just saw those three words, all in a row, in a random words output.
simple pleasures.
thinking of moving, thinking of going away.
i don’t need much, don’t want much, just want to keep busy.
new hampshire? delaware? i’ve got the 20% down payment and the stellar credit rating, though the new reality is that neither of those things is worth the dick it came in on.
i felt like i had a heart attack this morning. pointy, sharp pain in the area just under my left torso. it hurt, and made me reach my hand and arm out to the end of the bed before pointlessly reaching it back to my chest. i know it wasn’t a heart attack. how could it be? well, then, what do i know anyway? it didn’t feel that bad. it felt like a cramp, or a random weirdness. who doesn’t have those once in a day. well, wait, it happened twice today. once again while walking down 28th Street, along the exact stretch of road where i took word from the daytona beach police officer that my dad was gone. i don’t dwell on the specifics of that matter any more but i can’t help but remember it when i cross that spot where the call came.
i stood up this morning thinking it could just as well end here and now as end next year, next decade, next week. nothing in my life distinguishes next week from today, tomorrow from next year, 8:32am (when this happened) from any other hour and minute on any other place or time. i was born at 10:37am, maybe we can be neat about it and relieve this world of my presence, my life of silent gluttonies, at that hour and at that minute at which this stupidity began, on some equally stupid day.
