I am not at my usual spot for the morning strawberries and meaningless prattle. All the tables and charis were removed from for use at some event last night. I think it was Family Night, where people brought their kids or spouses in to have free cake and booze. This situation means I am back on the floor where I used to do these morning typings, but so far no one else is present. I am here earlier than usual, in advance of 4 inches of rain that the radio made it sound like it would start at any freakin’ moment. It should not be like last week’s obscenity of rain but enough to make this a Saturday better spent at the office than out of doors. I would say better spent “indoors” but that implies that my apartment would be a desirable option, when it is not. There is nothing wrong with the place, it just feels claustrophobic after all the years. It is not physically claustrophobic, although I could stand to clear the desk. It’s just too much of the same all at once all the time. All the wasted days are still there, not moving, not letting themselves be forgotten. Each wasted day has a body, with a mouth and arms and everything needed to be ambulatory and functional. But they sit. Tirelessly empty, unaccomplished. I don’t like living with my wasted days.

I seem to have slept well, if the tell-tale three-quarter-hard boner is any clue. My only reason for thinking that morning wood is a sign of good health is a line from the movie “Kiss of the Spider Woman,” where one dude sees the other wake up with a boner and he says that means he is “healthy.” It could mean that, or it could mean nothing. A doctor once told me you want to wake up like that, so you know everything down there still works and will work when you need it. Wise doctor that?

Anticipating more rain I did something I don’t remember ever doing. I spent money on an umbrella. I have probably spent $1 or $2 on those black single-use contraptions whose salesmen appear the moment a drop of rain lands. But this time I went in on a relatively expensive, oversized thing that contracts into a very small size. Unfortunately Amazon took its time shipping the thing and it will not get here until after today’s rain. But it could be interesting to have, for once in my life, a quality umbrella that I did not find left at an ATM or bummed from a bartender (bars always have umbrellas left behind by others to give out when it rains). I doubt it will be any more durable or lasting than a cheap umbrella but one can dream, one can imagine that this brief flight to luxury will reward me somehow.

I tried YouTube live again yesterday. It’s not very good. Video quality is grainy, and I have what T-Mobile claims is 5G UC, whatever the hell that means. It should be plenty of bandwidth… Actually I just did SpeedTest and find upload speeds from this phone barely hit 30Mbps. Download speed is 300Mbps, which rivals my home Fios wired internet. But home Fios upload is also 300, which is why live video from there is worth doing. Live video from this phone on this carrier is not worth it. I keep getting spam from YT telling me to increase my audience but why would I do that when they said my content was poor quality and that they will not be monetizing it? Just be myself and enjoy the free platform.

Speaking of bandwidth I find that one of my long-desired projects is, for now, up in smoke. I was posting 24-hour webcam captures to archive.org, because it seemed right up their alley. Apparently it is not up their alley, because their alley has become too slow to make the project tenable. Originally, an upload of a 24-hour capture might take a couple of hours. Suddenly, it changed. Uploading a 24-hour capture could literally take 24 hours given how little bandwidth is now available. Uploads to other sites work fine.

I just followed up on that 30Mbps and whether it’s enough bandwidth for good quality live streaming. Sources indicate it should be perfectly adequate for 1080p quality. But it is not.

I may have slept well because I showered last night. A pre-bedtime shower is like a sauna that expels impurities from the flesh. At least I like to think of it as that. It is also dangerous. So many routine things in life are dangerous. Slip and fall in the tub and you’ll never be the same. I sit in the tub when I shower, but I have to stand to get out, obviously, and that maneuver carries risks. I also have been nervous when stepping up on a ladder. I read an account from an emergency department doctor who said almost every day someone who had been perfectly ambulatory and normal suddenly was paralyzed or disabled because they fell off a ladder. Didn’t have to be a tall ladder, either. And you know, ladders do feel dangerous. I step up onto a 2-step ladder to adjust my 24-hour live webcam, and even that feels like I might slip and break my ass wide open. Imagine going to the emergency department with a broken ass.

So many dangers, though. Ticks. One bite and you’re sick for life. I have to poop.

It is 8:09. Sometimes I would have just arrived at this place. Already I’ve been here 40 minutes. The seating situation is annoying, and I can tell people on this floor are looking at me asking why is he back on this floor?