i managed to thread the needle of weather today, avoiding rain and getting some sunlight on my sun-craved face. this new camera i got is a mixed bag. the Lumix is a better device, but as i just disco vered, the GPS on the new Sony is scary accurate. unlike the Lumix, which is either scary accurate or so far off that it’s useless. and for my purposes, GPS doesn’t have ot be too far off to be, you know, useless.
i woke up wanting to do some work, some writing and some web crap, but instead i got to stare at the fancy new RAID and penetrate the mysteries of why it changed IP address without informing me. and then i noticed that one of my web servers crapped out again, barfing up a mystery sequence of error messages that tell me nothing, or nothing much, at least. so this web site was offline all night, which is no great loss, but other sites were gone, too, and that’s not good. and then i took a dump and said fuck this shit, the sun is out and i can’t waste a rare day of sunlight screaming at a computer and at software, pleading with these motherfucking things to just fucking work.
so i didn’t get to do anything else this morning. i grabbed the new camera and stomped over to Calvary. ther ewas some weirdness on the Honeywell Street Bridge. police barricade tape and pylons, and (most strangely) a handful of Lincoln Town Cars, parked along the northbound side of the bridge, the drivers present in 2 of the cars, and no driver present in a third car, which had a pylon on its roof. i suspect that perhaps someone is filming a movie there, but there was no paperwork stuck on walls or light posts to indicate as much.
so you see, there was immediate confusion, which was useful to take my mind off the bile-raising encounter with the new RAID, which turns out to have been a problem in another segment of the computing devices with which i surround myself. so far the RAID has proven to be an annoyance but i expected that and i think it will straighten itself out in time. i just get nervous sometimes about how perilous my life is, the digital world of reliance on hardware and software that bears no responsibility for failure.
and then what happened?
i got to Calvary. did you know that that place is very loud? it is not a peaceful, serene, silent place. it is loud. a continuous din of urban noise and swirl. there were a lot of people there today, i guess on account of the Jesus thing. i felt a little underdressed whilst walking around earlier. everyone in their Sunday best, me taking the opportunity of a sunny afternoon to get into shorts and a t-shirt. i last went into a church on Ash Wednesday, feeling a bit sarcastic about it… i have had desires to return to the rituals of the church, but i remembered last week how different church was when i was on my own in finding it, versus being more or less required to attend whilst in high school and grade school. i like dit better that way, the compulsory nature of things. as an ersatz thing i don’t know… it’s dicey, especially in this town, where everything is so exposed and scrutinized. i think about churches and cathedrals and they do not inspire. they intimidate, and reduce me. maybe that is the plan, the plan to build massive cathedrals for the purpose of reducing mortals therein to the insignificant specks of dust that God says we are. Elaine Pagels, where are you when I need you? won’t you please come home?
