My mother once said that suicide was the most selfish thing a person could do. I don’t know how or why the subject was in the air but it was when I was in high school. It was not long after that that she said she would kill herself if I joined the military, as my father was aggressively trying to get me to do at the time. Then, after my father killed himself, it was my mother who calmed me down a bit in saying that suicide among the elderly is a lot more common than people think, but it’s usually done in a way that cannot be confirmed as suicide. Indeed, if suicides that occur every day were reported in the news there would be a perception that it’s an epidemic. Wait, what?
My mother was all over the place on the subject of suicide, at once deriding it and then threatening to do it herself. I suspect that in the end she wanted to.
But it takes celebrity suicides to get most people’s attention about this. I was touched by news of Kate Spade’s death, but having never heard of her before I didn’t really connect. Did she really blame her husband? I am not really a foodie but I had watched Bourdain’s show a number of times and usually came away thinking he was sharp, but also lucky to be in his position. Bourdain’s review of the Sizzler was my favorite of his segments. But success and wealth can exacerbate depression because depressed people see the world for what it is, not as some kind of social media-like fairy tale where everyone is smiling and all our lives are perfect. Reality doesn’t cut it in this fake, phony, and fraudulent world.
I remember listening to David Paterson’s radio show once. He was the former governor of New York who succeeded Eliot Spitzer. Paterson took calls from listeners and one time the subject was suicide, and how someone (probably celebrity) had just committed it. Somebody called in and said that suicide is the stupidest thing you can do, that only dumbasses off themselves, etc. Paterson chuckled and said “Maybe this person would still be around if they’d had you yelling at them!” It was grimly funny, but illustrated how the public’s perception of suicide has minimal connection to reality.
I will be thinking about this, and reading up on the story. He had kids. Did he do what my father did? Did he call them one last time to see if they were doing well?
