I think it’s been about a month since it ended. I did not keep her toothbrush hanging from the bathroom holster this long for any reason except oversight. I removed her bath towel from the inventory and sent it to laundry after it had hung from the shower curtain rod for a couple of weeks.
Oversight is an odd word. I just used in meaning that I failed to observe it, yet oversight is also defined as an authority of sorts, where one engages in actively observing activities or inventories.
I am slow to anger but any time I think about how this ended it angrifies me. I was never anything but decent, kind, and patient toward her. I was always decent. The sex was good and getting better, which is how that works with me. I don’t just slam a woman on first encounter. It takes time to understand. IT was getting better, and in fact it had been pretty fucking amazing just 2 nights before I got the ultimatum: too much texting. She didn’t think texting was a suitable means for communicating during the day. I’m not in love with it either but given my current lifestyle it suits my routines and I had no real problem with it. But to her it was worth cutting me off. Of course she quickly regretted it, and texted me numerous times the very next day, saying she missed me desperately. I ignored everything before finally blocking her number. I did not want to do that. It felt mean, and I am not a mean person. But her time was being wasted and so was mine, and further to that she basically requested that I block her.
But enough of that. I do get angry at having wasted my good intentions and kindness, and patience. But that’s how it goes. That’s how the cookie crumbles, how the twig is bent, how the nosehairs are plucked.
In other news I thought I had my illustrious PLEX server running and available from anywhere but something seems to be amiss in this long-sought dream. I had PLEX running on the desktop PC but keeping that thing running 24/7 just to be a media server consumed more electricity than it was worth. So I got a Mini-PC that is said to use less than a killowatt of energy in a full year of 24/7 operation. I don’t know what is up with PLEX today (or why I keep spelling it in ALL CAPS). The server itself is alive but it can’t get to any content, so maybe one of the hard drives went to sleep or took a vacation.
I set up Stable Diffusion yesterday using Pinokio and, as much as it simplified the process just a little bit, I find that I had no reason to do this through Pinokio having done a clean install myself already. Pinokio took over an hour to do everything, install its local instances of Python and all that, but in the end I was looking at exactly the same SD interface I already had. I also found, on further reading, that people who set up this way found that generating images was speedy enough at first but gradually it slowed and slowed and became useless. This was not an issue with the clean install of SD.
Of course the question is rightly asked: Why am I even doing this, spending this kind of time on what is ultimately a brief fascination. Pinokio looks interesting, though, if it makes it easy to install other AI apps. I guess. I don’t even know. Sometimes you see a headline that praises the fuck out of something and you feel obligated to change what you do to follow the hype.
I slept nicely. The air conditioner, which has been a source of annoyance as well as appreciation, made me feel like I was in some kind of paradise this night. It was just perfect, making me the envy of nobody because nobody knows. I’m also relieved to find that it consumes far less energy than I feared. Running it almost every night last month only added $20 to the ConEd bill, if that much.
The dude who takes a shit here every single morning just marched into position, probably taking the center of three stalls and shitting loudly and angrily. I still get peeved seeing that dude after he sat down in the stall right next to me and just started shitting. Who the hell does that? And it was right at the moment where I had to start wiping my ass. With no white noise or other sound in this room to distract the sounds of me burrowing the passable but still crinkly-noisy toilet paper up my bung would be loud enough to hear clear down to the Whitehall terminal. That dude has been in the bathroom for a few minutes now so he is definitely doing his daily evacuation. For all I know he does it multiple times. Not my concern. Or is it? Am I unduly and perversely concerned with this individual’s bowel mocement activities? He just reemerged from the shitter. Good for him. Another day’s shit flushed away.
I mean when I enter a shared bathroom intending to take a dump and see someone is sitting in a stall shitting I leave. I turn around. I have respect for the primacy and privacy of a man at shit. When I am at shit I do not want company. Many women have watched me pee, and one woman got me to pee on her. I didn’t mind those bits of sharing. But shitting? That remains a shameful, personal, and solemn affair. Leave me alone.
In college we were forced to have coed bathrooms. The college was trendy like that. It was claimed that if even one person objected to having coed bathrooms then there would be none. I would have objected but somehow I knew it would come back to everyone that I was the outlier, the one prude in the dorm.
