The current batch of well-intentioned subway litanies discouraging people from being suicidal clickbait by riding on top of subway cars reminds me, inevitably, of the Florida license plate campaign called “ARRIVE ALIVE.” Without doing a blip of research my memory of the program was that in Florida cars were only required to have a rear license plate. The front plate, then, could be whatever you wanted, and somehow the “ARRIVE ALIVE” plate became a popular choice for filling that space on the front of your vehicle.
My mother thought the statement, or the tagline, or whatever you’d call it, was absurd, and laughable. “How else are you going to arrive?” She imagined vehicles arriving at their destinations with the skeletal remains of a long-deceased driver and the other seats filled with rotting carcasses. Somehow the vehicle arrives at its destination and parks perfectly, inspiring the state of Florida to issue a terse set of instructions: “ARRIVE ALIVE.” “They failed to arrive alive,” my mother would say. “They didn’t read the instructions.”
Her issue with the “ARRIVE ALIVE” campaign was its logic, or lack thereof. There was simply no other condition besides alive in which you could arrive. If you’re not alive, you cannot arrive. Have you ever heard anyone commont on how someone arrived at the wedding dead? I suppose one could have a heart attack in their vehicle upon arrival but the actual act of arriving in your vehicle at your destination already dead is extraordinarily unlikely, as my mother was known to rant and jocularize.
By comparison the subway speeches are logical. “Stay inside. Stay alive.” That makes sense. Step outside onto the roof of a moving train, risk your life and potentially die for some social media clout that would likely backfire on you anyway.
