,  but don’t remember...

Animal has a stronger punch than fluky expectationalists expected. I knew of this since childhood, after years of training to be a kangaroo boxer in the underground runaround. I was good but the ‘roos triumphed night after...

I turned around to see if someone had entered the elevator after me. There was a sound, likely caused by the door closing, that made me think I was not in the elevator alone. No one else was present. The car smelled of piss. I...

When is time unwasted? Wasteless. When do efficiencies and bullseyes come together to maximize not just the moment but the hours, weeks, years that led to this. When do the gears turn with a frenzy of conception and birth and...

I told her what I’ve told others: “I’m a pain in the ass to sleep with.” She started to correct me, until I clarified that I meant actual sleep, not the other stuff. It was nice to be corrected, though....

I have not worn a rubber band on my wrist, probably since grade school. This one is a little too tight. It has been reprovisioned after serving to keep a container of strawberries sealed shut. Not vacuum sealed, just holding the...

Something decidedly weird happened at the computer yesterday. I am at work, where I had, until a couple of months ago, refused to use the work PCs to log into any of my personal accounts. I don’t necessarily trust this...

I get so used to seeing myself that way, and being that way, that it seems impossible to avoid a future where all of it gets revealed, raw and lazy. I won’t complain. Worlds will keep turning. Oceans will not empty. I will...

I don’t know if I spell it correctly, but one of my father’s made-up hillbilly words was “‘schpital.” Guess what it means. Go ahead… Hospital. He made up many word-substitutes but this one...

I know little about anything. I look at a map and see infinite spaghetti, endless intertwined miles of lives lived with furyless disenchantment. Spectacles and passing fads blast through skies among comets and blobs of octopus...

Is everything fantasy? Are dreams unfulfilled no matter how hard we lie to ourselves? Do we dine from impossible platters never served? Are lovers invisible or simply not there? When do dreams become taxable? Become taxes...

I booked a few days off of work, giving me a sizzling 5-day streak of not spending my day quiet-quitting a job that has no future and, impressively, also feels like it has no past. It is going to be hot as balls, putting my...

Something no other woman has ever said to me was spoken yesterday. As she stroked and held me she said “I am not one to admire, but that is handsome.” She later added that “Back in the day,” referring to...

A catty bark sends the city into pity, erasing guardian protections and stewardships which formerly smoothed transitions between Jack and Jill. I formulated certain of the negotiations and strategies that led to this condition,...

And I’m already nervous. Usually I get here before 8am but subways were twisted asunder today with the MTA app providing meaningless information and in-station signs and announcements making no sense, seemingly on...

She gets them. Sometimes they are vulgar. What am I saying… they are always vulgar. She is not fine with it but nothing can really be done. The people who shout at her scramble off, or else they are obviously disturbed or...

She uses the word a lot, in various forms. “I’m happy” “Happiness.” “Happyhappy.” Cooking for me and feeding me makes her happy. My happiness is her happiness. She strokes my hair when I...

We walked yesterday. Around Ridgewood, around the block, around this one-horse town. The neighborhood-y feel of Ridgewood drastically turns to blight at Flushing Avenue, where we briefly visited the Onderdonk House. That...

Is a word I use often but I do not mean it. Nothing is understood. I stood under nothing with respect to what you just explained to me. If I stood under your beliefs it would imply I supported them or advocated their merits and...

Got some sun yesterday, more than I’ve absorbed in a long while. Today there’s a headache and some burn on my neck. How I suffer. I was working on other things but when I saw the bright, hot sun beating down I could...

I didn’t want to let it go. Did I even have to? Was it mandatory that I shower and wash my face clean of the honey? I suppose it was. The better part of decorum prevailed. I whispered to her that I did not want to let it...

Feels like I have something to say but, as often, there is in fact nothing there. Void. Emptiness fills my sanity and my soul. A whirring hum of zeroes and nulls. I wore long sleeves today. Long sleeved shirt. It seemed...

This workplace can be very uncomfortable on weekends and holidays. While other sections of the building are air conditioned they choose, for whatever reason, not to activate a/c on this area. The other side of the floor, where...

