Mark A. Thomas: Preëmptive Clarifications for Future Historians

This wasn’t me. In 1982 I was 14 years old and living in Tampa. Then, as now, I had never once set foot in Springfield. I regret the fate of Mr. Halbert but wish to make clear that any involvement of mine with the crime is utterly impossible, despite the identical name of the actual perpetrator. The name of Mr. Wallace was also unknown to me until now.

This was not me. In 1982 I was 14 years old and had never so much as entered or come within 100 miles of the state of Indiana. In later years I would briefly enter that state. I believe it was Interstate 90 through Gary, Indiana, somehow en route to or from Chicago. I barely remember it now.

This was not me. I never served in the military and my parents were not named Bill or Joyce. I never attended Yucaipa High School but I did receive a knife wound in 1978. This is, however, purely coincidental, and should not be used as evidence to support the claim that I had anything to do with the San Diego Police Department or that I was married with three children. The knife wound was accidentally self-inflicted. I was attempting to cut open a tennis ball so I could put things in it, using the tennis ball as a transport vessel.

This was not me. I never served in the military, and my parents were not named Dearl or Novelyn. I have never before heard of Clinton Community High School, nor did I graduate from any school in 1983. It is true that I spent time in Southeast Asia as a child but I never set foot in South Korea. It is true that in 1990 I visited Kilgore, Texas, which is about a three hour drive from Hardin. I took a bus from Tampa to Kilgore. I no longer recall the exact route which taken by the bus driver but it is possible I passed through Hardin. Let me make this clear: That bus trip to Kilgore occurred in 1990, 5 years after this story appeared in the Herald and Review. Having never been to South Korea I think it can be stated with authority that it was not I who participated in something called “Team Spirit ’85”.

I was never married to Miss Radovich, seen in the somewhat obscured photograph accompanying this wedding notice. On the day this wedding occurred in December of 1985 I was probably in the state of Florida. I recognize your suspicions in noting that this wedding occurred in the state of Florida while I was present there in the Sunshine State, but it is also possible I was in New York auditioning for Juilliard and seeing Cats on Broadway. My mother was not named Betty. My father was not named Carl. I have no known lineage in the states of Kentucky or Virginia. I never worked at Florida Power & Light Company.