I visited 77 Water on lunch break today. The radio cards fit most perfectly into those phones. No bending, they almost look like they are supposed to be there. I doubt anyone knows but I wrote “212-255-2748” on the sticker with the phone number on it. Why have I not been doing that all along? Well, because it’s vandalism. But if the phone’s dead I don’t have scruples about such a gesture as this.
Took an upsetting call from someone who, despite circumstances, seemed poised and ready to move on. She claims her landlord and super rape her routinely, usually around the end of the month. She’s been to the cops, the support services, all the seemingly right resources. But she still is in that place, the same building as her rapists.
Rape is a trigger for me because I was raped. For the most part I don’t tell the women I’m with these days about it. They don’t believe a man can be raped., and the deliberate explanation of how and why a man can indeed be raped by a woman are too ugly for to have to recount. Just say that if a man is being ordered what to do, being physically pressured and humiliated by the prospect of not doing what he is told he can do what must be done. He can get erect even without desire. He can do what he is told.
But it’s not a trigger for selfish reasons. I’ve never understood rape. How something soft and giving can be performed out of anger, and violence. It’s never made sense to me.
