_It,had .been abandoned a few years ago*. - .. , ... TLet’s.go lor a. jay ride I"she whispered as If the whole ...eWorld, were listenings -.. 7:_, " "hati'.'I burst out. "A joy rideil 'no,.you steal a van,tale It cruising;around town and...." _____. v.^.______ .. _/ ______________________________ L . "I know what a joy ride is,you don't have to explain to me. Why,though?"I said quickly. . ,. ‘ - MBecausc,if we can't stay in that restaurant,we should be 7 able to. have some fun,right?" 7'■» I have to. admit,her words did make me cogitate,for a change-. I thought about how that wierd guy just kicked us out of the ire : .without saying; please .The name of the place turned me on even more.The. restaur aunt was called, "Joy Ride. "That convinced me to get into the van.I .couldn't drive,so I left that to her,who didn't know how to drive either.It was still day light,and I convinced her to wait until dark.That way, no one could see our faces . and we wouldn’t have to worry about any relatives seeing us.. Some witling who owned the van left the keys under the sunshade,, and after dark,we drove off into the darkness.I didn’t want to. be there,I didn’t want to be in on stealing a vantand most of all,I knew I would feel guilty about it later.I’d say to myself, "What did you do that fo.r?Idiot I You just broke a commandment and you knew, it you mentally defective.That was that for?"But I also, knew that I was going to have a riotous time,even if I ,am sinning.I guess this is the joys and rewards -of sin and the .pains of sin both in action at the same time.I knew that Paula didn’t care, if she liquidated everyone in Tampa.All she wanted to do was have a good time.. .. .After it got dark,it seemed to me like she wa.s turning into. a vampire or something.She looked at me and smiled from ear to ear.When she did that,her teeth seemed to glitter in the moonlight like sparklers.lt made me want to tear this van through evQ.ry building in town.Paula had a way of doing that to almost everyone,which is why she usually gets what she v/ants all the time.All I could think about while I wasn't under her spell was t

that I was only In the.ninth grade,and I was stealing someone's van and taking it around town.I'm not saying that there's a right age for stealing vans,hut I'm not.the person to do this sort o.f stuff.I guess it's what going into high, school is al I ahdut,having dishonorable fun.. _1 __ Like I was saying,it finally got. dark,and Paula smoothly drove us out of the parking; lot to a main road.I was holding on for dear life from the beginning.It seemed like everything was. happening all of a sudden this summer,and if I got killed before it was over,then I wouldn't know what, to do.I guess it wouldn't matjter,because I'd already have joined the coffin chamber and I' d have no.thing to worry about. I could just feel that her going on the main road was a mistake as soon as she got on it..When I saw the trouble-she had remaining in one lane,I got a little weak.After a while,she got off the road and on to a side road that went God know's where. She wasn't expecting very much .traffic hack there,so she could kick up some dust.and not leave a trail of bodies in her path. Boy,were we both, surprised.when the road opened up into a clearing. That wasn't the worst part,there was this .guy and this girl kissing each other on the hood.of their car,and they must not haye heard the .van until.we honked the horn,because when we were abcjut twenty feet away from them,they decided to move out of the way.I closed my eyes and waited for the impact of the car and the people.When it didn't happen,I opened my eyes, to see what was going on.Paula was screaming her pee brain out because the entire van hit something and completely lifted off from the ground.When I got dumb, enough to open my eyes,I saw a couple of birds, in their nest that weren'.t doing what you'd like them to. be doing.We must have been sixty feet off the ground.I figured ..., — — 1 ^ that I was gonna die anyway,so I'd .stick my head out the window to: see how. high we were off the ground.This reminded me of a time when I was riding a school bus in the third grade.1 stuck my head out the window and it nearly got seared off by an anten^^ nae that didn't stop to see if I was. all right.I don't know why I was thinking of a third grade bus ride at a time like this,

an idiot.Ho's gonna hate being married,because he never wants to do anything for anyone,and when he does,he feels bad about it for a long time ..I don't know why either.I usually feel good when I do nice things for people ..Anyhow, Linda Schotte Is a real ding-bat,which is probably why she thinks William is so smart.Once.,she had a choice between taking,a trip to Disney World or Cypress Gardens,.and she took Cypress Gardens because she thought she'd learn ©mething. We asked her,'Why would you. go on a vacation to learn something.?' and she didn't answer.She thought we were making fun of her,which was when William did the first nice thing for her that he ever did;he told everyone to shutup•That took a lot of guts too..for him,it's like riding: a bike for the first, time,which was probably easier.But Linda's is pretty-stupid..Like everyone,she has her goo.d moments,but not very often.'When she does,everyone notices because she makes such » a big. deal of it.Once,she solved a two-minute mystery and couldn't stop smiling about it.She even told the teacher about it which made the entire class crack up.Even Dan Preston,who never laughs at anything.Don Preston isn't that smart either,but he always says,'Who. needs brains today?'and everyone reservaes comment on that.He look like a loser,but shacked everyone when he shat seven straight foul shots in a row .The school record is 6^9 y but that never stopped Don. from acting like an idiot about it.When he got into class,he started diagramming a mathematical analysis of his foul shots and how they worked.He enver finished because Mrs.Jones tore it up thinking it was a picture of a sailboat.Don hangs a-round with us coq.He wasn't wierd or unusual in any way and di.dn' t have any peculiar hobby like everyone else did,which makes me wonder why he hung around us for so long.Everyone else was ,wierd in one way or another.William was so smart, academically at least,that no one ever came close.Linda was so. all around dumb that no one could possibly believe it unless. they ever came close to her dumbness.Don wasn't too smart, but it. wasn't anything to get worried about.Don's girlfriend,

Wendy CrossTwas so great looking that some guys couldn't get away from her at par ties, whir h was what gave Don a pretty wim- py reputation because he never did anything about it when all the lonely guys at the party went after, her drooling.He couldn't help it either,but. no. one makes mention of it any more.,and neither does he.They don't .make a good pair,at least physically,.because he's pretty ugly,and she's so great looking. She says he's a great guy, but no one,.in eluding me seems to understand.To each his own-I guess ..But that's why t Wendy is unusual, because she's so great looking ..Reggie Wilks is one of these super atheletes who. does great in every sport. Besides that,he gets above average grades*I -can't stand him on any kind of playing field,.but he's really a nice guy other- wise.There isn't anything bad to say about him,but there cer- tain tly isn't, any super-great things to talk about either. Once,he almost destroyed me in a capture the flag game„He ran right over me.I guess that's because he's six feet tall. He doesn't have any enemies,and he' s even very likable, so I like him too,He hangs around with a girl named Susan Mont- gomery, They* re not going together or anything,but they make a pretty good show of it,She's just as tall as he is,which is the only thing they have in common.She's really a nice girl,The problem is,.she' s ni.ee to everybody,.and no one really appreciates it when she gets: really personal with them when they talks to them,but forgets about, it later because she just discusses someone's lifetime la ter,.which is too much to. remember, so she say s.I used to hand around her too,but got tired of it because she was such a pain in the- neck.You can't talk to her because she never stops talking,She's perfect, for Reggie Wilks,because he never starts talking. Susan is unusual,because shetakes showers fully clothed in P.E. I have to tell you. about when I met Paula Dixon,who. also hangs around the rest of us.We' re- not going together,but we both act like it,.which can be more fun then going together for real.When. I went to’ a soccer game at the stadium for the

the first time without my parents,I went with the rest o.f my gang,or group,or whatever .you call it.Then, there were only seven of us.We were minus Paula ..She didn't even go to our school yet.I was the only guy who wasnrt with a girl,and I felt kind of wierd because everyone else was having a great time,and I wasn11.'Then,when I, wasn't expecting; it,Paula,who I didn't know yet,walks up behind me and tells me I'm the cutest and sexiest guy in the world. (As if I didn't already know that),Well, that' s what set us .bath off on our relationship .I conned her into going, to my school,.which was hard,because everyone in ray school has a reputation for being a lit-tla queer.I don't know why,but I'm glad I'm going into high schoolnext year,and I won't have to concern myself with paranoia like that any more.(What a joke-I'm going to an . all boys high school.Think of -the results of that!) So that' s howTmet Paulal^xon.Row~the~whale gangsgoes| to soccer games and movies and to the mall all the time.It's so much fun.The best time we went to a soccer game was when everyone got. lost.Don & Linda were the .first to get from our clutches when they went to the bathroom and. we never saw them, come out.We sent someone in the John's to see what the problem was,and they couldn't find the moron's.To their great surprise,this was Reggie and Susan,no one was visible when they came aut.They were looking for the rest of the group all throughthe game,but wouldn't have any luck until later on. Me and Paula we re lost like little kids..We could never find the signs that said, where we were,.and when we did,we'd get lost again because we didn't, know where we weref going ar what, wewere doing.When we heard our names, on the P.A. system,we nearly freaked, out because we .didn't knaw where the information desk was.I doubt anyone in our little clan knew where the seats were in this monster stadium.One thing everyone agreed on was where the field was;:we all knew( it was in the middle ..Everyone was totally and completely lost,and we didn't find each other until the game was all the way over and everyone left.We got to talk about where we

