I have to remind myself: I am not a career person. I did not come to this job looking for eternity, retirement, pension. I was told last week that, given my reputation and duration of employment, it is virtually impossible for me to get fired. I’m not worried about getting fired. I’m worried about getting trapped in a place where the #1 perk is job security. Maybe I will get fired. It would be one of those incidents where everyone gets whacked, with fat severance packages. I’d take that. Who wouldn’t? I know now what I ramble about.

This is not really a kitchen. There is a microwave and a refigerator/freezer. But it is a break room. All tables enpty save for this one. I suspect they really do not want people like me here this early. I am regularly here over an hour early. That makes me a liability. Any time you are not expected or scheduled to be here makes you a liability.

I read about how Los Angeles attempted to sweep its homeless off the streets by stuffing them into dumpy motels on the edge of town. There was plenty of discontentment among those who agreed to this arrangement, with at least  one suicide and  a lot of discomfort at being treated like prisoners. It reminded me of some self-appointed arbiter of evil who, in passing, claimed that $20billion would solve homeless. How? Is it so simple as putting roofs over peoples’ heads? It’s not working in LA, not for anything but political points.

Also read a re-assessment of “Cheers”, concluding from it that I was way ahead of the times in my reactions to that show. Particularly the Diane character. I always found her caustic, mean, manipulative, and just undesirable on almost any level. Yet the dude goes for her, the way Kane went for the hooker. Why are television and cinema obsessed with men going after undesirable women?

Have to go. Still thinking about this job. Being trapped when I don’t have to be. I have to find something else. Something that feels satisfying and decisive. Security? Maybe unstability is its own security.