For starters: I hated it. For enders: I had to leave early after some weird shit in my brain made me want to pass out or drop dead (the latter would have been easier). I don’t know what happened but near the end of Act I there was a sudden change in the lighting of the stage and my head spiraled away from my body. The last thing I remember was when someone brought a plunger out onto the stage. Nothing to do with that in particular or other irrevencies, but something commanded me to get the fuck out of that theater, and I obeyed that command.
I may have been experiencing some anxiety about the audience participation segment of the production. God, I loathe shows which depend on audience participation, particularly the “pop quiz” form of the genre whence front-row denizens are targeted as willing participants (i.e., easy pickins). I had this sense that I might be next, since I stupidly purchased a seat right at the lip of the stage.

I hated the production, though. I mean, visceral hate. That’s nothing to do with the performers, who were excellent on every basis. But my seat was, I only discovered upon getting there, in a spot which largely obscured the stage, as i was sitting behind the piano player.

and the most persistent annoyance was that one of the women on the stage looked so much like an ex-gf of mine that i triple-checked her name in the Playbill not expecting to find her real name but another variation on her stage name. The girl I knew looked so much like the girl on stage that i thought she might have moved on from her previous form of celebrity to Broadway. this girl resembled the ex all the way down to the fat spots, if you know what i mean. i don’t say that with any unkindness intended. it’s just that the ex was on tv a lot, and her imperfections were exaggerated by the cameras and the hoarse lights drenched over her. this girl was no different, and even worse in some ways with the unflattering attentions of the spotlight. the spotlight did not flatter her, but she still looked like the beautiful girl i once knew.

o, God, i had to leave that place.

this is why i only get seats on the aisle for these things. i didn’t bother anyone with my exeunt, which would have happened no matter where i sat on this day.

it felt like my brain’s oxygen was depleted.

i got into the lobby and saw a dozen or so ushers, sitting around reading books and doing nothing. maybe i should get that job. that’s the lesson learned from this day: i should get a job as an usher. i need to catch up on my reading.

…..