Alright, then, back on the ferris wheel of life, or rather the trampoline, the Weeble that can’t not wobble. Feeling fine now but guilty, and undeserving of anything. Wrote some stuff from home, now writing again at the ghetto coffee shop, which isn’t really all that ghetto except once in a while when someone walks in talking on their phone about how so-and-so brought a gun home and she doesn’t know where he got it, and on and on. I don’t know how long I’ll stay dry this time but I’m guessing until Monday, since a friend and I planned to meet up that day for beers. But I can always just do seltzer and lime, which is fortunately among my favorite concoctions.
You know what my favorite sound is? It’s when you activate the Samsung Gear VR headset, or when you put it over your head. There’s this brief slip of a sound that I could hear over and over without it getting tired.
I rearranged and fixed up some things in the shower. I wrapped the field recorder in a Ziploc bag, with holes punched around the spots where the power plug and headphones plug in. The headphones are actually mics, the 3D/binaural kind I so love. I also scrubbed the stains off the floor of the tub, and after clearing that I put down a small bath mat. The thing about the stains is that an ex-gf came over a few months ago and, for whatever reason, I explained that I had recently begun sitting in the shower and that it had been one of the best fundamental changes I’ve ever made with regard to such a central part of my routine. She pointed out that the black, sooty looking swirls were evidence of where my butthole had been digging in at the tub. I tried to deny it but how could I?
That was months ago but I finally got around to remedying the ever-increasing mark left on the floor by my butt and extremities. A bath mat should prevent that stain from forming, right? Well, we shall see, but whatever happens the stains were easy enough to wipe away, and will be again should they reappear.
If I did not feel the typical sense of extraordinary relief after taking the pills today it is probably because I did not let the panic attack grow to full force, as I typically do. Now I just need to plan my night around keeping busy. There is a radio show I’ve been listening in on, I think it’s called “Hacker Radio” and I find it at times engaging and at other times arrogant in that smarter-than-you way of certain people with any kind of technical skills. It makes me realize why, as much as I might have been a fit in such a community as that, I never was and never wanted to be. But I’ll give the show another listen. After the jingle thing broke I thought they might pick up on it, discussing whether or not my technique constituted a hack or a prank or something else. I don’t care what you call it. But the subject never came up on their show, as far as I can tell, and I only marginally thought it might. They do an awful lot of fundraising on that show.