A tumor or excrescence that forms on the inside of a horse’s hough, not far from the elbow; at first like gristle, but afterwards hard and bony.
A story circulated at my high school about someone from our class who, on horseback, placed an order and purchased food at a McDonald’s drive-thru.
Jerry was a known equestrian as well as a bit of a clown, so the story seemed legitimate and, to our easily-impressed minds, became something of a legend.
Few of us rode horses and my own inexperience in the activity led me to imagine that stepping through a drive-thru on horseback was perilous to the point of danger.
The facts of the story morphed over time, and one fellow in particular — Tommy — found endless implications to the act of passing through a drive-thru on horseback.
Tommy’s extended version of events said that Jerry had inspired others to pass through drive-thrus on various non-automotive modes of transport. Evidently it had become a bit of a craze, with people challenging their friends to get through a drive-thru on the most preposterous device. Eventually the fast-food businesses got fed up. They became generically indignant and began refusing service to anybody not in a vehicle.
One young man ambling through the drive-thru on a pogo stick was turned away, the Burger King employee scolding him with "It’s a ‘DRIVE-THRU’ and you must DRIVE THROUGH." These lectures, too, evolved to specify that McDonald’s would only serve individuals who approach the drive-thru in genuine motor vehicles.
Tommy’s story included customers moving through fast food drive-thru lanes in unicycles, horse-drawn chariots, tricycles, stagecoaches and Big Wheel®s. They, too, were refused service for their lack of vehicularity.
Tommy’s apocryphal flourishes dragged on, claiming that Jerry’s actions prompted enforcement of Florida laws which prohibit serving people at a drive-thru unless they are in motor vehicles. Zoning, taxes, public safety, and Tallahassee politics came into play as the story of Jerry, our increasingly heroic classmate who started it all, never ended.
I find Tommy’s stories interesting now. It seems he wanted to turn Jerry into a difference-maker, someone who baffled the system by confronting it with a bold and unexpected challenge and in the process exposed the stubborn arrogance of corporate policy and fast-food employees.
All that really happened was this: Jerry bought a cheeseburger on horseback.
