FedEx Now Delivers to the Cemetery
This looked like a writing prompt. A FedEx Express van — Express, no less! — was seen at New Calvary Cemetery this weekend. This was almost certainly just a FedEx delivery person taking a well-deserved break in a place where parking is easy. Or else they had actually visited a grave site while on their lunch break. Whatever the real reasons for this truck’s presence here it made for amusing story-wringing:
- Someone who had died arranged to have their coffin delivered EXPRESS to the cemetery. FedEx got it there so quickly that the delivery person was left waiting for the rest of the procession.
- Someone had an embarrassing item they wanted delivered, and they did not want to use a real street address. So they had it delivered to their beloved grandmother’s burial site, using the Calvary gravesite coördinates as a street address: Queens Boulevard and 52nd Street, Section 18, Row 40, Plot 3…
- The FedEx van is about the size of an ambulance, isn’t it? Or it could be. Reports of the walking dead prompted this FedEx ambulance driver to rush to New Calvary, where rumors of zombies in need of medical attention were grossly overstated.
