Whoever found or finds the bag I lost this week is in for an unusual assortment of detritus. My work photo ID, which has my name and place of employment, was stashed in a bag with some condoms and some Lipton tea bags. There may be other incriminating evidence as well. Or rather, other identifying information, but I do not see any way that the name of the person I’d been staying with on the weekend could be in there.

I’ve been sick this past week, with an icky sore throat and general malaise. Feeling better today, though. General energy is much improved, and swallowing the morning’s cottage cheese did not induce pain as it did just yesterday, though there is still a distinct and definite ick lingering in my throat. It shall pass. I guess it started Friday, got worse Saturday and Sunday to a point where Sunday is almost a total blur to me. That’s the day I lost the bag with the identifying/incriminating evidence of my recent debauchery. I rarely lose things like that and I blame my near incoherence for letting it slip out of the bigger bag in which it and other smaller bags were stashed.

One imagines the person who found the bag shipping it to my employer, advising them they employ an individual who possibly fornicates outside of wedlock and perhaps uses his company ID as a way to woo the women. Hah, yeah right. My work ID would not woo a worm.

Maybe the array of materials has already circulated the Dark Web, sold and resold into dilution. I don’t even know what that means.