I should spend this day standing in a public place, staring at my shoes on the floor where I placed them, walking in circles around the shoes and singing unintelligible ditties. All day I should do this. Because that appears to be what someone is doing right now in the passage that connects Fulton Center to the Oculus. I don’t know if she will really be there all day but the atmosphere around her seemed to commnuicate that she was settled in for the long haul. Why am I, with this precious gift of a day, not performing this ritual or something like it? It would likely create a more valuable contribution to society than anything else I am likely to accomplish this day.
At least I have new pear stems. New? Actually they’re old and have been lying around on the bedroom floor for probably a couple of months. They fall from my shirt pocket when I take off the shirt but I guess I do not notice it in that moment. These pear stems will join several others as I fulfill my quest to populate every window stool in this place with two pear stems, one on each end of the stool. Some of these have been removed and I can’t imagine why or who would have the motivation to or observational acumen to see them and manually dispose of them. When I first started placing pear stems around this workplace I was surprise when some of them disappeared from what I thought were obscure and overlooked locations. One vanished from a small, narrow space between a staircase and the wall next to it. When it went missing I was so surprised I stood on that stairwell for several moments, making certain the pear stems were gone. As I continued down the stairs I heard people asking “What the heck is he looking for down there?” I never responded, as they did not address the question to me.
I’m starting to think I will never make any lasting connections here. I want to quit one day, in a way that I just disappear without any social formalities or niceties. From day 1 at this job I made clear to myself that no one should know anything about my life outside of this place. I’ve let on very little about myself but even that is too much. I don’t know who anyone here is save for the people in my immediate circles. I remember at about the 1-year mark someone mentioned there was a “Senior Manager” here. To this day I have no idea who that is. I know who the top guy here is but there are evidently numerous layers of “seniorness” that have passed me by.
I had to unplug the piano music from the live webcam. In fact, I never really wanted it there, as I knew it would invite troubules with bots that know not of what they speak. I uploaded Payphone Radio audio to a new Shoutcast server last night, but am not sure it all processed correctly. Looks like only half the tracks got uploaded. Working on it but not too much as I’m at the workplace that does not pay a living wage so I excuse myself for getting distracted.
Why don’t I just go outside and stare at my shoes, singing and daancing around them?