2Go

Today I spent 15 bucks looking for a place to park. That is what my getting-to-know-you encounter with Car2Go amounted to. I signed up yesterday and went out today just to see how the logistics of it worked. I thought I’d find a car, drive it around the block a couple of times, and park it. I expected to spend just a few bucks. But when curbside parking revealed itself to be as ridiculous as I remembered I went with the flow and drove around the area, like old times. I was constantly looking for an available parking space but I also let myself enjoy remembering how to drive and seeing how this little Smart Car handled.

The mini-adventure started when I attempted to use the Car2Go app to access a car at 38th Avenue and Northern Boulevard. That did not work. I tapped “Start rental” twice and waited for the car door open automatically, as the app promised. Nothing happened. Too bad. This would have been my first Car2Go:

I happened to notice three and maybe more of these Car2Go vehicles at the Ram Auto Center across the street on Northern Boulevard. There were also a number of other Car2Go vehicles parked nearby. Maybe this was an ersatz parking lot for the Auto Center across the street and this particular Car2Go was not actually ready for service, even though it appeared on the app’s map?

When the first Car2Go failed me I walked a block over toward 37th Avenue and found another. Standing beside the car I tapped the “Start rental” button and this time, after 10 or 15 seconds, the car unlocked. Joy. I opened the door. A cloud of dust blossomed. Seriously, the interior of this car was a floating pillow of dust particles. Some allergy sufferers may not want to apply if this is a common condition of Car2Go vehicles.

Another gripe: The radio was impossible to turn off. That became surprisingly annoying as the afternoon’s admittedly brief drive wore on and I became increasingly impatient at my inability to find parking. Annoying songs came on the radio, irritating my previously peaceful mind. The only thing the LED screen’s buttons allowed me to do was change the station from WFUV to something else. The volume button on the LED screen did nothing. There was no analog volume button to backup the LED fail. Like any responsible driver I do not like futzing with buttons while a vehicle is in motion. I pulled over at one point, just to figure out how to turn the damned radio off. There was a physical “RADIO” button at the top left, next to the LED screen, but that button did nothing.

The car knew my name! What a smart car.

I entered my pin number and spent a couple of minutes getting acquainted with the car’s interior. I adjusted mirrors, figured out where the hell they put the ignition in this thing, and found the lever to adjust the driver’s seat from the luxuriously reclining position bequeathed by the previous driver.

Those two or three minutes of familiarizing myself with the vehicle cost me about 82¢.

I had not driven a car in something like 3 years. I had never been inside a car of this Lilliputian proportion. The last vehicle I drove regularly was a 1997 Lincoln Town Car – about as far removed from the style of vehicle as one can get short of a Hummer or house-sized SUV. I sold the Town Car but it is still “in the family”. I sold it to a friend who uses it to drive me and others up to City Island once in a while. I am welcome to borrow the Town Car any old time, though I probably never will. I have the keys to that car right here in my pocket.

I hit the road, baby. I burned rubber. Well, no I didn’t. I drive conservatively and well within the rules. But if I felt momentary enthusiasm for the moment of hitting the gas on this little Smart Car it is because I love driving, and I used to do so with abandon when I lived in Florida. Yes, I like to drive the automobile. I loved the pod-like feeling of transience that feels quixotically stationary.

But that was a long time ago in a Florida far, far away. In these parts simply “driving around” can border on hellish. I expect to keep Car2Go on call for use when walking is not an option, but after today’s admittedly exploratory excursion I cannot see what role it might play in my every day adventures. Not yet, that is.

The car handled amazingly well. It never crossed my mind that I was driving something so tiny. This confirms comments from friends and acquaintances who have driven these small cars. They say the Smart Car drives just like a “real” car. The breaks were a little hyperactive but I got used to that. I felt like I was in command of a well-built can made for a very large ham.

I remembered the rules of driving in Astoria that I established back when I owned the Town Car. These rules had left me since I had no reason to think about them for so long. Rule #1: Try not to turn left onto Avenues, unless there is a stop light, and be skeptical even then. It is almost impossible to see around the corners on account of all the cars parked curbside, and people speed along those avenues. I try always to turn right. It just seems to suit the pattern of the right-lane-centric nature of things. There are other rules but they elude me now that I am not behind the wheel. One rule of all roads is to turn the freakin’ radio off when trying to concentrate on something like finding a parking spot or parallel parking. That was major-league annoying.

Parallel parking should have been easier given the ample clearance the Smart Car offers over larger cars. But here is something I have not told anyone: Until today I had never parallel parked – at least not that I can remember. I never had to. For most of the time I owned the Town Car I rented a private driveway. Before that I parked curbside and moved the car around at the times when side-of-street rules changed. I never had to do this neck-craning business of parallel parking.
On account of that I let myself run slightly amok today to park the Smart Car just right. I made some use of the sidewalk in my effort to squeeze the tiny Smart Car into a parking spot about 5 times the length of the vehicle. An experienced parallel parker would have laughed at my clumsiness but I have no shame. I parked like no one was watching.

Moments after the rental ended this invoice arrived on my cell phone.

It was a bit more than I expected for less than a ½ hour of driving time. I had not taken a close look at the math on the company’s web site, but when I saw “$14.99 per hour” I must have assumed that meant they rented cars at a rate of $14.99 per hour. I guess if I had stayed out driving 32 minutes longer I would have gotten the hourly rate versus the per-minute rate? I’ll think about this another day, should I ever use Car2Go again. As it turns out I spent the majority of the time today just trying to find a place to park.