got .lost.Reggie and Su-san had a marvelous story about how they gol lured into the press box by the radio announcer who was calling the game on radio.(?)Reggie said they talked on the radio, and warned their mother's that they would prob- ably be late going home.The backup announcer was anxious to give them a tour of the press boxes and have them meet, all the newspaper reporters.I tried to imagine how thrilling that must have been,but I cauldn11.Newspaper men struck me as extremely boring; and one tracked;mind-wise, that Is.But I didn't tell them that they sounded like they had a dull time compared to Don &Wendy..Don & Wendy managed to get lost in the locker rooms right before half-time.That way they got hooted out before there was any other sign of life Inthere. After that.,there was a half-time show,which no one saw,luck- ily, in which Don & Wendy were the unscheduled main attract- ion.When they went down the elevator from the locker room:, they, walked right into a little red cage.They hadn't an 1- dea what was happening when the cage started -floating, and moving; up toward the field.After about two seconds, ther saw that they were in the firemans cage on a. fire, engine.Wendy began screaming; her head off, and Don was. preparing: to jump off when they suddenly came into the light of the huge sta- dium lights that lit up the entire stadium.Then,they complete- ly froze.The fire engine was on the field because the owner of the team had a reputation for making unusual entrences, and this was one. of them.There was never supposed to be any—1 one on the cage, so they didn't interrupt any thing,but a few people did notice,and they made quit a fuss about it.Don tried to think of a wise comment to say to- Wendy,hut was un- successful.Don wasn't, quite sure about thimgs up there,and he couldn't help farting the whole time he was up there. Wendy was going, completely nauseous In the gross fumes of the fire, engine and the natural disasters happening inside, of Don Preston.When,at long last,they did get off the fire en- gine,, they were almost kicked out of the stadium for distur- bing the peace of the game.The police got burned when they

remembered that there was no peace in this, stadium.Wendy couldn' t. get aver haw the cage just started floating away with them in it.She thought it was neat because they both just walked out of the elevator and were instantly carried away by this monster of a vehicle.Don said it was like rid- ing the waves at the beach,but it was even better,even though he didn * t think it was too. greta at the time. "What was that thing doing there anyway?Anybody could have just gotten off the elevator and walked right, on that thing just like we did...It was funny though."That* s what Dan. told us,trying to make us believe he didn't have a great time up there.I don't, remember seeing him up ther,but I do re- member seeing the fire engine roll out ontthe field.I hon- estly thought he was lying,and so was Wendy,but I didn't say anything.,at least not to them.Later on,I told Reggie., but. he seemd spaced-out at the time,so I don't think he ever heard me.WhenReggie was spaced out,which was: often,he was un- reachable .He was probably lying too when he said he went in- to the press, boxes.That's the stupidest story I've ever heard him concoct.Once he told us he swallowed his big toenail,but that it grew right back the next day .It's things like that +b make me doubt Reggie.I told the truth.Paula and I spent the entire .time .looking for everyone else,which was difficult when everyone' s in the press boxes and riding .fire trucks. William and Linda probably told the truth when they said they went, looking for everyone else and even paged everyone over the loudspeaker.I heard the P.A. system call everyone's najre,but that didn't, prove anything.I didn't believe Wil- liam' s story .It sounded too honest for him to say that.And besides that,Linda and him were giving each .other some funny looks as if to say,'Should we tell them?'I guess I thought they were, both lying because deep down,I don't really trust either one of them.I'11 bet they'd be delighted to hear that..^^ William lost my respect when I found him stealing from the substitute. teacher.He thought he'd be important.I sure did- n't. think so.I don't know why I don't, trust her„but j sure

don't.I think together,they'd make a great crime team.I'm sure they'd both love me for that.. re? I You.'re Interested in knowing about me?Well I'll tell you about me.I'm Mark Thomas.I fantasize a lot.Sometimes about unprintable things,but usually about normal, native things-like being the hero who saves the beautiful princess from the ferocious-. drago.lL.I know I'll probably never be a hero to anyone,but I like thinking of it.I consider myself pretty mart,but not any genius.I could be a straight A student,but I don't think it's worth it to kill yourself over something; that- won't matter all that much after a few years ,or even days.trades are important to me,but they by no. means come first in my mind when I get to school.I think I'm different that way because most people are so; concerned •about their grades that they forget, what their tests are a-bout or something like that..Some kids get pressured into .studying good and getting all A's,but, I'm not,and no one thinks I'm stupid.Since grades aren't so important to me,I normally don't listen to teachers.Sometimes I do it just to show them how much their stupid lectures help me.I do all right by just reading the chapter over before the test ..That way,the teacher thinks I studied hard,but I hardly had any idea what was going on for most of the semester.. I like to think a lot.Most people think I'm high all the time because I never talk to anybody anymore ..I used to talk so much I couldn't stop myself,,but not any more.I don't know why I say I think a lot,but I get the feeling, I do,even if I don't.I think I listen to things more clearly now then I used to when I was younger.I'm only fourteen now,but I'm ready to face the world.I can't wait to get to college.lt'11 be so much fun because I don't know why,it just will be ..Why should anyone my age think of college now anyway?Next year I start high school ..I can't wait, to see what it's like.Some people say it's a lot. of fun,and others say it's hell in disguise.I think that the people that like high school were the ones like me that, are interested in having a guod time

and rot so much in getting good grades and pleasing chc teacher.lt's not as .if having; a great time inhibited anyone's academic3,,out you ..ever anon. ;u.vin.; tne last quarter of the eighth grade,I got two 95%'s in my favorite teacher's class. I guess that goes to show that it's hard to hand a paper in to someone you don't like►It seems like at the end of the year,I did better in everything,and I didn't even seem to notice what was going on. I wear glasses,.which will someday drive me crazy because I van never takethem off except when I go to bed,I play soc- cer with them,I run in them, I' m surprised I don't swim in them.One of these days,.!' 11 be able to wear permalenses, tJ^e kind of lenses that you can wear all the time..Oh well. I really enjoy being with friends,especially when there are no adults around to make sure we don't talk dirty.If there's one thing; i hate it's an aduilt that thinks they're on top of the world and that kids are really low life.The best time anyone could show me would be to just sit around and not feel like you're under pressuure to have to say some- thing intelligent,but you do anyway.I'm always having vis- ions of me and three or four other people hanging around af- ter a big party and just conversing: about something.lt's bet- ter with a lot of people because there's always someone read- y to, say something.lt' s not always a brilliant statement,but it ma,kes for a constant flow.It never happens to me that of- ten where I get to lull around like that,.but I wish it did. I'm unusual in my little group because I can play the piano, while no one else I know can.I'm the only guy I know that plays it,so I consider myself odd that way. I like the people I hang around with,but I don't see. them all enough .-When I do see them,.we all have a pretty good time,.whatever we're doing^In high school,,we all think we're gonna have a great time,but I don't see it^at least not for me,It seems like a lot goes on at my school, that I don't know about.I'm interested in finding out what goes on after school lets out,but I'd feel idiotic asking someone,

and it's very hard finding out by listening to people talk a bout it.I guess I'm a bit out of it,and I'm not ashamed to -say so,I wonder what other people do during the summer? I'll bee they do eore onciting things then I do, out L won't make any guesses at that,because when I'm wrong aboutwhat ony-O' '-ho 1j-Lmg, omemyyo o yells rt a- if it wore .y fault there's nothing to do around here,and I shouldn't think a- uu : - ' .: o o e ' I t. o ot o ' it ; o tool es when si rb: o else os do. aoh; -.1 : ' ever write a bock though,I haven't got the patience or the experience to fill a book with,'.’/hen I get older,,I might get o 1 01 , . . : o t yet, : . o v -o o ins you uoo to do to be a dec-ent writer is to listen to things as you. hear them,and then remember them later.I got that from someone who was on a show on cable TV.She was a writer-di- Ov.oos- o o'. -- oo .mouse-. ! ; ■ - , buc not while she was on the tube.She was an interesting character,.though,.but I'll bet her parents have disowned her by now.It was a wierd program because by the end of the show, os 0 oo’ one section of one audience yel l.yj iskn- oosa-laosu, and the other side of tbe audience was yelling Tooka-Takka- Teeeee.Ther:, the rest of the audiece was. saying Tinka-Tonka- Tooooo.It was pretty neat watching all -these people swaying; to the rhythym and saying strange things,but I guess you had to be tbere. After the eighth grade was over,..we had-a big party to close out the year.The party wasn't really that exciting,but I told the girls that threw It it was good.After the party, My parents didn't come to pick me up because they thought it was over -at twelve,but it was over at eleven,so I thought .b I'd end up waiting around until midnight for my mom to res- cue me..Luckily,there wasa phone around, so I called up and was saved.But when 1 got picked up,I wanted to stay around because I was having, a great time just talking to the people that were, waiting for me to leave.I never thanked them for wat ti ng around Trike that,but I should have,because tbey prob—

