Feeling small. Like nothing at all. Decisions made but no consequence that registers on any scope. I sprayed more mold-killer today. The showers now feel antiseptic clean. White. Maybe this disguises the blackness of things....

I had to do something few would likely ever consider. I had to remove the surveillance camera from my bathtub. I was not forced into it. But there will be maintenance people coming through my place this week and next to fix the...

I woke with scratches on my face, something that used to be more common but has not happened lately. I did not even discover this until exiting the shower and finding blood all over my left hand. A few shots of Bactine (expired...

I had to leave work yesterday. I don’t know what was happening. I don’t get the kind of burning anxiety, where it truly feels like I am on fire. I don’t get that as long as I take the proper pills. But I still...

Suddenly everyone here knows me. Knows my name. I didn’t have that in mind when I took this gig. Wanted to sneak in, sneak out, none the wiser. I took a strange survey last night. Questions could have been skipped but I...

I was sore yesterday in places I had no reason to be sore. I think it’s the contortional-esque positions I assume in the shower now. Especially the night showers, when the vokda could have me feeling more limber than I...

is that I do not have to be there. No requirements. No demands.

A Sunday spent mostly alone, wholey alone, puttering around decades-old emails and sorting the years. 1996 was interesting, at least based on the emails. Multiple correspondants, lots of women coming after me, most of them I...

But when has that ever stopped me? Slept straight to the 6am alarm. I prefer to beat the alarm but the night’s restlessness made compromise seem inevitable. Noise from the overnight rain kept me waking to a point where I...

Just got thrust into a situation that could have made me hyperventilate if I had neglected to take the BP and anxiety meds. In fact, I should have doubled up on the anxiety med once I got word I’d be pulled into this. No...

At work stupid early. No idea why. Was wide awake at 3:30am, barely touched true sleep from then until 5:30, when I gave up and commenced the diurnal routines which shall comprise this precious gift of a day. A funny thing on...

I think this was the longest stretch of time off from work in the year+ since I’ve been here. It’s been 13 months. 4 days off felt like a lifetime, reminding me of normal companies that don’t just allow but...

WIthout fail, successful sleep meets failed. I can barely open my eyes today. Slept straight up to the alarm, which is tantamount to being late, in my book, especially on a weekend. Last night’s commute would have been...

I just played my most satisfying-yet couple of pieces at the 180 Maiden Lane POPS. I was actually audible this time. It was only the usual Philip Glass pieces, and awkwardly, as I never took off my jacket or sat at proper...

It doesn’t happen often, and when it does it is typically followed by consequences. But last night into today saw the finest episode of workweek sleep I can remember. I was what I call “long tired” after a...

I brokkkke and destroyed my screen magnifier. It made typing into this small screen much more palatable, if a little bit gawky in appearance to others. I shall procure another. Until then, I”m back to barely being able to...

I guess I’ll be moving around this company after all. Things move slowly but I’m in no hurry. Wouldn’t be here if I was in a hurry. I don’t know what to do about the woman, the possible love interest. I...

I woke through the night to a smell of Satan. must have been the hamburger meat I unintentionally dumped into the big garbage can, which empties once a week, more or less. Probably maggots in there. Yum. I contained it, I think...

It’s new to my breakfast. Typically I get a few spoonfuls of yogurt, maybe a slice of cheese, and that’s it for at-home breaking of the fast. I’d been spending 6 or 7 bucks a day on scrambled eggs, sausage...

Nothing. Nowhere. Jump from high places. Now. Never. Always. Dry your eyes, they were never wet. Dry your eyes. Be threadbare. Eat diamonds. Hug a trolley car. Dance with the grenade thrown at you. Rewrite your death certificate...

Working hard will land you in the horking ward. That was my spooneristic moment of genius today. Work too hard you get sick and barf. An utterly lifeless attempt at wit but something to get the energies moving. Or not. I feel...

UNDERTRUE – Wrong but not completely without merit OVERTRUE – Truthful in some ways but exaggerated in others. YOUTHY – Someone who thinks they are younger than their real age. None of these can be unique, or...

I don’t hate hearing of it, but it is predictable to hear grousing of one’s morning commute gone wrong. To me it rarely amounts to a problem, since I get to work so early. But it does send me on an unpredictable and...

I read a long blog post from someone talking about growing up in a smallish town in Florida. I grew up in Florida, so on that small basis I identified. There is a mystery in every river, and intrigue about the neighborhood or...

I knew a woman for a number of years. We were uncomfortable together most of the time. Conversation stalled and stilted. Little commonality, as hard as she tried to force it into being. Our common ground was drinking and sex....

I made fun of myself during the day for yesterday’s morning expression of concern for the trek homeward with the predicted vortex blast and my distinct lack of head or face covering. It is less than a half mile (I think) from...

A woman at the Yamaha grand yesterday made me smile, not for her talent but for her guilelessness. The out of tune piano did not help matters, either, but she really sounded like a clown, hacking at the piano with all her heart...

I discovered my trough of hundreds upon hundreds of documents at GDocs. Strange to be so voluminous with so little to really show. I don’t remember much of it, some is a foggy memory. I am reminded, once again, of a couple of...

I’m a creature of habit. A heature of crabit. So when things seemed off this AM I started to question my habitude, my habitudinousness. I couldn’t understand where the light went. I shower with the lights out in the bathroom,...

I finally got Dex to work last night. Dex is supposed to be a killer app that turns your phone into a desktop by simply plugging it into a PC or a giant TV. I got the PC function to work but had to order a USB C to  HDMI...