Yesterday. All I wanted was to move. Up at 6am I made short order of grocery shopping. I am consistently being awarded the Senior Discount even though I am not 62, and I do not feel close to 62. I don’t even fuck old but I...

Feeling much better this day after the last, which was torturous at times. Felt like I’d been eating tree branches. Innards asunder, ass under. Crazy dreams came from that, reminding me of the one strip I could never...

Working Thanksgiving Day, same as I did last year. Works for me. I’m no fan of holidays. Weird dreams last night. I was in a receiving area adjacent to the Trump Tower. Many of us worked there and knew the grounds but many...

el fine today after a few days of feeling like I’d been eating tree branches for breakfast lunch and dinner. I read some random source saying that everyone should stop taking Omeprazole immediately. I’ve taken it...

Have so much on my mind these days, yet so little to show for it. No action. All thought funnels, emptying into an indifferent sky. I don’t want to talk about most of it, but I do write about it offline, for my...

This spot has taken on some kind of meaning to me. It’s where I sit most workday morning, for about 45 minutes, typing forgettable accounts of the previous days’ adventures and heroics. At this time I am recording...

Yesterday I walked, but I don’t see how 27k+ steps is even possible. More importantly, I nearly choked yesterday on a sandwich. It was at the Myrtle/Willoughby G train station in Brooklyn. Nobody around, really, and I had...

Yesterday I made it up to Mount Vernon West on the Metro North. Nice ride up, a bit of a mess on the return, in between I scoped out (what else?) payphones. I found more than expected. Well, put it another way. I knew there...

I arose at 5am, after lying wide awake since 4:30. Two days ago this would have been an hour later. I made use of the time, but now I am at work earlier than ever. No problem. I encountered the Marathon yesterday. Props to the...

On Wednesday, I went up to the Bronx, to an area which, on one map at least, would have been called Laconia. I had intended to walk from there to Co-Op City but it was cold and I just didn’t feel the joy. The 5 train from...

Word comes fast these days. Almost immediately. Whose turn is next? Yours? Your nemesis? Mine? Last month, I learned that an acquaintance from long ago died in his sleep. No cause given, at least not in any circles I could...

Walking the walk, thinking about the unpaid time spent commuting to and from work. Ways to make it productive. Take notes? Document? Walking from Broadway toward Gold Street, I briefly challenged myself to document something I...

What an obscure comparison. Like I’m comparing a pharma to a shoe. The only reason I noticed today that the manufacturer of the Lorazepam I take has changed was because the pills are now twice or even 2.5 times the size of...

Nothing crazy, really. Was watching some porn and the music playing sounded vaguely like “Crazy Little Thing Called Love,” but there was and is nothing crazy to report, I don’t think. I slept poorly. I’ve...

With the first umbrella I can remember ever paying more than $1 for, and with waterproof boots in place, I am ready for the rain. The new umbrella will be bigger than any I’ve ever owned. 53 inches, I think? I will use it...

It did not lead to too much kerfuffle for me but I had no idea until I got to the office that today was Columbus Day. In fact I did not know until I got all the way upstairs and looked it up. I did not want to appear ignorant by...

I am not at my usual spot for the morning strawberries and meaningless prattle. All the tables and charis were removed from for use at some event last night. I think it was Family Night, where people brought their kids or...

When I received an email from someone saying she was in Masbate City, I thought it had to be a joke. Where was the “tur” splicing apostrophe? Mas’bate City? Alas, there really is a Masbate City, but the...

I don’t remember now why I intended to title this posting with the letter L. I don’t know what I am anymore. I walked yesterday. It was hot, but among the midtown skyscrapers I had trouble finding places sun could...

Like a lot of people, I knew rain was coming, but had no idea it would be the most rain in one day since the 1970s (I think I read that somewhere). Flooding in all the usual places but a few surprises, I guess? Highways and...

Rain is worse than I thought. Waterfalls in subway stations, oh my. I thought it was just going to be steady rain but it’s coming down fast and angry. Maybe not at this moment. Within this office building I am blessedly...