ably hate me for it now,but they really were fun to just talk to..That reminds me,I have to go to a party that Dan and Wendy are giving for just her closest friends.That includes evemne in my little gang.Luckily,she didn't invite anyone from other schools.,because I hate it when someone does that. When other people come to these things,they usually do things that make the party boring.I have to leave now,but I'll be back.This should be fun. The party was the biggest bare I've ever seen*I had to act like I liked it or I'd face the terrors of Wendy Cross being mad.All anyone did was talk to each other about stu- pid things.After the party was the worst part.All of us were in a carpoal except for Paula Dixon.She had to leave early with her father.I thought the end would be the best part .be- cause all of us would sit around waiting for about an hour for the two cars to pick us up. Someone managed to disconneot^^ the phones so we couldn't call.7/e were all sitting: around for about five minutes when I realized they were all making out while I was talking.Since this was a public place,no one's parents were hanging around.I looked at the clock and saw that I had a half hour to wait for my ride to get here.There were two cars coming to get us,and they were both coming at the same time,so I couldn't get on the early ride for sure. Sa I walked out-, in the. moonlight end waited. "Where are those bastards?"I said a§ unsarcastical^ as I could.I didn't want anyone, to hear me,so It didn't seem, very loud,but I was in an area where everything you said was carried far a few thousand feet*T felt out of placd^^ for the first time I was around these people*! guess it's because Paula wasn't there.If she was there,oh,I guess it doesn't matter,they're still my friends.I wonder if they heard me in there. I called Paula the next day ..She felt so sorry for me that she insisted we both go to the mall together and for- get about all those other people.This was going to be a great day.She set the date for tomorrow,and even though I

said no,she insisted th she pay for everything,I can't figure her out,If this had happened any other day,she'd have shrugged it off and said she was sorry for leaving,I guess friends aren't supposed to be figured out,but I don't, know wViaf on bo t.Viov»r>o t-Vioi-o fm- ovpont to just be there,I don't That' worry- show up, found out she _i—x. t for _ ________ I'm negative about everythin^^i^fl^ The next week,.she called me and told me to meet her at the mall in ten minutes.I got there in six minutes*and she took ten and a half,I didn't bring any money,but she said she'd pay for everything anyway,This was supnosed to be a compensation for last week,It was already eight-thirty when I got there(I walked) „and I didn-'t know how long I'd stay there,I start ed to wonder what Reggie was up to now,but I changed my mind and thought about what in the world Paula had in store for me.I knew she wasn't old enough to drive,,but I didn't think about that when she dragged me into someone elses van.We went on a joy ride all over town in some poor person's van,.It was a really sorry van,.and I doubt the owner will miss it,Paula was screaming and yelling while I was holding to for dear life.After a while,I started laughing about the whole thing.The back door was flapping open and about sixty people had already shot us an assortment of harjd and face, gestures that. Rev.Falwell would consider a sacrelig.As soon as we. got in the van the first time,every- ~fr foni wrr? Tl-rili*^

thing happened like, this: We gat. in the van,and. I asked her what was going on* She, said,'We're goin' on a joyride honey'and I said oh* We. hauied booty out of the parking lot of the. Burdines store and got on the main road:,which I thought was a mistake,.but it tunned out all right when she got off and literally sailed right down an empty street and found our way on the interstate bound for Lakeland*Since there was no one there, we were able to drive over the median and head back to civilization *Wher we gat back was when the fun really started* We waltzed through a parking lot and couldn't stop the van when there was a slight,.about five feet tall,hill.I thought the van would just fly right over that,but when we hit the bump„we went sailing through the air lika missle and would • have landed in a pile of barrels if Paula didn' t know how to drive so good..V/hen we landed,,there was a huge pile of empty barrels that were just barely visible, in the night* As soon as they came, into view,she. twisted the life out of the steering wheel and only hit the back of the van* e both looked back to see what went wrong back there, and were shocked like, sockets when we saw that one of the back doors was completely gone and the other one was flapping wildly in the wind*"Go> close it."she said to me* "Close it?I"i said franticalLy.When she didn't say anything back to me,I figured she was serious,.so I crawled back to the door and nearly slid right out the hack when she put the pedal, down even farther then before-.That made her laugh her pee brain out, for some reason*.fhere was no way I could get the door closed,so I insisted she stop and let me fix it.After a while,! got it so it wouldn't open again,and that's when I heard sirens in the distance*.We, were both scared stifif, and not afraid to say so*We both got back where we were sitting before,and I was getting ready to experience G-force*. When the van didn't move,Iturned to her and said,‘Let's gol!' and she said,'Not until you fasten your safety belt!* I looked at her in amazement,and she started cackling.

"It isn't funnyll!Y'ou got me into this,and you're getting me outr"I was mad,and I didn't want to be,I was having a great time,and I still don't know wjy I got so mad,The police were getting closer,so- we decided we'd better get moving or else get in an aweful lot of trouble.We moved like missiles into the darkness,She didn't have any idea of where we were headed,or if -we would ever get out of ttfris situation. We whipped down a road that diin't have any lights on it. Only one of the lights on the van worked right,,and even that didn't work right,but it was. the only light there was. She was sweating and I was swearing as we realized the polace car wasn't after us,.It passed us quite swiftly and didn't even have second thoughts about us,.She seemed to think that was funnybut I wasn't at all amused by this whole thing,I.f the owner of this van had found it missing yet,he' d probably be mad as hell and wouldn't hold anything, back,What if the owner wasa big hairy guy that kills people in his spare time and he wanted our skulls for taking his van,What if he carried a gun in his hack pocket and was stalking out the kids who, took his van,I*11 bet he wears chains and uses them on people to show them a thing or two. about everything,I *11 bet, when we get back,he* 11 be waiting; for us to come back so he could strangle both of us and give us to our parents and say,,'Here they are,'Then our parents would give us to a foster home and never collect; on the adoption fee,I*11 bet that's what's gonna happen,.Oh C'MON!!!That isn't about to happen and I know it.we»re not returning • this van anywhere near that parking lot, Paula swerved around and sped back to town trying to think of a place to dump the van,We were both trying to think of a good idea for this one,but couldn't think of anyplace that hasn't already been used a thousand times before,Then,, she finally thought of a good idea,'We'11 leave it in the middle of town where no one'll be looking for it.I'11 bet no, one even, knows it's missing yet,we've only been gone for an hour

yet„and that.'s. not. that long.Let's leave it in, back of your house and say we found it there!1 , '"You're really crazy,y'mo that?" "Ya mean that's a bad idea?" "It sucks.Let's just leave it somewhere and get a taxi home." "Oh-all right,you sure are dull though." We left the van near a lake and just walked away from it as I waved a cab down., That, was for sure an exciting night ►Somehow, I got back home rught when I said I'd be ho,e.All night I thought about the way the van just shot through the air that one time and how close. I was to being; all over the road.lt was such a blast because after that,the back doors went. wild.I still don't jE -. know where the other door is,but it'll probably stay where it is now for a very long time. That night,I had a dream about another way the ride could.have gone.We started out driving at a normal speed,but as we progressed,Paula began growing fangs,and she was driving faster and faster,but I couldn't do anything about it because I was chained to the seat with six dogs watching me... When we came to the little bump in the road,we went over it. and just glided through the air for miles and miles not knowing if we would ever land again.or nit.That was when her fangs realfy began to come out like real vampire fangs.Then she turned to me and tqld me to.close the door or else she was going to kill me*When I went, back to .close the door,we were still in the air and not about to land.The dream was strang.e bacause when. I woke up,I felt like I had really been flying. Before I woke up,the yan was about to run into a huge cloud made uf iron.We were going ,to run into it,but I woke up.It made me wonder if the whole happening was just a dream or not. I never realized what a spastic Paula Dixon is.Before this,she was always a regular tempered girl,but not any mara. I don't kno,w if I'll ever look at her the same again after this little incident.I wish I had a friend Tkt I could rea__

