in high school my friends and went to a diner, and dared each other to use the C word, the cunt word, whilst placing our order with the waiter. i think there was money on the line. $20. big coin. i won, too, though i was lame. i mumbled it. i was so lame that i returned the money, since the spirit of the bet was to boldly and roundly say that word, like a salute, to the waiter, preferably in a borg-like voice, deep and husky, a randy Darth Vader.
“ what can i get you sir?“
“I WANT CUNT.“
“i don‘t think i have that i have tuna salad on…“
“CUNT!“
“i‘ll make some calls, sir.“
“THANK YOU FOR THE CUNT.“
yeahyeahyeah, it‘s a funny word to me, as foul as some Americans find it i think it is the most righteous comedic punchline for any circumstance. the brits, i am told, use that word as commonly as we Americans use “jerk“ or “asshole“, a behaviour i assume the Brits would blame on inbreeding. fucking cunts.
hokay, enough racisistic and cuntonistic dabblings, but i found myself laughing long and righteous this afternoon at the idea of a deep-voiced drone marching around town announcing “I WANT CUNT“ to everyone who might seem to be in a service-oriented capacity. cab driver: “TAKE ME TO CUNT.“ grocery store clerk: “WHAT AISLE HAS CUNT?“ bartender: “I WANT CUNT.“ telemarketer: “SELL ME CUNT.“ joe torre being asked if he would manage the new york mets next season: “I WANT TO MANAGE CUNT.“
…..
i feel sterile inside. this month of october, month of november thing, why does it have to happen at this time of year? like clockwork. i can‘t stay asleep. i was in bed late, 2am, but wide awake by 8:30. this is the seasonal adjustment. i wanted to wander today, and yesterday, but yesterday i had to sit and wait for FedEx to deliver the tremendous microwave convection extraveganza, and today i paid homage to the Tampa Bay Rays in their failed ALDS game #1 postseason adventure. so i had to stay in place, wandering new softwares and protocols. i have been a flickr paying customer for years but never really used it. today i adventured in to linking my sorabji.com pictures with flickr. i found a plugin/module that failed at first, and after much failure i found a line of code that made the thing work. one line of code, something to do with a writable tmp directory, the solution lurking in a sourceforge comment board posting.
i woke up thinking of Ozone Park. i hear of that part of Queens on the radio or in the Daily News but I have not been there, I don‘t think. The neighborhoods of New York seem like impenetrable fortresses to me, just like its people. I would like to go to Ozone Park because I like the name of the place but I have this sticky shit in my brain that stops me from going there, from going anywhere, stops me from stepping outside and presenting myself to the world on which i live.
