I did not notice until I changed course, that I was feeling a sense of anticipatory elevation that precedes walking up onto the Ed Koch/Queensboro Bridge. My mind enters a sort of survivalist mode as I approach and then first set foot up there. I think it’s a base instinct. What if the bridge collapses? What if it somehow shakes and rattles so hard that I get tossed off? What if I have a panic attack?

Within moments that sense of survivalism becomes embedded into my view of things. It becomes not a burden but a strength. I embraced and even heralded the faint sense of danger. The possibility of leaving the ground gives this wingless creature a feeling of liftoff as I approach the bridge.

But then I had to turn around. I noticed the Chase Bank branch at Queens Plaza North and 27th Street. By stream of consciousness the bank made me see if I had any cash in my pocket. That’s when I discovered I forgot my wallet thingy. No cash, no cards, no ID. Going up on the bridge like that and potentially getting shanghaied (as per my primal fear) would be worse without any ID then with. I’d wake up in Bellevue trying to get people there to believe I am who I say I am, whoever the hell that is.

I was having second thoughts about spending the afternoon walking to and from the 181 anyway. Nothing there for me, I don’t think. But I could have used the exercise.

But the deflated sense of anticipation, or rather the rising up of that anticipation in the first place, was kind of an interesting thing to notice. It felt as if a round of applause was about to erupt from within me.I should read up on the psychology of bridges. Hah, that sounds as if I want to learn about what makes bridges tick but of course what I mean is that I think there is much to be said about humans and our subconscious feelings upon approaching bridges and tunnels.


So this website is finally happening. It combines .MOBI and .COM but tries to keep them segregated as they were before. .MOBI stuff does not appear on the top page or anywhere else. Under that umbrella is where I expect to continue these self-absorbed prattlings. I think I like the design, though it comes with some extra work to make it SPARKLE. Most importantly this site does not exist to search engines, at least as best I can tell. It’s like being on the dark web but in plain sight. All it took was a line of code.

I’m going home.