lly trust all the time and not Just mast of the time.I'm going; to forget about the entire thing: and pretend it never happened* 1 never noticed' it. before,.but most of my friends act more mature around a lot of people»I don't know why,but it Just, seems to happen that way,Idon't know if I do that.* I' 11 have to watch myself the next time I'm around everyone*1 only say that because when Paula was with me in the van,she was acting Just like a kid,which is, I guess,.what she is,but she doesn't usually act like that around everybody else*I wonder why? . - I guess it's about two months until I start high school* I can hardly wait,but I'm sure I'm going to-hate it*I'm go- ing to a private.,.all boys school.I already know a lot about the school,so it*'s not like I'm going: to an unknown terrain. It'll probably be a lot. of fun,but you never know.I'm not going to be able to Join any clubs because I have to go to -this school of music after school every day,I guess that knocks out all the clubs I wanted to Join.With this thing going, on every day,J'm not gonna be able to do anything at all.Everyone knows that everything happens after school is out.I don't, know if this music, thing will be any- good or not.I guess my opinion of it depends on how many zillions of clubs I won't join.This promises to be a crappy four years from my point of view ..I don't know how much I'll see of all my buddies during: high school.The girl.s are. all going to an all girls high school across town,so I probably won't, see much of them either.I don't know what to expect from this school.,but I think I'll be happy for going there after I leave.Most of the kids in my class are going there too.One guy's going to. another school because he wants to streak through the girls high school as an initiation into some club.All the other guys that aren't, going to my school are going to public high schools,Two months is a long time to wait to go to something you've been waiting for for most of your life .High school.High school.I love that word.High school.

I'.m trying, to imagine what the rooms there look like.I've already seen them a thousand times,but I hardly remember anything about them.They were big rooms.Bigger then the ones at my other school,which isn't saying much.I remember one w thing: about all the, rooms there and that's that they were -all air conditioned,unlike my other school,.which had com- pletely inoperable cooling systems,and the school was too. cheap to fix them.I'm glad this school I'm going: to uses the money they have for the pleasure of the students.My other school's principal refused to let anyone spend more then twenty dollars on a field trip,Even then,we had to pay for everything.That school never payed for a single field trip we, went on.Not even for the gas used in the busses.We had to pay for everything.I'm glad I'll never have to go back to that place.High school.Hi.gh school.I just love that word. . I never get spoken, to anymore.lt used to be I'd get spo-^^ ken to all the time.Nowadays,I only get talked to.I'm seri- ous.You. caji't listen to someone that's talking to you.You. can hear them,but you can't listen to them.You can't listen to a teacher bacause they only talk, to you.To talk to some- one means to deliver a series of facts or to explain same- thing.But. to speak to someone,now that's different.. When you speak to someone,you*re giving truths on life,or you're tell- ing the real truth about so me thing. You' re not talking: about facts and you're not explai ni ng something.If you've just been spoken to,you remember what you heard.You could write an interesting storyline about someone who. speaks to you, but not about someone that talks to you.To write about some—^^ one that, talks is to write an answer to a test question.Teach- ers are the #li talkers.They try to speak to you and have you learn the stuff at the same time,but it gets sorry results. I can't learn anything from a talkie teacher.When a teacher tries to speak-talk,everyone thinks he's crazy.I can't wait until. I ge t spoken to again. That * 11 be something to remem- ber for a long, time,I try to speak to people,but I usually don.'t. have any luck because no. one wants to. be spoken to.

Once,I tried speaking to. Linda Schatte.I didn't have any luck.But then again*she never listens to anyone either* so. I'm not the first .Someone has to speak to me or I'm gonna croak* - . -=r- 1 «r-»o i; ’ rW' * A' * 1 - -- ' - • - _ I hate summers bacaose there's never anything to da; ex- cept sit around all day and watch TV.You think that's fun? Lately,I've been writing a lot of stories.I plan to use them during high school,w ich is really pretty cheap,but I'll never tell the dumb teachers there a thing.I still think I could write a book,but I'm not sure yet because I haven't taken in enough experiences yet.I don't know what I'd write a book ahout*but I'm sure that when lido write a book,it'11 be good.I kjow I write long; stories,and so does, everyone else I know.Whenever someone sais to write a short para- graph about something*! usually end up writing a few pages* Because of that*I don't think I'll have any tjroublewriting a book.I have a few zillion promises from people who said they'd buy my first book,but I doubt any of them will even remember my name*. Yesterday was the ultimate in boring days.I sat around all day feeding pencils that said;Hear the word of God and do, It.Do- what?I said,but no one was there.The name of the Church was Mennoni.te,which sounds like a Saturday morning cartoon that follows something like 'Gods of Gore.* I never get up early enough to see any more, car toons.I probably wouldn't, watch them even If I did get up in time.They*re. all the same. Being 14 isn't as much fun as it sounds.Whenyou're four- teeujyou can't drive,you can't, get in: R mo vies, you can't do much of anything.You know that you could handle a dirty mo- vie,but no one believes you.There's a few things you can u- sualiy get away with like getting into an amusement park without an adult.That isn't the greatest thing,but it's a start.I used to. think I could pass as an adult,but realized how stupid that really was.In about a year,I*11 probably be

able to get into S mo vie s.If I can't,then I*11 just have to wait until I am old enough,! think the reason no one let's us see R movies is because a few teenagers couldn't handle one,An R movie is just like a trashy novel,.out worsebecause yiu actually see what's going on,I can handle almost any movie around,.If I told any of my teachers about that,,they'd dye laughing: before they believed me.,I'm mostly thinking: o;f my homeroom: ?th grade teacher,She. was one of these adults who thought that if you. weren't a great athelete,you weren't any thing. She always thought that kids were, immature,, no matter how hard they tried not to be,She made, me so sick sometimes; because she'd Laugh at me when I was trying to. be serious,She did that to everyone,It* s teachers like her that make me despise all grade school teachers,1Aost of my grade* school, teachers were too immature to handle the job,I can think of one teacher,Mrs,Alvin,who was a good teacher,She had been in the business for a long time and knfew what she was: doing; more then any of the other teachers,I say that because she could handle students voicing themselves better then any of the other teachers,I think she was the only teacher that had any control over us,She should have been teaching high school, and not this stuff,My eighth grade homeroom teacher was the worst teacher I've ever experienced in . my life,She wasn't even supposed to be a teacher,She majored, in business or something like that in college,I don't think one person in tfrat school liked her in any way,I know I did-n't,If I ever saw her again,I'd probably run,I*11 bet when I gro,ew up and get famous somehow,every teacher I ever had will say,'I taught him everything he knows,'When I am famous, it*11 be because I'm a good writer,and Mrs,Alvin can take the credit for that. The better part of this summer will probably be spent watching stupid movies on TV,'The Brain Eaters'is on later today,but I think I'll pass on that,I always wanted to watch

so poorly developed.There was this one movie,! forgot the title,hut it started out the. way it ended,with six peoples; skulls thrown all over a wall.There was no plot, to the movie at all,which was. probably why I sat through the whole thing. Some movies have such deep plots: that it1 s hard to follow them .Tomorrow, though, a classic thriller l.s on.it* s called, ' Attack of the Combs.'It promises; to be good. I'm not going to say anything until the summer is over.

I finally decided to go to the.mall today ..It1s not that I'm afraid to go ant there.,I'm Just lazy.I haven't been to this, kail yet, so, I think I'm in for a surprise or two .The last time I went to a mall I hadn't been to,I got lost in the public bathrooms and couldn't get. out for three hours. I was thinking o.f being lost in the bathrooms on the way over and it reminded me of the time I went to that soccer game with the gang and we all got lost.That was such fun,but to this day, I cant get over the way William and Linda were discussing what, they di d.I 'm talking about when we were telling each other where we got lost,and william and Linda had to secretly talk about what they were going to tell us.I hate to have to say that I don't and never will trust William or Linda.But that was such a small event in all the years we knew each other,I wonder why I remember it?I imagine there's some psychological reasoning behind that,but I would have to figure it out,and I don't want to bother... The mall here is really nice.It's so wide open it makes you feel like you're outside..There is this one store there that makes me feel wiercE.lt isn't Just the black lights that make my clothes glow,and it isn't Just the lady clerk that stuck my face in her shirt..The wierdest thing about the store is that there are real spiders climbing; around In the deling along with some fake one s. I guess they're there to make you think the fake ones are real.Since there were nets below all. of them,it really didn't matter ^unless one of those king sized spiders decides to drop a turd on me through the screen.When I though o.f that,I left the store.I don't even think they sell anything in that, store.I think It's Just a gimmick.I guess I should have been expecting that in Chicago. I was. so piped up after I left that, place that I decide-d it was time, to sit down* and have a drink of something;.I wasn't in the mood for anything alcoholic,so I got myself a coke that tasted like spin a ch. I was just about to leave the mall, when I saw a face, in the crowd I thought I recognized.I was-

