Nothing. Nowhere. Jump from high places. Now. Never. Always. Dry your eyes, they were never wet. Dry your eyes. Be threadbare. Eat diamonds. Hug a trolley car. Dance with the grenade thrown at you. Rewrite your death certificate with frivolous assertions and witty asides. Hold your hand too tightly. Navigate the idiosyncrasies of a stranger’s pants. Reconsider your reaction next time a long time asks for the first time if you have pornography to share. Drain greenness from soaked ten dollar bills. Heap spoonfuls of sand and dirt on the body of a murdered cartoon character. Request passage to a waterfall. Brand yourself with a registered trademark. Move through time like a failed zombie. Covertly document your every masturbation for posthumous distribution worldwide. Look at the eyes and mouths around you and ask why none look at or speak to you. Violate norms of desperation. Let your eyes follow art hidden in everyday surfaces and floors. Dry your eyes, then get them wet with bloody tears of a floozy. Feel the shirt on your back, the pants on your legs. Feel them hug and consume you. Sit on a high chair, your feet suspended in air. Read carefully the ingredients of that candy bar, I think it’s poison and will cause you instant discomfort. My morning began with brushing the teeth of a shark, who swallowed my hands and used them to write an opera about biscuits. Scratch that biscuit’s back. Batch that scrack. Indicate that a strawberry nuisance has sowed confusion among cranberries. Listen to the ways trees communicate among each other, and participate in the discussion in a way that guides all involved toward a mutual suicide pact. Curse at a nun, gesture rudely at a child. Fill empty seats with bags of worms. Stuff a lit cigarette into a stuffed animal’s eye. Sear and then eat your compassion for mediocrity. Get a haircut from a blind mime. Wait for water to stop flowing. Wait for slow boil. Dry your eyes with the boiling water. Concentrate on orange things. Remonstrate against wealth disparity simply so you can use the word remonstrate. Choke on hesitations of a poor public speaker delivering meaningless streams of commentary to transient cuckolds. Lick your newest friend where no one else will. Lick