i saw a dentist today.

i jut recounted the story of the first time i went to this dentist, 4 or 5 years ago now… i explained to him at the time that i had not seen a dentist in 10-12 years, and he said whateverdude, that‘s cool, let‘s take a look. so he opens my mouth and exclaims “NIIIIIICE!“ because i evidently have the perfect mouth, the perfect skull, the perfect skull, the only blemish being a thoroughly unnecessary pair of fillings put in 14 or so years ago. at that visit at the dentist 14 years earlier i remember how the dentist marvelled at my teeth, holding my mouth wide open as he told his assistants to come in behold the glory of my perfect mouth.

so, the story continues, a few months after that dentist visit i had to see a urologist BECAUSE I WAS HAVING PROBLEMS WITH MY BALLS and as i went in to that office i imagined how funny it would be if i dropped my pants for the urologist and he exclaimed “NIIIIIIICE!“ “NICE BALLS!“ and then he‘d invite his assistants in to “Come see these!“ and then he‘d explain “We see some pretty nasty balls here so yours really made our day!“

yeah…

i can not seem to get a chunk of earwax out of my head, but i am not trying too too hard to remove it, as i am enjoying the sensation of deafness. not enjoying but exploring, perhaps disingenuously so since i know the situation is temporary. if i tip my head a certain way i can hear just fine, and this a.m. i heard the familiar crackle of wax reacting with the ear wax removal product i got at walgreens. there must be a chunk of wax the size of delaware in there. maybe it‘s alive. maybe it‘s NIIIIIIICE!

…..

ok, now we are getting ample mileage out of the NIIIIICE gag here…