around and showed me his face again.His hack was familiar too, but there are a million backs that look like hi s.The mall sud- denly gat crowded enough so that I couldn't run through it. I just had to be patiant and walk as fast as possible.He. ran quite a routine.He walked in and out of thirty-eight stores before he stayed in one long enough to find out what kind of store it was.That was characteristic of somebody I know-but who?I can't remember his name.At last,he turned a- round enough for me to see his face. "William Scottiii"I yelled out loud like a dingbat.He • ♦ turned my way and saw me. "Mark ThomasJ?Is that you?"he said disbelievingly. "Sure it isi"I said flapping my arms around knocking- peoples packages over and making people think I was wierd. "I don't believe it 1 He said loudly .We bo/th started walk-^^ ing slowly, toward each other as we tiled to remember each other's faces.He looked so old.It's only been ten years, haw could he. have aged so. much?Oh yeah,It's been fifteen years."Where have you been ya aid bastard you?" "I've been around.What*re you doing in Chicago?You don't live here do you?" "No. way do I live here.I almost got mugged three, times since I've been here,which is two weeks.I live in California.. What have you been doing?" "Oh,not much...."We went on for hours talking about old times.It was nice meeting him.We left the mall and went walk- ing around Chicago like coinnessures of fine cities.He in- sis ted he show me the place that he hangs out in this city. It was. a rather quaint,but nice bar in the middle of town. We must have been in that bar all night,but I don't know,I wasn't keeping; track of time.After a while,which was about seven hours,I eased into what was really bothering me. "William-you remember the time we went to that soccer game to celebrate high school graduation and everyone got last?"

"You bet I remember It.It was the biggest part of high sphoal." Yeah-well-I don’t mean to. be blunt,but,,! think you lied when you, said you were looking for, everyone else during the game*I think you. were doing; something else." "What 111..."he said madly."You mean to say that, my own friend doesn't believe me?Oh...that's terifficll tell ya^ these tearful reunions are way too, much for me to handle. You’ve been easing in to this, all night,.haven*t you?You1 re really something." He quit talking for a while and walked around the room trying to control himSel.f."Ya know what I think?I think you were lying, when you said you looked for everyone else.I've thought that, for years now. ..what happened that night Mark;? @0 on and tell me.No one's around.No one that cares at least." I was dismayed.and quailed.This made not a sliver of sense*Whp, does he think he is?Accusing me like: that without any build-up.Whot a jerkiMaybe I shouldn't have called his name when I saw him.It was too. late now..he had found out. i. . . . -. — •- . ■» - - - "Me, and Paula Dixon .were there together,and we didn't know what to do when we found everybody gone,so we left the stadium.,but we. were gonna come back-don't think we wanted to get rid of all of you.We kept our stubs, so v/e could get back in.We. had both just had our birthdays,and we decided we'd try to get into a bar or something.Paula Dixon,kept tugging on my Goddamn sleeve insisting we go to some half-ass bar that her parents raved about day and night.But meeee...1 gotta make Paula Dixon happy.She is a BITCH!I She con tinually stuck her ugly face in mine making me feel like some kind of kissing, pillo.w.How could I resist?She’s sooo sweet!So Goddamn sweet!She hauled me in and out of every Goddamn bar in town that she could in an hour-until finally-we get to her

bitchin' bar.GOD she was a bitch J She got me into this joint, and whether or not she liked it,she would get me out.This bar was the creepiest place I have ever seen in my entire fucked up. life.I thought that joint in i the mall would beat it,but it wasn't even close.At every table there were homo's, T.V.s and some people I. couldn't tell what they were.Every table in that place, had, some kind of life gain* on in it that made, them rack.But the tables shaking might have been, the. punk rock group on stage with mohawk haircuts jumping up and down an their fingers and hitting their haeds on the ceiling.That might be what made the tables shake.Or it might have been the people in the specially designed closets that were fucking the night away when they thought, no one was lodk-ing.That, might, have shook, the table s. May be it was Paula DjLxai jumping up and down in anger when I told her I wouldn't go with her in one of those closets that, shook the tables. Whatever it was.,I knowr. that Paula Dixon tried to lay me-a Catholic-in a dark room full of buffallo shit.What the hell was a bunch of buffallo shit doing in a backroom of a crappy bar like this?I guess the words of that question an swerXMX it right there."I was circling the tables in the bar while William Scott kept a fair distance from me thinking I'd twist his, skull out If I grabbed him.He was probably right. I never felt so: fierce in my life.I felt like A mad lion at-raeking the Christians, in me.de vil Rome .William, was eyeing me curiously,as if he thought I was lying. "You. hastsrdJYou think I'm lying,don't you?Well tell you what.I'll pick up this saltshaker,and I'll pick up this . empty glass,and I'll chuck It at your skull and smash both 1 of:-them all over the wall.How do you like that?HUHi 11C' mon you fagot,try something on me now.Make yourself sorry you asked me. what the hell happened that night.. She threw me in a room and tried to lay me.She didn't, get very far,but she remembered every second of it.We were in the corner of the room,but I don't think she knew where we

were,a cathouse or a allnight fastfood restaurant's bathroom sittLn' on the toilet*When I got rid of her claws,! stood up; and, tried to find my way through the pitch black room* I don't know what I was bumping into.,but I don't think I want to know*"I hopped up on the tables and threw myself at William,.This was a reenactment of what happened in that room,"Then,like, a Goddamn vulture,she jumped on me out of the dark.,I don't know what button I landed-on,but the door flipped right open,Now I could see that we were in a room that .was full of stuff like stereoes and speakers and shit like t; that, that someone stole, probably, I quickly found- out who stole It when-Paula Dixon,who1s cloths were over in the cor- ner rpointed out a tal].,monsterous sillhouetto standing in the doorway,The bitch rani Ii"As I said that,I ran across the room screaming and yelling all the way across.I stopped when I flew7 over the bar and smashed a few thousand years of scotch all over the wall,"I don't know how- the hell she got past that sonuvabitch,but she was out 'the front door of that bar before I had time to tell her to fuck-off,which is what she was doing now anyway,Now I saw that, this guy was in. business stealing liquor and drugs and just about everything that's ever been stolen,I looked up at the loom- ing figure,! couldn't see his face,.but I think it was just a little creepy,"I grabbed an unbroken bottle behind me and got ready to throw it across the room,"The next thing: I did was grab a liquor bottle that was laying around,and I threw it at him,"Then I threw the bottle across the room and just missed Williams face,I did that, about ten times,giving Wil- liam a monster of a scare,Then I reached under the counter and grabbed a towel,Then I turned on the fan in. the window. I threw the towel around my shoulders like a vampire and con- tinued with my act."That man was standing there like a tower while I>was scared shitless,He was standing there in the rnidt, or did I tell you?Paula & I kicked up. a lot of dust In there• There was. alight behind him made, him look like someone out of a low. budget horror film.Then,ho threw his arms, out and x>

spread his cape out."At that,I threw out my arms and Looked into,, the, fan,making; my towel-cape flap like a flag in the fan.The cigerrette smoke, made, far awesome smoke.The moon- light shoo tang through the window was the light behind me* ^ Now I looked just like the man in this room."I was scared shitless.I ran,or crawled across the room and grabbed a sword that was; just laying around.Lord knows where that got stouten from.I slowly enticed the black figure, as I eased my way around the walls of the room.I wanted to get, out the door.He didn't move when I did like I'd hoped he would.This FAGOT, .looked like DRACULA,and this, was all Paula Dixon’s; fault.I slowly comprehended my next move,when the fagot- bastard pulls out a knife and shines it in the. light*I guess he thought I was gonna tell, someone that I, had found this. room and, would tell the policeaahout it.Either that or he thought I was going to kill him,which is reason enough to ^ get, excited.This was straightput of a low-budget horror film,but it was even cheaper.Here,you get killed for free. Finally,I hauled ass at the man.It turned out to he nothing hut a Goddamned empty. cloakiA damn doak.lt was a Goddamn ghost,or a gimmick or something fucky like that.I. clobbered that thing,and I wept flying right out into the bar area. And y'no what...Every Goddamn person in the, joint was lagh- ing their balls off,Some j,oke..But my story doesn't end right there.No,.there' s, more.I ran out into the streets yelling for Paula Dixon."Istood up on the counter which I j.ust jumped over while acting out the last situation."Paula,Paula Dixon.Where are you?C'mon,let's talk.But y'no what I really ^ wanted to do?I wanted to ring her Goddamn necklThat's what I wanted to do.I wanted to throw hpr in the sewers and let the rats eat her till there's no more of her left.I wanted her dead.Ya hear me!?DeadJI stalked,the streets for forty- five. minutes calling her npme out so it echoed."Then I ran ^ outside and began calling her name in.the empty,midnight street...and it echoed."Finally,after enough time to settle down,she wearily climbed out of a window that I think she

