Another long time work in progress has been Calvary Stories, a set of narratives I can’t decide if they should be factual or fanciful, or both. The latter should be ok as long as it’s clear which is which, though the opening story I thought of today would contain consolidation of one facet of a story I wrote years ago. The day my father died I was on 28th Street in Astoria but I want to tighten up the preceding narrative of what happened the night after he called me a week earlier, and stayed up almost all night, running to Calvary as the sun rose and waking up on the ground at the Alsop family cemetery with a copy of Styron’s “Darkness Visible” by my head. I somehow forgot about this incident until today. After my father called to make what would turn out to be his farewell call I sense something was off but I did not entertain or let it enter my head that he was going to take his own life. After hanging up the phone I headed to my regular pub, met a woman I’d never seen there before, and ended up with one of only 2 one-night stands I’ve experienced in my 47 years. it was nothing to feel good about, and when the sun came crashing through the windows of her apartment and at my face I found my stuff and got out, but not before swilling what was left of a bottle of wine we’d split. I don’t know if the wine was rancid for being open all night or if my brain was rotten for not knowing where I was or why I was behaving this stupidly in response to the inconclusive eeriness of my father’s phone call. I actually was only one block from my apartment but it took several moments longer than it should have to get my bearings, since my brain had been raked so hard. it was late august, but for the story I’ll change that to September, not that it matters. in reality dad waited a week from that phone call before doing what he did, but for the story i want the call to come at that moment i wake up on the ground at the Alsop Cemetery, which absolutely happened.
this incantation will open the door to what Calvary means to me, and it would segue into the fictional story of Othmar, which i need to revisit, as the drafts i found a few weeks ago do not read like the one’s i remembered.
long walk again today. New York looks mighty different when you cannot hear it. as a newly minted devotee of the Bose noise cancelling headphones of which I have made little use over the years I walked through all 4 Calvaries today without the usual din of noise from the BQE and LIE. Instead I listened to Grigory Ginzburg playing transcription of Strauss waltzes. the combined sound of Ginzburg with the Active Noise Reduction of the headphones made it feel like i was walking in utter silence. in the past i avoided wearing those headphones in public or in possibly unsafe places, since they are quite expensive and quite recognizable to thieves. But so is my DSLR camera and cell phone and I’ve been able to avoid troubles with those since getting mugged for a Treo all those years ago.
The new columbarium at 3rd Calvary is nice. I was impressed, and found that niche #181 is available. If/when I make a chunk of change I might see if a purchase could be arranged.
