This does not feel like a day off when much of it is spent calling, recalling, and re-recalling doctors, pharmacy, and others over stuff that just cannot seem to get done. A prescription refill? They always brag about how efficient their online portal is, how you never need to make a call. So why have I had to make repeated calls just to get routine prescription refills? It’s tiresome and boring. I know, first world problems but when thing are supposed to work and make your life better in some way, and it just backfires and makes you feel like an idiot, it’s worth expelling what little bit of angst and bile it merits.

I was up at 5:15am, ambitiously thinking this would be a productive day of reaching out to the outside world that has seemed so impossible to me. I applied for a job online, later finding that over 5000 people had applied for that job through one job portal alone. Me thinks applying for that job was a waste of time, even though I am careful about applying for jobs that actually match my background and interests. Why am I getting paid to do anything? I don’t deserve anything.

I took two big, huge shits today.