Not much time this day. The downtown express was a 12 minute wait. I did not flirt with the Fort Totten woman today. Was not on my game. Still uneasy in a way about flirting with someone when I do not know what she looks like and cannot readily understand her through the English-as-a-thirtieth-language thing.

Spotted Lanternflies are everywhere down here. We squish with abandon but what’s the payoff? I guess if we did not squish away they’d be causing problems, covering windows and who knows what else. Word is there was a swarm of thousands of them at the Oculus last week. Must be all the crops and forestry.

I remain transfixed by one woman online, the professional masturbator among millions such women who has me hooked. She seems to get the game, all the way down to the boners she raises across the planet.

With so many to choose from why her? It’s obvious to me now but it wasn’t so at first. The resemblance between her and the younger version of a woman I dated a few years ago is uncanny. I see pictures of that ex-gf/dalliance from her 20s and 30s and see this woman online as the doppelganger. Her sweetness and coy routines are the stuff of my fantasies with respect to the version of her I actually ended up with. Still beautiful but only with her clothes on. To make things work I focused, obsessively, on the parts that had always been visible. While sitting at the bar talking I’d look at the whiteness of her shoulders, the cuteness of her fingers, and on some days I’d positively salivate over her flip-flopped feet.

Finally getting her clothes off revealed nothing as inspiring as these parts. Quite the opposite. As great a disappointment as any of my adult life.

Why do I carry on with this? I do not know.

I guess it depends on your sources but it seems DJT is permanently in the news everywhere. My take on his holding on to those classified documents is that maybe he really does believe the fantasy that he is still the president, that he was illegally deposed, and that he still has the powers of the office. That’s a scary scenario. But so are a lot of things. Nuclear near-disaster in Ukraine. Putin not well. Biden barely alive. Solopsistically I see myself as nothing, not existing, no relevance to anything. Not even a tiny member of an invasive species.

I mean who says humans are not invasive? Who says white men from Europe are not invasive of North America? Maybe the SLFs are here to squish us all.