So I found this strange Periscope channel on the Roku. At first periscope seemed to be mostly big-breasted women in their kitchens talking about their children and deflecting questions too personal for prime time. Then all those big-breasted women disappeared in favor of evangelical preachers and conspiracy theorists who talk non-stop about their bullshit theories and beliefs.

That, it turns out, was as much Periscope as one could easily get to through the Roku. Periscope through the actual app and then the web site had more people, though I found it remarkably quiet out there for a Twitter product. I mean, not even 3 dozen broadcasters in all of New York City, as far as I could tell.

So I went out to Calvary today, Periscope-ready. I broadcast some grainy video from the field. I had up to 5 or 6 simultaneous viewers and 20 altogether. Rock Star!

My intention was just to see how smooth the video looked. It did not look that great but it was overcast, and there may be techniques to improve clarity.

I said nothing, though I of course had plenty to say. It is Calvary, after all. One of my old stomping grounds.

I ended the first tour at the Alsop Cemetery. That is where, in 2005, I woke up one hot August morning after passing out for what was most likely just a few minutes. William Styron’s book Darkness Visible, said to be a seminal work on the matters of depression and suicide, was on the ground in front of my face, next to Hanna Alsop’s tomb. The book had fallen out of my vest pocket. All that visual stimulæ notwithstanding it was, for some reason, the rumbling of the Kosciuszko that jolted me from my slumber. This was the morning after what turned out to be the last conversation I ever had with my father. It was the morning after a night of debauchery that started at Sunswick and ended the next day with me sneaking out of the apartment of a woman who was snoring like a freight train.

I don’t think I was ready to spill that story — which has more to it then its bookends — to this unknown gathering of random souls on Periscope. Most of them looked like kids. The app is labeled as being a “teen” piece of software, though I saw some growed-ups on there last night.

On my third tour (the second one didn’t count) I did a closeup of the crucifix hanging on the garage where the groundskeepers store their gear — and where, last I heard, a couple of the bronze eagles that formerly adorned corners of the Civil War Memorial are stored. During this closeup of the crucifix one girl said “I AM MUSULUM” (sic). Previously, during a pan shot of the cemetery, she said something like “HOROR (sic) SHOW”. I’m thinking she was 15… although wouldn’t she have to have been in school? It was 1:00pm, I think. Bladah. The crowd seemed nice. I didn’t stay around long enough to get to know anybody, and I said nothing. Next time I will share my sexy radio voice, with stories of what I know about the Soldiers Monument, the cemetery in general, the new Kosciuszko Bridge, and whatever else seems clever. I wish the video was less choppy but I guess you can’t expect 1080p from a device that is both recording, encoding, and broadcasting all at once.

For $200 I could get a 360-degree add-on gadget that would let me broadcast all the way around. Someone was doing that last night while grocery shopping in Seattle.  It was neat. You moved your phone or tablet around and that let you look around the place where she was standing.

360-degrees at Calvary would be neat except that by necessity my face would have to be visible. No thanks, said all the world. I could wear my Balaklava, but that would be even weirder than seeing this uninspiring face in direct sunlight.

I might get a 360-degree add-on like that later, when they come down in price to what they are really worth. That would be at most $9.99. A pair of 360-degree glasses was raising funds on Indiegogo last week. For $150 you’d get the glasses, but not until November. Sorry, kids, by November there will be perfectly passable sets of these glasses coming out of China for twenty bucks. I also got scammed out of exactly $150 by a Kickstarter scam called ZionEyes, or as I came to call it, Lyin’Eyes. So, no need to revisit the world of crowdfunding into which I’ve lost a total of $450. Other projects included a book about a phone booth, a book which looks like it will either never be published or which will, upon publication, disappear into the cultural abyss. Another project was not exactly a scam but, in my particular circumstance, proved to be a waste of money. Never mind about that, too boring and specific.

So, maybe back to the cemetery tomorrow, and maybe I will even hop a Car2Go one way or the other and do some Periscope video from the dashboard. I saw someone doing that last night. I lovedashboard cams, even if in this case it was too dark to see a lot of what was passing by. They appeared to be cruising around The Bronx with nowhere in particular to go.

…

I have been inordinately jizz-tastic over this PLEX thing, listening all the way to and from Calvary to Adele, Gavrilov, and Springsteen’s second album, which I guess I never gave much of a chance. It is hot shit, at least when it is hot shit. The Wild the Innocent and the E-Street Shuffle.

A lot of what I am streaming off my PLEX is on Spotify, but I find something most excellent about having my own private library of stuff to stream, and not just audio. I have the complete Flintstones, Gilligan’s Island, Brady Bunch, Paper Chase, and a bunch of movies on the PLEX server already, with more to come.

PLEX should meet MAX!

Oh, about that weird image of the LIE near Calvary. That’s from the Greenpoint Avenue overpass. It was supposed to be one of those pictures that captures 8 seconds of video, a la the way Apple innovated on that idea last year. This was Sony’s iteration of that idea. It did not work as expected, but I suspect that the image is meant to be embedded into a more hospitable environment which contains the tools to actually play the image back. As it is I ended up with  a weird looking parade of just a few cars repeated ad infinitum.

At the Bakeway, listening to Charles Hopkins’ recording of Sorabji’s Gulistan. I don’t think you can get this on Spotify. I think Habermann’s Gulistan might be out there but not this one. Best of all, so far, after I think 3 or 4 hours of streaming this stuff to my phone I have not received a data usage warning from T-Mobile. That’s a measure of how professional PLEX is on bandwith usage. It is a bit of a mess in other realms but that is because it relies on open source projects like those CD databases that try to match track count and track length to commercial CDs. It’s kind of a joke in the classical realm, but I don’t mind. The performer of Gulistan is, for some reason, showing up in the PLEX as a cranky looking aging rock and roll star, not the ruddy 50-something year old classical pianist who is actually performing this amazing piece. I think this random connecting of tracks to unrelated musicians could open new worlds of musicians and music to me.

Since switching from tablet to Galaxy Note 5 for typing these critical /MOBI missives I have barely noticed the change. You would think I’d type less on account of the smaller screen — I have theories about that sort of thing — but it doesn’t seem to be the case. My effluviousness is uninhibited by square inch limitations.

I intend to get another tablet, though. An 8-inch Samsung, refurbished. Today, running PLEX, Periscope, and whatever else all at once the battery drained to 50% faster than ever. The tablet would take care of the PLEX and the GPS, I think. Or whatever. Who the fuck cares…

Going home.