Not having anybody to talk to is driving me insane. I mean I really think it is making me crazy. Like, turning my mind inside and out, upside down and rubber bouncy. I woke up around 5am, unable to sleep, heart pounding hard. Did a couple of slow shots, with ice water chaser. Didn’t wake up feeling too boozy but it’s just a stupid life I live. To make it worse I got another small money-from-the-sky windfall today, so I’m just going to stay as lazy as I can.
I have been reaching out to this girl I’ve known off and on for a long time. She’s awesome. But I don’t want to suddenly be her best friend. I do not know her deal, I do not know who she is. She would probably say exactly the same about me.
At the library, where I notice that the passing of the R or M train rattles the building. There is someone here who looks like a guy I do not know, I think named Rudy. He was a Sunswick acquaintance. One night, out of nowhere, he came over to me and yelled “LOVE YOUR RECEIPTS!” or “NICE RECEIPTS!” or something like that. I am not sure that is actually Rudy sitting behind me but it looks like him. This person also resembles another guy I used to see at RaR. That guy, for whatever reason, was always the only dude at a table with 5 or 6 women, all of them scorchingly beautiful. So I don’t know who this person here is but guess what, it does not matter.
It is quiet here, unlike previous visits.
I had a somewhat elaborate correspondence yesterday with an artist who was looking for payphones. She is probably sorry she asked me, since I am non-stop on this subject matter. But I think I was helpful. She was not particularly appreciative of my expertise (hah) but it’s all good. It was, for the moment, nice to have someone to talk to. I do enjoy the brief conversations I have with a certain bartender friend but, of course, those talks are brief and one must be efficient in talking to someone working behind a bar.
Aha, a boat load of kids just arrived. Let the noise begin. Was not planning to be here long, just wanted to see how the atmosphere was. It’s no Rose Reading Room but it’s alright.
