A topless woman was seen yesterday on Fulton street, just walking around, protecting her bald head from the sun with a flowery umbrella. I did a double take and abruptly looked away, chuckling at myself over the instantaneousness of the boner that arose and suddenly made itself uncomfortable in my work pants. I mean it could not have happened more immediately, it was as if I knew the breasts were going to be pendulously swinging before me and their appearance was just confirmation of a prearranged appointment. Heterosexuality at its finest? Or is it something depraved, and wrong? A man sees a half naked woman and gets a boner. What an awful place masculinity has come to in this year of 2024.
As far as I know it is still legal in New York State for women to be topless in public. I imagine she might have had issues upon entering a grocery store or other business, where they could arbitrarily enforce their own dress code to suit their business image. But in public, on the streets and sidewalks, she was perfectly within her rights. I don’t envy a woman that privilige. I see shirtless men more often than I probably realize, but culturally they are not dipping into the same risk factor that a woman takes when donning her top. The attentions she gets are probably of the wrong kind.
I thought about relating this anecdote to co-workers but, of course, I opted out. I’m not going to tell these peeps “I got an instant erection!” I should click around to see if she is a common sight around here. I turned away and crossed the street but she crossed the street as well. For a few moments we were walking side by side, awkwardly, as my memory flashed back to an incident on Barnett Avenu in Queens. A far less populous spot compared to Fulton Street, with virtually no one else around a young woman attempted to adjust her shirt, accidentally letting one of her ample breasts burst into view. I might have not even glanced at her if she had not let out a little yawp. She was embarrassed, clearly, but turned that reaction into a scowl, as if I was the pervert here for accidentlly seeing a woman’s breast flop out of her shirt. As if I summoned this vision or had any kind of control over it. I thought of making a joke about it, to make her feel better. But anything I said would have been stupid.