was hiding in waiting for me. to pass.I wasn't mad anymore. .1 told her seated face, that we had to get back -to the soccer game before it was: over.She thought I was gonna kill her if she. gat within two feet of her.She was right,for a while. We got back to. the stadium just in time to not-be considered late: for the. end of the game."We both stood in the streets for - a few seconds thay seemed like, hours.I pictured myself as malestic in the moonlight.I didn’t care what he looked lie. He was standing behind me waiting for me to say something*. "I never told anyone about this in my life,I never even wrote it down on paper,and I write everything down on paper.I completely erased it from my mind fair fifteen years.Fifteen fuckin’ years..........I ’m fuckin ’ sorry I never believed you before.I guess we were never real, friends,were we?" "Whaddayamean?" v "What do: I mean? I mean that if we we re ever real friends, we'd have trust in each other,and we don’ t.Friends don't distrust eadher*. ,.Keither one of us believed each other.Par fifteen years we had doubts, about eachother.1 never had doubts about Linda or Don or anyone else.Why did I doubt .you? Why was I so stupid?Why were we so stupid?" "You knew me,,and I knew you...Better then anyone on this, earth we knew each other.Isn* t that reason enough?You didn' t really know anyone else except. Paula Dixon,and look at how much you. distrusted her.The greatest comparison of all could be the. doubts we have in. our own God.We know him,but we'll never quit discovering, him.The more you know Him,the more you. distrust him.That*s true too.I remember I never trusted my mother to. stick a pin an my shift,I was always afraid she’d tear my tit off.Look at how: well I know her and I couldn’t stand her stickin' pins- on my shirt*.I could always put up with someone I didn't know putting a pin on my shirt, but why would a total stranger tear my tit off. ?I know you like the back of my hand and I don’t trust the ground you walk. on.What do you think of that?"

I didn't, answer that*He was right in everything he was saying*I didn't trust, him because I knew him too well to really be friends any more* "William*I think-that I know you too well to be your friend.lt' s been fifteen tears and I still feel like, you've been with me for half my life.How do ya like that?I know you so well, you've jyst about become a part of me.And .y'no what else.I don't”myself,and I know myself better then I know anyone else in the worid*I guess this world circulates on trust*If no one trusted each other,where would we be? I guess you can't answer that very well,since there is some trust, here*" Then,there was the symbolic act. that the palmist told me about*We both started talking at the same time and sa±$ the very same thing;,but w.e didn't stop talid.ng.We just went right on* ,,William I'm afraid I'm going to have to leve you now. We' ve befeSfe too clos§a:fc$ iaShs84:Sir^anSawl muscle! 'leperaled, We've. become too. close to each other,and we must be generated, or- we'll hurt each other later.You go that way,ana I'll go * i®5aY8» lac *- ■» w U#.# #’ face again*Goodbye-William* And w.e. both went our own way s. I walked toward the main streets to get a cab and he walked toward his seat in the bar that was; in a shambles*All of my friends had gone,and I had gone too..Everyone was gone*

I like the apartmen t I chaise*! tf s a little homey,and I like that*It seems like- there was already dirty underwear and plenty of mess to come, with the room.This way,I didn*t ha.ve. to. dirty it up .The landlady i s ni.ce enough. A little, de- manding,but nice, anyway .With a name like Stefanio Srazoonski, one'd better be good.I decided taht I wasn't gonna stand around here in this stuffy little room. I wanted to go. out for a walk.It was a nice night,and there was nothing bet ter to do.I had a funny feeling about this walk in the night. I decided I’d see the palmist whose sign I- saw on the way up he re. A palmist always struck me as the persom to go to when all the bars are closed.I wasn’t expecting to stand in line: for the event, so I didn't dress, well for the cool wind. When I got there,I was surprised to see that I had to-' wait in: line behind two other people that wanted to find out whether or not their balls, were on straight.When I got. in, the woman . who looked like a witch,which is probably what she was supposed to look like,threw a bucket out- the window that was full of dog piss. "Filthy dogi"she said wickedly."Oh,hello,you want to know what, your friends, are doing; now,don't you?" At that,.I wanted to turn back, and walk out the door.She just told me the question I was going to ask before I asked t it.I thought that, she couldn't be a phony if she knew that. I sat down in the creaky chair that I knew better then she did that it would break, while I was in It.You didn't need to be a psychic to know that,either. "Come,sit down,"she said after I had already sat down. business is. slow today,I'll give you bargain rates.Five bucks for openers."she held her creepy hands.out.When I was looking through my small wad of bills,I came to a ten.I'm sure she couldn't see my money,or even my hands.Just, when I was sure she. couldn't see the money,she said,not that one, it's a ten.I knodded as if this was completely normal unt.-j i I got. to a .five.When I gave it to her,she grabbed my hand and said,'And this is a very special five dollar bill.It's

the very five dollar, bill that you. will sign your name on. And it's the same five dollar bill that your future lover, Paula Dixon will rocieve in. change*1 "Paula Dixon,now there's a blast from the past*There is no way in heaven or hell Paula Dixon will be my lover," "Only for one night." "Oh. ...well, that makes the situation a. whole lot better." "You gettin' smart, with me?"she said with a hint of be- ing a mother in it. ■ "Uh-uh.I wouldn't dare,you might bite my head off." "Let's get serious now.You want to know what has hap- paened to your friends,right?" "llh-huh." 'JOkay ,le t' s get moving here. Willi am Scott.,, the one you were about to tell me about.You were also going to tell me that, he should be yery Successful because he is very smart. Well YOU; ARE WRONGi! i"that made me jump out of my seat.This 'woman was really wierd."He has a modest income and is di- vorced from his wife with eight kids.He lost custody of them all in court,and now he owns two health food stores in Cal- ifornia.He has forgotten about you,but you are going to see him again soon,and he'll, remember you right away.Don't worryP' She went an and on about when and where I was going to meet everyyone.According co her,.I wiuld meet Paulz Dixon here, tonight..Of course I didn't believe her,but how wrong could she be /From, what I've already seen, she couldn't be wrong. I would meet everyone•in relativly routine placesjrestaurants^^ and hotels.She had one problem in finding out about William Scott.She knew aboug hula,but she wasn't sure if I would ever meet.She was sure that if we did rvre meet,the results would be memorable.She said there would be a symbolic act be- xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, tween me and one of the emm,The whole visit was pointless, because. I forgot all about it after I left.When I left,I tnnk- the samp route that I took comins here.I was wa.king

along an empty street that was the last one I needed to: go down to get home ..The street waa. relatively quiet,and a car passing by was reason for notice.Well,while I was watching a, car roll- around the corner,I was shocked to hell to see a live body get thrown out of the car.I couldn't do anything about the car or the person,so I just went over to the per- son and checked to see if she was all right.I couldn't quite pick out any facial characteristics yet,but the voice was familiar out of somewhere.lt didn't sound like Paula Dixon, so this, proved that palmist wrong,but the voice, did sound very familiar* "Are you okay?" "Of course I am,I'm used to being thrown out of cars like that.."she said sarcastically.She was-layed out on the ground like a dead cowboy in an old western. "Should I go, get help,or are you all right?" I'll be okay,but I'm all scratched up." "Then I'll take you. to, my place and fix you up."I was doing; something; very stupid mow-1 was bringing a total stranger into my apartment.She awasn' t so bad that she could- n't walk,so she was walking next to me.I hadn't even taken the time to look at her face yet,and when it flashed in fronfct of me in a headlight of a car.It looked so familiar,but it couldn* t be.I'd have to wait to see if another car would pass and I could see her-gace again.Up ahead i saw a streetlight ■ that we would soon pass under.As we. passed under it,she said something that I didn't hear until after she said it.I saw her face,and then she said,'My name is Paula Dixon,what.' s yours?*Them we both stopped under the light and looked at each other. "Mark Thomas."I'm not sure if she didn't remember me or if she was just very surprused to see me.Prohabit the lat- ter-,but I dodn' t bother to ask. "Oh God,is that; you?"she said as if she'd run away if I said yes. "yup"

She threw herself at me and I think she was crying. I tried to remember the last time I saw her.It was about ten years ago, when we. got out of high school and XK&XXSL&M We all went to a soccer game to celebrate graduation.I tried^^ not to remember that,but i couldn't help it now.Before I knew it,we were In my apartment talking about old times. It wasn't like we hadn't seen each other for all our lives, but it had been a long time.The turning point in the con- versation came when she told, me the car she got booted out of carried a guy that was: supposed to pay her to. be with him. "That was George in. the car .He. di dnt have enough money to pay me tonight, so, he kicked me out of his car." "You mean he pays you to stay with him at night?" "Uh-huh.He*s a great guy,usually." "You do that for money,so...that makes you. a..."I was about to say it,but it never came out. "That's right."she said looking, up from the table. "apd I'm not ashamed of it.Why should I be?" "It's a sin.How can you go out and get laid by total strangers- for money like that?" "Hey-it's work,Isn't It?" "Well sure,but. .. "But w.hat?You probably work somewhere,don't you;well, you do your stuff,and I do my thing." . ; "I want you to leave now." "Whal?"sh^ said as if being a whore was all right. . b "Get out,I said opening the door and motioning her to leave.I knew I'd probably never see. her again after this, but It really didn't matter to me."C*mon,go.." She left in a flurry-and I slammed thedoor behind her. I stood,leaning against the door for. a few seconds,thinking. of what just happened.lt v/as ten years since I last saw her, and since this was. prabpbly our very last good-bye,! didn't know wbat to think.Was I getting, old,or was the world gettirg younger? "Am I getting old or what?"I said outloud.

