Nothing useful to do. THis seems to be the prize for this adjusted schedule that has me here 4 days a week. Longer hours per day, with the early hours virtually devoid of anything meaningful to do. I’m going to try something new. Typically I play video games that pay out small amounts of money for watching ads. It was actually really entertaining for a while, certain of the games were surprisingly engaging, and the occasional $5 gift card was nothing to deny myself. But it is burning holes in my brain. The thrill is gone. I’ve maintained that I cannot do creative work at this position, in this situation. I’m not being paid to do it. I’ll never make a dime off this website or anything else I do besides work. Most of my output is worthless drivel. But I do have things to say, messages to speak, incantations to instantiate.

It is sanctioned that playing video games or just dicking around on your phones is OK here. Nobody cares unless it gets interferes with your job, which it never has for me. They claim they will set up clandestine surveillance camers to monitor your activity if they suspect your phone use interferes with your work. I don’t know if they ever did that.

Got a laugh out of my medical portal, where they list all my past and upcoming appointments. With the headshots of the doctors next to every appointment it felt like I was looking at a dating app. All my doctors are women now, Gen Z or thereabouts, and for the most part I trust them. I foolishly let on that years ago I was told I might have macular degeneration. Testing for it is tiresome and intrusive. They dilate your pupils which makes reading almost impossible, at least for me. I remember when I first got the possible diagnosis, my first thought was to blog about it, slap ads all over the experience and make a shitt on of money. It did not work out like that. I barely wrote about the experience at all and finally gave up getting tested for it when no progress in the dewgeneration was detected after several years.I tend to believe the abnormalities in my retina are from damage caused by looking into a solar eclipse when I was a kid. Whatever it is, I unwittingly enlisted the enthusiasms of two eye doctors who expect me to get tested regularly for the rest of my life, I guess. The rest of my life… What does that even mean?

I got a rejection email for a job I could have done blindfolded. Stupid easy job for stupid people like me. I wanted it part time, but I don’t get it. I’ve applied numerously and this is the only reply I can remember getting, at least in the past several months. The MTA always sends a rejection but most employers do not. I’m not desperate for work by any means, I just need to make a living wage. I should stop whining about this.

I just contacted a payphone warrior friend who wants to do a substantive project of historical import. I’m there to help, if she really wants to do this.She is mmoving back to New York sometime this month. Maybe we’ll be friends, or something.

I just had one of those separation-of-states moments when I almost started typing these personal ramblings onto the work computer keyboard. That could get messy.