Doing this more for reals than before. Been walking and talking into field recorder for a few hours. Thinking the way to do this is multitrack. The binaural mic brings nothing of real value to my voice track, which if anything sounds like it is floating amongst al the other sounds. A floater. A turd that won’t flush.
Feeling quite bad today. Bad as in, depressed, helpless, directionless. This talking into the recorder thing is actually a calculated catharsis. More and more I feel I have less and less. Resigned to failure, just like my mother’s brother whose name was never mentioned. He was an ice cream man, last anyone heard from him, and that was his life’s triumph.
At Starbucks, where procuring my freebie birthday coffee went without a hitch. That’s something.
I accidentally reactivated Facebook a few nights ago. Within a minute I re-deactivated. I had 51 notifications, which I didn’t t hink could happen while you are supposedly not there. It felt like a backwash of noise, opening FB again. Depression and noise all blasting at me at once. I was talking to David a few weeks ago about noise. Not aural noise but mental and intellectual. He did not use thee words but his sentiment was that he wanted the quiet back. The continuous assault of digital and media stimuli is making him crazy, and I concur. I did not grow up like this and it eats my soul, or at least my brain. Gotta go this coffee shop is making me crazy, too.