Paula Dixon was still standing behind the door. "You're mat getting any older,"! heard her whisper through the door,"it1 s just that everyone else is getting younger„The world is immatiring,while you're getting more and more nature.►You should always rememner that," It seemed: like .she nadnrt really said that,and that it wasjust a voice, out af nowhere,If it was anythingat all,it was right,I picked up an old photo album that we had looked at and I, picked out a picture of her, Sh’.v was smiling and laughing and having a grear time.,So. was I,Look at me now. I'm in a crummy mo.tel in the middle of nothing worrying a- bout whether or not I'm too.' old,I guess me thinking: I'mmold has something to do with seeing an old girlfriend like that. Now I want to see all my other old friends again,That fo.rr tune teller on the beach was wrong;she said we'd be lovers for a night,Somehow,,I could never imagine us_ doing anything like that,!*m not even married yet.I'm too old nit to be married,and to old to. get married. I sat in a chair all night thinking about everything: Paual Dixon and I ever did together,When I really got down to thinking about it,we never did much of anything together. Even at the stadium in high school when we got lost,she made us look around for everybody else,I wish I hadn't seen her again,She just about ruined my life,I just said good-bye to the only girl that I ever cared for,I thought I liked Julianna,but I Just thought I liked her so I could say I liked someone,Be sides thaet,it gave me someone to blow all ry money on. I looked around the roam for the. first time since I . got here,It was a dark,brown room,The walls were brown and so were the curtains and furniture,There was a nice little lamp in the corner and another one next to the chair I was sitting in,I was in. a chair next to a window,To the other side of it was a table that had a bunch of crossword puzzles and o-ther word games on it along with a half-full glass of hour-

nn man.She's gone whole thong,Th± s'11 I left the motel and* go?t on a bus tcrp^oyher city.Thd room was still amess-when I ^ ^W-.-yr-.anything about* it.I got my typewruter -out of it’s ca.§g[afrk~ ting atttut’ v/hat happened last night.11' was diffi~T7|'f1 y# miiiqte a-bout,b.ut eventually,it cams out.Even thoughX didn1 t want to, I stlrtedj tb mile a poem about what it would be like to be musij eventually forgo t about vhn \ thougTT"^- dea' t thonk bo.n.I was never very good at handling good-byes,even ones like this.I haven1t had enough practice at these things. I sat in my chair and watched her walk away in the darkness. I was nowhere again.I was; in this small room looking at dark pictures: of rivers and bowls of fruit that are in all crummy motel^i liked the room enough,but I didn't really appreciate what had yust happened in it.Now,I had to clean up the mess tj/ta she made.I thoguht I gave that, up a long time ago..Now,twelve years: later,!fm still doing it.She makes me nsd.Whenever I see her.,I clennch my fists and almost am ready to. fight.But somehow,I can't resist her,and she knows it too I'm surprised nothing* did happen between ps tonight.She cortaintly knows how to. dress right for a now,and I might as well forget about this. probably happen again soon,but by then,I ’ Xl have forgotten, a-^ bout this. Today,after I got up at twelve thirty in the afertnoon, / • "*^T^---- on a bus taganoyher city.T rte a-want to., to be' good 3laving the piano on and amnlificrs while_crowds saying. The it .honk it's.tha t stll ijt6ayj^*~5~*lupg tlme, so^I1 m proud\oif iIt.I usually |111^ one every-..... time I Ji^ar another 1 i ke jtiThat1 s Jpretty mwmdmt I tSainkvit happens to everyone,wti^k, they're talented1 or not.

The busride was typical*! ’m going to get hemmerhoi ds if T keep this up^Mayhfi T ecml d be on a dumb r.nmrnerri el fnr Pre- paration H if they get had .enough. .. I Sot off the train from Mesa to Phocnix. end chacked in to a hotel*

This mo tel Is really getting to me.I really liked it at first,but it's like taking a footlocker to summer camp;you always look in it expecting to find something new.I- always want to be here when I'm not here,but when I do get here,I want to; leave. But today, something happened that make this place look like the . Don-IIo hotel.I got a letter from Wendy Cross.At first,I didn't remember ^er narae and ^ didn't even remember her picture that she sent me.lt took a few seconds for me to remember that we went to SXgKgrade school together.I read the- letter: Bear Mark, t - • Heyi MarklWendy Cross here.I'll bet you're surprised to hear from me after all these years.How1re you doIng?I»m doing just great.I live In Phoenix,Arizona now.I really love it here. I was married two years ago,and I couldn't be happier.I got married to don,and now I'm Wendy Prestoh.d guess you figured that out.)But you can call me Wendy Cross if you're used to that.. It's been twenty years since I last saw you,I really wish you could come and see us some time.You could meet my-kids, they' re really great kids,but I don't like to brag*I already have two after only two years.I'd really love to have ypu -see my house.It's the house I always talked about having someday.There's a huge glass window that me and Don look at the sunsets through.The sunsets. and sunrises are beautiful here,and I insist you come visit us.Yqu'11 really be missing a lot if you don't.We have a room for you to sleep in,and we'd go to all lenghts to make you happy.! absolutely insist that you fly down here or drive or what- eyer.Yout:d, a busride through Arizona.Yo-u can cruise through Grave to v/n and Las Vegas and all those places.I haven't seen you in such a long time,I wish you'd take me up on this.I'd love to beg some more,but the mailman's coming around the corner,and" I want to get this letter.to you at your present address as soon -- O \ ■% - • — - --- -- as possible before you. move. me r . . Love yar •• j . --••• - Wendy

I didn’t know what to say .The. first .time. I hear or see of Wendy Cross in. twenty years might end up the most celebrated affair of my life.Lord knows everything, else sucks*! wasn’t really interested in seeing Don Preston,bub I was interested in seeing Wendy.I really wanted to. see wha.t became of her.XXXI don’t think thdt guy I met last week was Don Preston,but you never know.It’s the only place she could" have dgotten my "address. But* I just dont believe that 'Wendy Cross would think of me after twenty years.lt lust seems s.o unlike her,.but not., really,she was always the. frend liest person in. our group,which is why, I wanted to. see her again so, much.Besides that, she'was so pretty ..What1 s wha.t I needed more thdn anything else .Without a doubt I was going to go .to Phoenixk see her and Don Preston again*This is the best thing that’s happened to me since, graduating from, high school.Just getting arlet ( . . .- . * - - . .. /. « -A -i -La.'J* . > . . . V; -v ter from Wendy Cross was enough to give me a feeling, that in my middle that made me so happy.I felt like I was just reborn.I gues ss it doesn’t take much to make me happy,but I’m not. that happy that, often,v/hich is why I welcomed times like these. After I got up,I. immediately left the motel and got got ona bus for Phoenix that I had made arrangements for the night befor e.I even went to the trouble to send Wendy a letter telling hher that I was coming,and I’d be there by Mother’s, day.XKXMezda wass sorry to. see me go.,but had customers waiting to get in. my room . (without me in it) I boarded a. bus for Phoenix with no. hesitation.I was inabig hurry to. get to, Phoenix and see two of my best friends I everhad and talk about, old* times.I guess I sound stupid,but I re ally want to see these people again.I was actually reluctant to go today , kuibecause a classic horror movie was. on:The Par of the Doused: w wads of Toilet Paner.The synopsis of it in the TV listings said; Two friends, who. have known each other for life both befriend eac other when their entire planet is attacked by alien wads, of toilet tissue that were doused in joeex seaweed and k c t chup * Sp eciall thanks t a the Charmim bathroom tissue company for making this # 1 film epic possible.(PG ?i6l) I didn’t, want to miss that one, but I had to ..I had nothing cn my mind except what Wendy was going to look, like afteraall these years*!’11 bet she’s; just as pretty as she ever was ,and that