She said she wants to “ride this train” as long as possible. It’s like semi-retirement, but she’s not the sort who looks for an ending. There is always something else on the horizon, some new adventure or...

First Starbucks in I don’t know how long. I forgot how gross I find it. Acidic, muddy, tastes a bit like pipe. Sandy pipe. My other options were unavailable and time was running short so I did what I had to do, got what I...

At work. On the job. Feeling icy inside. Earthquake in NJ last night. Radio commentators were confusing, making it sound like a 4.8 had hit. THis job is a zero for me now. I quiet quit many months ago. You cannot expect someone...

I found an odd quirk at arhive.org yesterday. A search for “sorabji” turned up a number of expected results, meaning the name “sorabji” was somewhere in the title or description. But one item caught my...

That was a word of the day yesterday. She said she loves how I greet the day with “nothing.” Completely naked, not a sock, not a shirt, not even my glasses with which to see. She’s not wrong. Typically I spend...

The account I rarely tell anybody, but it’s long enough in the past that it doesn’t matter anymore. All of it, the context and the details, are forgotten now to all but me. I am prone to abusive relationships, and...

Before the Loaner Scope- FAMO was introduced through my anus and advanced to the cecum and identified by appendiceal orifice and ileocecal valve, the doctor in charge of the procedue asked if I was nervous or concerned. I said...

Trying something I’ve yet to do from this job, which I have held for over 2 years now. I have never mixed personal activities or creative output with being here at this position. It seemed wrong, and it seemed probably...

Like a lot of people, since Covid I have lost any sense of time. Months pass like days, weeks pass like minutes, or the opposite sensation where a day feels like a year. I was commenting on a grocery store that had “just...

I have a powerful weapon. All others pale in its overpowering bombast and colorized omnipresence. I cannot identify it, for that would loosen its grip. Tools and powers should never be revealed or boasted of.

I was asleep early, maybe around 7:00pm, after a long and draining day, when I woke up around 7:30pm. Unaware I had only slept a half hour I thought I had slept a full night, over 12 hours, and that I had better get going to not...

Had an idea here but let it slip away. Slip slide slippery slope, sloppy slippers sliding subtly into substreams of gaseous elements. Walked past an early morning class that was commencing at a place where cement workers get...

What would the last 33 years have been like had we never parted ways? This relationship, if I can call it that, interests me intellectually more than any I can remember. We seem to get each other, although with age comes...

Conversation yesterday made me realize that I talk on the phone to virtually nobody. I used to say I hated having full conversations via text, but that seems to have become normal for me. I have not heard my sister’s voice...

Feeling normal again, whatever normal even means. Now it means not running a temperature, not feeling a soreness in my throat that makes swallowing any food a painful challenge, not gagging when I brush my tongue (I now know...

Whoever found or finds the bag I lost this week is in for an unusual assortment of detritus. My work photo ID, which has my name and place of employment, was stashed in a bag with some condoms and some Lipton tea bags. There may...

I don’t know how, but I seem to have lost my company ID card. That makes no sense in any world but after 20 minutes searching this AM I gave up. It has to be somewhere. But the upshot for now is that, after sneaking into...

I’m not getting lucky with the wakeup routines this week. First the kitchen sink spring a leak beyond my ability to fix. The landlord came and fixed it quickly, but not after I spent a morning hauling a very full bucket of...

Bad, restless, sleepless sleep. Woke up asking myself if I really got any sleep at all. No time for dreams. Have a sore throat and do not know why. Slept with mouth open, I suspect. Had trouble with the shower, too. Somehow...

Whose days are whose? When is my day mine, and our day ours? Did I do everything I needed to do yesterday? The day before? Things to be done by others outside my circles, outside my squares, their work still need to be done, for...

I cannot even think of anything to say. THought I’d be late to work (meaning less than an hour early) but here I am, a few minutes before 8 am and thus over an hour early. I’ve been reading a couple of prison books....

Somewhere in Ridgewood a school-aged kid is kicking a soccer ball against a fence. 8 inches beyond that fence is a tombstone, one of thousands at a cemetery that neighbors the playground where the kid kicks the ball. It is an...

I told her “I used your POPEYES bag to transport my strawberries to work.” I then added that the statement sounded like some kind of coded messages but really, that is all there was to it. The POPEYES bag she left in...

