The ambitious project of renovating the bathrooms here has made one thing obvious. I and others are going to have to seek other options. The FiDi isn’t the worst place to summon a clean, well-maintained shitter. But there is a matter of distance, which can be a spine-weaking journey when one really needs to defecate and the nearest outlet is 2 city blocks away, and possibly closed for maintenance.
They have basically cut our quantity of shitters in half, increasing the likelihood that one will have a noisy shit-splatter in close proxitmity to a colleague or co-worker. I happen tobe experiencing a mild bout of diarrhea the past few days. I don’t want to inflict that vulgar, horse-piss sounding exhaust of blackened liquid within earshot, or earshit, of anyone who would recognize me and gossip about the new windows we have into our co-workers’ shitting profile.
I’m thinking Oculus, Brookfield Place, and some other safe locations where there is enough noise to drown out even the most fire-hose seeming sound of a 20-second blast of liquid vileness. I remember shitting at the Lincoln Memorial, worried that what I knew was coming from my innards would overwhelm the room and cause people to exit their stalls asphyxiating and weeping tears of excruciating toxicity.
But the place was well-suited for my event. So much noise and upward exhaust from fans and general people yelling, I think there was music playing, I could have shit louder than the thundercaps and felt like a minnow about it.
The shitters at this workplace are way more intimate than the Lincoln Memorial. There will be a lot of us learning a lot about each other’s shit habits.