1 * was very likely 1 cauMn*t imagine her not being- pretty* All the way to Phoenix I thought about every tiling that I could remem -her about Wendy Cross*! remember how guys would run after hera at partiea and ho-w Don wouldn*t do anything about it*I don't C see why she married that, clodhopper,he * s such a wimpo*I don'tt see how they could already have two kids after ornly taro years with a guy like .that*! .can- see her having; a country of kids,but not, him*I couldn’t wait to see 'their house.Prom, how she described it,it sounded like a palace' compared to. i, the dump I was staying in now*I haven't seen a glass door in years.This looked like a .lot to remember after leaving,but leaving was the farthest thing ^gvsHfro.m my mind.I didn't know how Long I was going to stay,but* I * /\P'P ia waa sure- to treasure, every moment* f . k c i + y)oK I left the. bus station at exactly the time I was supposed t© for a change.I wasn't expecting Wendy to be there,so I was-n't going, to look for her.It's a good thing,because I don't think she's |.ere.fl[er address and phone number was in my pocket, but I had no intention of calling her.I wanted this to be a surprise for both of us.all the way over there,! was trying to ex- actly remember Wedy's. face.It kept flashing in front of me,but it was never there long enough Tor me to. remember it.The blonde hair was what I remembered best.And her perfect teeth.Everythig was set.I'd knock on her door,she'd answer it,and we'd hug each other and yell,'Where have you been ya old buzzard?'Then Dan. and his kids, would rush to. the door and say hi,but they probably wouldn't get very emotional about it like we would.I'll bet Don would even get jealous about our hugging each other like that. I. shouldn't think about my friends like that,but that's the way Don was after high school started,which, is why our friendship drifted away. Wendy was right about, the drive through Arizona,it was very scenic fee looking at the,150° heat In my air-conditioned bus .Wendy was always, right about everything.! wonder why it took Don and her so long to get married?Whatever the reason was,it was probablyaa good one.Wendy never does anything^thout a good,

ton*s kids,they would probably do something like that.I rang it twice,.and than decided to look around the. back yard.When there was no.- one there, I elected to go bsck to the front door and wait there, until they cane back.After a few minutes,I heard a car drive up in the driveway.lt came fom the road that the driveway was on,so they didn't see me.The doors: of the car closed,and I heard voices,but I couldn't tell what they were saying.Over everything I heard one of the two people say-" Shit,, the doer won't open!"Imumbled to myself,that, must be Don Preston"I said that,because the last word I ever heard him say „ . * . ^ . ... * - - . was, shit,.when we got in our monster fight before graduation Ceremonies.for high school.Then I heard a woman say she had a key to the front door.That's when I heard footsteps on the grass coining closer.I was actually getting nervous that Don Preston would tear my guts out when he saw me for being on his property. I can't describe how I felt..I wanted to cry because I was so happy to: see xx&Wendy again,but I wanted to. run for my life for fear that. Don was going to kri.ll me. Through the branches of the bushes,I saw a grocery bag that was full of things like pretzels,.beer,and coke.I saw a very pretty hand holding, it,and I was. relieved to know that Wendy wasn't going to have to same me from that animal husband of hers.I heard keys jingling,and then I saw hervface.She was. looking at her keys.I wanted to say something,but it didn't fit the situation to say so me thing. Finally, she singled out a key and looked up.When-we made eye contact,I felt like I was going to. float away to heaven.She was still as pretty as she ever had been.Her eyes, were radiant blue,and her hair was as blonde as I remember it being before.She was holding two grocery bags up to her chest,amd one of them broke open at the bottom just as: she set eyes on me.On the ground spilled a bunch of candy and stuff like that that someone would buy when they were having a guest over .We were bo&h speec;hle.ss.Finally,after putting all doubts about her out of my mind,I spoke to her. "Your bag fell open..''apparently, she. hadn't noticed, be cause she didn't even know what I was talking about.until Xshe tried to put her bags down.She. did put her bags on the ground.Jesusl!

She’ s got huge boobs! II know I shouldn’t be thinking things like that at a time like this,but some pretty dumb things have come to mind at some pretty stupid times in my mind.-I can’t be- ..... gin to imagine what she was going to say next,but I would remember it forever,whatever it was.She' started to walk toward me, but stopped,and said,"Come here,you old bugar you."It* s not what I had in minx,but-it wasn’t half- bad.I walked on over to her and we gave each other the biggest hugs we've ever had in our lives.It really felt good to hug someone that I haven't seen-In twenty year s.,but still love anyway.I didn’t realize it, but I was so happy that a tear was running down my face,and I couldn’t seem to stop it from pouring out.I didn’t think she was doing anything but being emotional,but that idea went bad When 1 heard her sniff and then she wiped her eye®.

• The graduation ceremonies were as boring as I expected them to be.A few peolple I knew got some awards,but -it was never anything to get thrilled about,I couldn’t wait until . tomorrow night when me and the gang goes to the soccer game* We haven’t gone to a game in over a year,and we’re all iook- ing forward to it.It’s been such a long time since we -went to one that we’re, probably all going to get lost*I got* to sit at the very top. o.f the. .seats. during graduation so I could see T ■* everything that was going on.Rick Stewart sat next to me,and the only thing I can say about -him is that he farted 13 times during the whole two* hour ceremony .The. funniest par it a bout • - - - it was. that no one could figure out that it was him, and I lust kept my mouth shut until someone figured out who. it.was. After graduation,people seemed to just disappear. from t the. auditorium and reappear across town at the party that everyone. expected to. be. bad,but it turned out, to be one of the greatest party’s I ever went to.. • I drove, to the party in my car that my dad gave me far graduation the day before .The par.ty- was- at a place, .called, "The Fleabags"The restaurant had a pretty good name around town,even with i t’ a name.The enterance door made you look, like you were on fire because of all the black lights glowing. on you.On the way-in,I couldn’t help noticing a bunch of suits of armor lining the enterance passage ir*.I assume. - -is-i. * there was no one in them,but I didn’t stop to look.I decided £ looked like a calypso going in,and v/hen I opened the door in, I decided I looked like the only normal person in the whoile — —"C5s?S — place.Just as I expected,Paula Dixon ran up jso me and dragged - me to a seat..We were sitting at the counter snrtfAfter we had sat there for a few seconds-,I thought I heard something break behind the counter where I couldn't see it.I knew I shouldn't look,but 1 dared to, take a look over the edge of the counter on the floor.As I slowly looked over the edge,the first thing I saw was some broken glass,then I saw a shoe(With a foot in it).After I moved a few more inches,! knew I wouldn't be a- • bie to see who. was behind the counter,and then I discovered A

a mirror on the wall that I could see tk under the counter with*As it turned out,there were two. pedkple behind the, count- er kissing each other ferociously.I turned back around to ■ _, see If Paula was still,.:there,and,as I exnecyed, she wasn* t. SO) I elected to walk around this place and see what was in it .This party by far surpassed the eighth grade, graduation party.It reminded me of that place that Paula and I -went to during the summer a few years ago% called "The Joy Ride"I t ~A»——si ~—r—-3U-—-i remembered that I wanted to go there again once I was old ■ ■ • C.Xi£ enough to stay there after 6:00.This place, was something to think about, though ...From the counter to the back of the room, there, were about sixty people laying down smashed on the ground. * I don't know where most, of these people came from,but- I . could tell they had just graduated because, their graduation caps were on their hae.ds.One guy was trying to. eat his tas-sle,.which was hanging down in his face.He was making pretty rapid progress, too.4: of the tass^e. was. go ne. in no time.Usually, I would be concerned that he was going to get sick,but ghat thought never even crossed my mind now.I realized that I must laak like, a total ding-dong in, here because everyone else was having a great time,and I was looking around for someone that was probably already sto-ned under the, count or with everyone else. There was this band on the-stage that was really bad.Everyone knew thet were bad,too.I could tell,because don Prestin grabbed a full size watermelon and threw it on stage at them.After that, we had,to play records,because the lead singer of the band slipped in the pink stuff inside the watermelon, and smashed his headnon the ground.! felt sorry for him,but he had a lot of nerve going to a high school graduation party and sing songs KhH&fcxksw: that no one could understand let alone dance , to.Tk±sxharxkHkx&B3* pugrr ambulance had to be called in for the lead singer, but no one let.the gijys with the stretchers in the door*I think we scared, them all the way. across town*