Something I fail to understand is how people can find my public phone number but not see the e-mail address that is posted on the very same page. Some say the email address does not work but I suspect they are spelling something...

I knew I was being too cynical about it. The system is there, it’s been there for a long time, so it has to have some useful function, right? But it’s the MTA, so cynicism is natural. A few weeks ago my 30-day...

Where is it going? Who needs to know? At work early, as usual, no matter what else wails in my personal life. I made it to the first doctor’s appointment in over a year yesterday. I feel like I’m lying when they take...

She might be coming to my place tomorrow. I’ve been to her place twice now. She has a beautiful apartment but no couch and the furniture is kind of random. The best place to sit and talk would be the bed, and she invited...

When is a memory not a memory? Should not two people who shared an experience both remember it, and if they do not, is the memory negated, even if documentary evidence of the shared incident is available? In going over...

Met up yesterday with someone i had not seen in something like 30 years. I guess I can call her an ex-lover, my first in NYC, and my first first, if you know what I mean. I had girlfriends in college but ours was a rather...

The new shower accoutrements are a mixed bag. On the one hand, when I sit for the first time there is a cushion there to rest my back on. That is nice. I never laid back like this before, or at least not very often, because of...

Not going to be a fun day. Feeling fibers of my flesh. Slept poorly but with ambitions to the contrary. I think I’ve become adept at relaxing the muscles in my face. That was harder to accomplish thanI expected but I think...

And I think it’s a win. I got a shower cushion nad I think it fits perfectly. I can lie back in the tub without the cold shock and ongoing discomfort of rubbing my spine against the tub’s cold surface. I mean, this...

Saturdays it feels like I get the place to myself. The workplace. I don’t, but with few others on board and a general tendency to avoid shitting where you work I get a crystal clean bathroom and kitchen that only I will...

A correspondence with a dating site woman has kicked off in the usual stereotypical way. I write two or three complete sentences, she responds with a single word, at most two words. Breadcrumbing, it’s called. I hate it. I...

I had a dream in which my sister and her husband announced they were going to a place called Peanut Butter Park. It was an amusement park with a peanut butter theme, something every childhood never knew it needed until now. That...

You didn’t say it. I did. I said everything there was to say about the leafiness, the hardness, the annoying sticker and the goo it leaves behind, needing to be scrubbed off. You cannot eat that apple without payments to...

Wearing an ex-girlfriend’s socks, and the underpants of an unknown man. I know how the socks came into my possession but the underpants remain a minor mystery involving misdirected mail opened before checking the recipient...

I don’t know who she is but I hear her voice, deep and raw, slumbering in my head, talking in her sleep. It is the same warnings I hear but cannot understand as they slip and strain through the sounds of an air conditioner...

Something I’ve been afraid to say outloud to myself, for fear of what I do not know, is that I’ve been hopelessly, painfully lonely these past few years. I’ve made new friends, had some interesting/wonderful...

Express went local. 5 vibe felt off. People very tall sitting down like fallen trees. I had a whore in my head. Hundreds of them. Watched an interesting-looking woman navigate her way around, tourist, traveling alone, looking...

The only thing anyone does at this company, the only reason anyone shows up and gets paid to be here, is to watch me eat strawberries. I lift each strawberry, one at a time, and bite into it, sometimes ingesting the entirety of...

Autumn arrived like a brick wall, but I’m getting adjusted. The waning light and cold keep you on your toes, but then, there is also the beautiful slanting light in the trees, the snow on the mountains and the feeling that...

Woke up to a kind of flood. Stagnation. Water surrounding me, it seemed. FOrtunately my shower head has an on/off switch, where any time I use it I have to remind myself that up is off and down is on. That seems counterintuitive...

As much as I sometimes feel it has squashed my life into a pancake, I cannot lie that it feels safer here at the office than at home. I worked from home for 20 years, almost completely in solitude. It gains on you. It envelopes...

I made it through a rough couple of days and nights. I feel fine now. It was scary but I had a friend who cared about me, and that made all the difference. You don’t always know who your friends are, or who they are not. I...

If I wake up tomorrow I will be surprised to be alive.