It seems my days off, with one memorable exception, all happen to land on beautiful weather days, this amid stormy weather patterns that last for days. Lucky me. Sunday is said to be mid-70s and sunny. Today and tomorrow are...

Finding a decent pair of socks proved to be quite a challenge this morning. I found one pair after another, artfully stuffed into itself by laundromat personnel, but every pair seemed to have large and capacious holes. These...

I get to work early most days. I sit in one of the break rooms and I type. Today I type these words. In earlier days I typed other words. Different words. Someone unfamiliar to me adrressed me by name a few moments ago. I...

Is life really full of extremes? Some days it seems so. But then I think on it and define that what seems extreme today was routine yesterday, and will be so tomorrow. Sitting naked on the bathtub floor today, showered by...

I think the last 5 days of feeling the life inside me stagnate and form self-gripping fists of self-loathing and disdain have passed for now. I don’t even look at mirrors anymore. I don’t like what I see. But I feel...

I took 2 days off from work, combined with two regular days off amounting to 4 days unmoored. 4 days of not knowing what to do or where to go. Sunday and Monday were rain days, which seemed to enhance whatever feeling of misery...

I had heard the news but somehow it never seemed like a time to take advantage. I felt like a bit of a n00b yesterday in using, for the first time, a MetroCard to get to Nassau County via the NICEBUS. There is one bus from...

No W at all this AM, and the N was running only every 20+ minutes, or so it seemed. The 7:24 was uncommonly packed, but not insufferably so. I ventured around again yesterday, this time being more cautious about the heat. Sunday...

One of the reasons I welcomed working at an office again after 20 years of doing my own thing was relying on someone else to pay for things like air conditioning, or letting someone else manage the computer network, or letting...

I was looking forward to the 90-degree heat. Maybe I should have tamped that enthusiasm. I had no idea where I might want to go, where to spend part of the day. Listlessly I checked on the Little Free Library and the Community...

Sartorially I feel a little different than usual. Brand new shirt. Have not had one of those in over a year. Short sleeves with no pocket. Not tuckable. Casual but classy. I think I’d been wearing the same pants for a...

I’m a little late today, only an hour early versus the usual 1.5 or so. In a previous post I think I mentioned that I saw a woman on the subway who I had not seen for months. She is interesting to me for her art and...

Word on the radio was that subways were a disaster all around. I had no problems. Seems delays were all about the 1/2/3, I think, and of course the new and never-ending F/M debacle. I purchased a cheap piece of technology, with...

My morning routine had come to settle on 16 ounces of strawberries and a single banana. I neglected the banana, thinking it might go bad overnight or over 2 days. Here I am bananaless. Sans banana. I am in a state of NON-BANANA....

Dude who sells me strawberries, once in a while, will ask a whole lot of questions. Today he asked why I go to work so early. In an earlier episode he had asked what time my job starts. I told him 9am. He obviously remembered...

The new gig at the same company started yesterday. I’m in training now, which has periods of abject boredom that drive me to near panic. That happened a lot during the first rounds of training last year. I blacked out huge...

My first day on the new division. Not certain where to go or when to log in. I don’t care too much about all this, the change of job function. It’s the same task just not as urgent or anxiety-stoking. Yesterday sent...

It’s probably not worth getting terrifically excited about. But for the moment I’m happy as ass. Mobing to the new division of this company at last, something like 9 months after being told I would start in 2 weeks....

Got here maybe a half hour earlier than usual. Nobody here. I could work this shift if I asked nicely. The overnight. I might have been wired for that in earlier years but not anymore. It’s also hard to get. Folks on the...

Things finally moving again at the workplace. I don’t like to blab on about work but I’ve become happy here. That’s not my normal disposition. I don’t talk about it much because no one wants to hear from...

I was engaged in a pitifully mundane task. Punching 19 digits and a 4-digit PIN to see how much money was left on an Applebee’s gift card that’s been in my wallet for something like 7 years. Sitting outside the...

