i can not decide if i accomplished anything meaningful today. my goals, such as they were, were met. but upon golas being reached i found that they were insignificant to the larger project, the larger game. i got laugh, though, out of my new web server which i leased this week. i ran a program which i expected to take 15 minutes to run but which took about 5 seconds, and went so fast that i thought nothing had happened. funny to me, maybe not to you, maybe not anyone on this green green earth, but i sat at my throne and chuckled. a friend from high school once told me he was 13 or 14 years old before learning that “throne“ did not mean toilet, or that it meant something other than just toilet. i was about the same age before i learned that SWAK did not stand for “Sealed With a Knee,“ but Sealed With a Kiss. at 13 or 14 i thought that was gross. ew. i know why i thought that, too, it was because an article in Dynamite Magazine, a publication for pre-teens, had an article which jokingly said that SWAK stood for Sealed With a Knee, but i did not realize they were joking, or i missed the humor, as i continue to do throughout life. now that i look at SWAK again it looks kinda scary, a truncated swastika? sealed with a swastika? sealed with a kkk? scratched with a key? stinks with a krill?
i unwittingly overslept (if that‘s not redundant) because my “alarm clock“ did not go off, because i forgot to set it. my alarm is my cuisinart coffee maker, and when i lie in bed wondering what time it is i know that it is after 9am by the smell of the coffee floating in from the kitchen around the corner. the smell of coffee is how i know i should think about rising from my usuallly-excessive sleep. i have been prety strict about myregimen lately, keeping to a coordinated schedule, and not wandering aimlessly about this great city as listlessly as i used to. i miss that, and have reserved tomorrow for just that purpose. i have not even any big pictures in the hopper, so limited have my camera-toting travels been of late. the shame. the shame.
for some arcane reason the message i sent here a couple of daayys ago did not post until this morning. i met J again, K‘s sister, who was in town. that was far less depressing and exhausting than last time but there was still that tincture of emptiness. o lost. she semi-invited me to Australia, suggesting i choose her coast versus the other coast. that‘s something to think about. something to think about.
i took a crack at Plone today. it quickly made me irritable. on its surface it seems easy as pie but then i tried installing tinymce and i read “this product is an egg“ and i‘m like what the FUCK is an egg? why the cutesie lingo? then i think i understand the instructions, you have to edit a giant text file and restart something, but the something can‘t find the giant text file and i can‘t understand what an egg is or why. so i cried. aha. i wept. then i went out for beers, sticking to my strict regimen regardless of sleeping in because of the damn coffee fiasco, the debacle, the blitzkrieg.
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going to invent more work tonight. think about these things. i need a day of text. a day of only text. new text. and i should write out the piano piece i‘ve been crafting. i happened across a perfectly sculpted impromptu by Scriabin, one which so perfectly encapsulates the directionless of his early years and the same of the years 2002-2004 in my life. or maybe 2002-2010. i don‘t know. i drift. but this little piece of Scriabin‘s, while no masterpiece worth recommending to others, simply and eloquently sounded like directionlessness, and it seemed to know that. it is sweet.
