My usual lunch routine is to get outside for at least half of the hour. I visit the pools, I used to play the piano at the public space on Maiden Lane but they don’t let you do that anymore. I think that is because one particular person just overdid it on that thing. She was horrible. Sometimes I dick around with the nearest LinkNYC kiosks, other times I’ll venture as far afield as 77 Water Street to check on the payphones there.

None of that today, or not much at least. I did go out for a hot dog and coffee but returned quicker than usual. Quicklier. I feel weird about this job. It’s going nowhere. It is a job that, in itsself, cannot possibly go anywhere. Not for me, that is. I have zero aspirations to fail up at this place. I want something where it feels like I belong. I’m an outsider here. Of course that is by design. I do not want anyone here knowing anything about me. I only opened up to one person and I’m content in believing she has no memory of it.

I had strange thoughts this morning about what would happen if I had sex again with a certain ex. I don’t know where this came from. I have not seen or talked to her in a long time. I shouldn’t even go here, it’s too dangerous.

But the thoughts and imagineerings were pretty crazy. She would be awesome.

Hmm, out of time quicker than expected. Quicklier.