Baisley Pond Park had been on my list of things to see for I don’t know how long. Hard to say why, except that it is there, on a map, looking strangely enticing. I chose a perhaps misbegotten route, from the A train...

That word came to mind yesterday when someone mentioned my websites to me. I update this one but few people know of it. The payphone site, though, that’s become a thingamabob. I don’t know where websites fit in to...

As habits go mine is probably typical. I think highly of myself, but quickly quash that instinct with post-natal discoveries of weakness, character flaws, arrogances and fallibilities. I am nothing. I do not inhabit or inform...

I was looking at a woman on the N train yesterday. She was small, occupied minimal space, and seemed to move only when necessary. Whatever that means. Her purse was smaller than some of the pockets in my new messenger bag, her...

Something biting my arm and squeezing the back of my neck felt so real I had to wake up twice and shine light on my arm to be certain no creature or other had sunk its teeth or claws into me. Through the nearly rigor-mortis...

Coming in on a Saturday after 3 days off feels… off. I’m still peeved at missing Oppenheimer, but I’ll get over it. For the prices those tickets run I would have expected a reminder email. Seriously. I got...

It is not the first time since it reopened that I’ve been here but it’s the first time I arrived intending to stay more than a few gawking minutes at the Rose Main Reading Room. This is the old Rose. I guess. They...

Plums and a banana. Not the ritual one pound of strawberries I had started to question my allegiance to. A pound of plums costs about the same as the strawberries, and takes up a lot less space in my bag seeing as it is not...

I’ve entered into a new correspondence with an artist/pornographer/ We talk freely about sex, masturbation, her breasts. SHe has the most active mind of any woman I can remember having met through any of the porn sites....

If it lives up to my hype, this could be a day for the record books, or a day to point at and say that this is when I decided to stay at this company for longer than anticipated. I’ve already been here longer than...

At the 175th Street A train station yesterday. It used to be my everyday station. 30 years ago, I think. I was surprised at how the station looks exactly the same today as I remember it all those years ago. The same yellowish...

I go into a certain marketplace around here for one reason. I want to know what the woman I used to be pretty flirty with looks like. I have never seen her without a mask, and she uses masks to cover about as much of her face as...

Maybe this insurance I have, said to be about as good as it gets in the working world, isn’t all that. I did get 5-figures worth of dental work done for nothing paid by me. There is that, and that had been on my list of...

I am wearing strange-to-me underwear. It’s not my usual loose-fit. It’s not clamping my junk but it’s tighter than usual. But it’s fine. The more interesting detail is how I came into possession of a set...

I’m still thinking about Joe. I suppose I will be for a long time, for all time. An enduring, virtually constant presence for over 23 years. Always magnanimous with his thoughts and praise for others. I had always thought...

Saturdays did not used to be such a mess. One time I ended up walking from the Brooklyn Bridge/City Hall station but that was no problem. Today everything was a mess. The N only went as far as Queensboro Plaza, so I thought...

I didn’t expect such rain. Exiting at Fulton and Dey it was pouring rain. No one seemed to have expected it. Nary an umbrella in sight. I had time, though. Being over an hour early every day has its advantages at times...

A stramble up Hillside way turned into a bit of a mess yesterday. I wanted to bake in the 90-degree sun but not quite like this. Felt I had no control over anything. All the while I was assaying this area as if I might move...

It might have been considered cute. Naked in the shower, masturbating, trying to share the joy with like-minded, similarly engaged individuals around the world. But I couldn’t figure out the technology. The hardware (huh...

I did not write anything here yesterday, as I do most workdays. I was, by my standards, a little late. For me being an hour early is being late. I was late enough that my equilibrium tipped. The day before yesterday I made it to...

I don’t know where I am. I’m here. Present and accounted. But I’m just floating. I roam city streets with no awareness of the present. Is this a dangerous location? Am I being stared at? Am I being secretly...