NYT Happiness
It can be hard to know what to believe and what is pablum, but I can find little with which to disagree in this column. It’s funny how in the comments a few people try to take umbrage and say this is all bullshit, but in so doing they actually seem to substantiate the conclusions reached here. Mutual independence is, I think, the key to success in any union, and when one party declares that the other is the center of their universe that signals an unhealthy and insecure relationship. It makes one person solely responsible for the other’s happiness and, more significantly, their misery.
Coincidentally a friend of mine just described in broad strokes travel plans for he and his wife. They are both going to do their own things, separately, in the limited time available. She’s going to some art shows, he’s going to thrift shops. That’s not just how a sane couple travels together. It is how they have a life together.
“‘You are my everything’ is not the best recipe for a happy marriage.” Research his team will present next month at the annual conference of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology found that having supportive friendships is associated with more satisfying marriages, even among couples already content with the support they get from each other. “Even the happiest couples have something to gain by nurturing relationships with people outside their marriage,” he said.
Source: For a Better Marriage, Act Like a Single Person – The New York Times
