So I gave in, gave up, and swallowed 2 whole panic pills yesterday, with another ½ pill later. BP was something impossible but the pills, which might work a little too well, had it under control within a ½ hour. I’ve always thought one of these pills (½mg) was not enough, so last time I took two pills I couldn’t help notice how much faster it worked. So next time I ask I’ll get 1mg tablets instead of ½mg. But then the ER doctor a few weeks ago suggested I go back to Librium. Maybe I’ll see if I can try them both, if that’s allowed to prescribe two controlled substances at once. I had not taken the pills for months, although I’m not counting the emergency room visit a month or so ago. That was fundamental.
I slept well on no booze last night. Actually my ability to get real sleep sans booze is not as scary nor is it the adventure it has been in times past, albeit with the aid of the panic pills and my improved ability to relax all the tightened parts of my body. I have the most trouble in getting my eyeballs to relax in their sockets, something I might never be able to do. The eyes just want to keep looking up and looking up, not resting. That’s when I start seeing shapes and movements flitting about the inside of my eyelids. I see a lot of breasts, a lot of cocksucking, and there are other things that I would describe as lava-lamp smears of blood in my eyelids.
I talk to POOP once in a while but he’s always so peppy, and wanting to poop but he can’t because The Team complained about the poop everywhere. Most of the team can’t poop at all so they’re not very sympathetic to poor POOP and his poopfulness.
I was out yesterday, looking for God in the payphones of Astoria up at Ditmars and in between there and 31st Avenue. I did find PRAY on Steinway Street, and twice at that. That was something, and it helps confirm her reputation as having taken her message to every single payphone in New York.
My cohort on the street theater shows no sign of his enthusiasm abating. He was already primed when discussions showed up on low-level Reddit threads. Then came Gothamist and the follow up. But it was quiet on the social media last week as I continue to light up the kiosks several times a day. Astorians might just be getting used to it. Overexposure.
