Since yesterday I’ve felt a rotting inside. I should not have revisited memories of that woman. She woke up things inside of me I never knew were there. Most of it was not good. What rots inside me should stay rotted and alone. She made me see happiness. I threw it away. Didn’t want it. Couldn’t handle it. I walked, didn’t run. She made me live in an ocean. Everything was water, salt, and sea. We swam like trucks on unpaved streets. Where she still makes my mouth water and my body react is where emptiness repeats. Remembering the unsparing air of her touch, the taste of her voice, the forgiveness of her. Return to rotten. Return to the ocean.