i played through some beethoven tonight, remembering how physically taxing the piano can be. i don’t play as much these days, but i’m thinking of returning to the time-suck of learning enough music for a recital program. that is the surest way i know to make time disappear: learn new repertoire. i wonder if i even have the strength any more. not to blame it on the piano (the lamest thing a pianist can do) but i suspect that the action of the digital piano is not wholly identical to the so-called “real thing”. and i have barely used the “real thing” for years now.

i woke up and searched apartment listings. i could move almost anywhere, could i not? then i contemplated the logistics, the maneuvering and the laboriousness of it all. the new tv weighs 122 pounds, which isn’t so heavy, but it’s obviously a huge and relatively fragile beast that would probably require professional movers. the safe weighs even more, and it’s inconveniently located in a closet. and then there are all those old magazines. those would have to land in storage, and a big batch of them could safely be put there because i’ve digitized them all. a lot of books, most of which i would actually want to keep, since there is unlikely to be a digital version of them any time soon. shelves of CDs. a year or so ago i commenced a project of removing CDs and DVDs from their cases and putting them in those book-like containers. what are those called? you put something like 124 CDs/DVDs in each, or half that many with the CD/DVD booklets.

moving the TV and the piano would probably cost $500, i might be able to solicit help from friends in moving the easy stuff, but as long as i need professionals for the bigger stuff i might as well box up the rest of my shit and trust that to them, too.

i don’t know where i want to move, though. i have always like lower manhattan, especially around John Street and above the financial district. i used to like Midtown West but it’s too noisy and it’s being targeted for development. Astoria/LIC is a perfectly suitable option, too, except that i wouldn’t mind moving on from this area. upper east side, where i used to live, seems suitable enough, but the upper west side is a no-go. hate that part of town, not just because it’s so crowded but because of the sodden, dreary memories i have of living there. and the subways over there suck something scary, though i’m more of a bus-rider anyway.

i come back to my belief that some parts of New York are where you live when you want to have a life, versus a career. areas like Astoria and Coney Howard Beach and Bayside and Throgs Neck are for living lives, while Upper East/West sides and Midtown East/West are for establishing proximity to career-building situations. i know that’s a vast and possibly unkind generalization, but if it guides me away from annoyances of living among corporate climbers then it can’t be so bad.

and no doorman buildings.

i would probably base my decision about what part of New York to move to on how many pretty girls I see on Streetview. i saw some blurry-faced hotties in Tribeca’s Streetview captures today. maybe i’ll move there. or maybe i’ll just move in to Streetview.

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Section 55: Waterloo for the portraits project? I don’t know. i sorted and edited all of 82 photos today. it became boring, and i let myself ruminate on the ethics of it all. i shoudld do more than just seize the faces and assemble them into a blanket of faces. (holy crap, there’s a merchandising idea…) the obvious extension of the project is to link out to any and all information i can find about the people pictured. but that’s a chicken shoot. some people will have available information, others will not. no prestige is bestowed simply because someone has a portrait on their grave stone, so why should their memory be plundered and lifted from obscurity over anyone else’s?

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i slept until 11 today. i guess i either needed that, or i am back to being lazy… or somewhere in between. i worked hard today. it was boring as shit, but it had to be done.

i felt pitiful yesterday as i left for the day. i packed a lunch. i made a turkey and cheese sammich and i put it in a Ziploc bag, and i stuffed the bag into the bottom of my black leather briefcase. i don’t know why this made me feel pitiful, except that the last time i did this sort of thing i had a corporate job. now my life is my job. maybe not pitiful so much as … remonstrance. time to face up to this life i lead. i do LEAD this life, after all. i felt like packing a lunch was the stuff of corporates, and here am i acting like my identity is worth the hassle of preparation for even one single day. sammiches are for the little guys! i’m BIG! i’m CEO! PRESIDENTE!

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