Flashback: November, 2011

2:02 PM Sunday, November 20, 2011 I noticed something yesterday, about my reaction to the date. Seeing today’s date provokes a bullet-point of fear, or shock. I am not certain how to describe it, but on some electronic...

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Tiny

Feeling small. Like nothing at all. Decisions made but no consequence that registers on any scope. I sprayed more mold-killer today. The showers now feel antiseptic clean. White. Maybe this disguises the blackness of things....

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An Abruption

I used to make up words like this. I still do but not for anyone else’s bemusement. I used...

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I Thought This Would Be Fun. It Was Bothersome.

I was actually starting to have some confidence in the newest version of ChatGPT. I thought asking it to write a poem in the style of Markovian Parallax Denigrate, the gibberish-spewing Usenet mystery from the 1990s, would be a...

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Nothing to say

I had to do something few would likely ever consider. I had to remove the surveillance camera from my bathtub. I was not forced into it. But there will be maintenance people coming through my place this week and next to fix the...

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Almost Late

Things get kicked around. A slab from someone’s pizza ends up where it shouldn’t be, causing alarm. I thought it came from her. She said it was from “beyond.” Either way we handled it with surgical gloves...

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Scratches

I woke with scratches on my face, something that used to be more common but has not happened lately. I did not even discover this until exiting the shower and finding blood all over my left hand. A few shots of Bactine (expired...

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Morning

I had to leave work yesterday. I don’t know what was happening. I don’t get the kind of burning anxiety, where it truly feels like I am on fire. I don’t get that as long as I take the proper pills. But I still...

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The Long Tired

Suddenly everyone here knows me. Knows my name. I didn’t have that in mind when I took this gig. Wanted to sneak in, sneak out, none the wiser. I took a strange survey last night. Questions could have been skipped but I...

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I don’t know

I was sore yesterday in places I had no reason to be sore. I think it’s the contortional-esque positions I assume in the shower now. Especially the night showers, when the vokda could have me feeling more limber than I...

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What was yesterday?

A Sunday spent mostly alone, wholey alone, puttering around decades-old emails and sorting the years. 1996 was interesting, at least based on the emails. Multiple correspondants, lots of women coming after me, most of them I...

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Nothing to say

But when has that ever stopped me? Slept straight to the 6am alarm. I prefer to beat the alarm but the night’s restlessness made compromise seem inevitable. Noise from the overnight rain kept me waking to a point where I...

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Good thing for the meds

Just got thrust into a situation that could have made me hyperventilate if I had neglected to take the BP and anxiety meds. In fact, I should have doubled up on the anxiety med once I got word I’d be pulled into this. No...

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Stupid Early

At work stupid early. No idea why. Was wide awake at 3:30am, barely touched true sleep from then until 5:30, when I gave up and commenced the diurnal routines which shall comprise this precious gift of a day. A funny thing on...

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Four days unmoored

I think this was the longest stretch of time off from work in the year+ since I’ve been here. It’s been 13 months. 4 days off felt like a lifetime, reminding me of normal companies that don’t just allow but...

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Sleep Fail

WIthout fail, successful sleep meets failed. I can barely open my eyes today. Slept straight up to the alarm, which is tantamount to being late, in my book, especially on a weekend. Last night’s commute would have been...

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At the POPS

I just played my most satisfying-yet couple of pieces at the 180 Maiden Lane POPS. I was actually audible this time. It was only the usual Philip Glass pieces, and awkwardly, as I never took off my jacket or sat at proper...

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Successful Sleep

It doesn’t happen often, and when it does it is typically followed by consequences. But last night into today saw the finest episode of workweek sleep I can remember. I was what I call “long tired” after a...

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Smalls, and Palmer Stiles Revived

I brokkkke and destroyed my screen magnifier. It made typing into this small screen much more palatable, if a little bit gawky in appearance to others. I shall procure another. Until then, I”m back to barely being able to...

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Moving Around

I guess I’ll be moving around this company after all. Things move slowly but I’m in no hurry. Wouldn’t be here if I was in a hurry. I don’t know what to do about the woman, the possible love interest. I...

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Smell of Satan

I woke through the night to a smell of Satan. must have been the hamburger meat I unintentionally dumped into the big garbage can, which empties once a week, more or less. Probably maggots in there. Yum. I contained it, I think...

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Blackberries

It’s new to my breakfast. Typically I get a few spoonfuls of yogurt, maybe a slice of cheese, and that’s it for at-home breaking of the fast. I’d been spending 6 or 7 bucks a day on scrambled eggs, sausage...

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Sentences

Nothing. Nowhere. Jump from high places. Now. Never. Always. Dry your eyes, they were never wet. Dry your eyes. Be threadbare. Eat diamonds. Hug a trolley car. Dance with the grenade thrown at you. Rewrite your death certificate...

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Mockery of Many

Sunday, February 12, 2023 – 7:37:01 AM I fell asleep at work, intentionally, thinking it would be acceptable or that I could at least get away with it. At a desk on what I thought was an otherwise unoccupied floor (16?) I...

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Showerthought

Working hard will land you in the horking ward. That was my spooneristic moment of genius today. Work too hard you get sick and barf. An utterly lifeless attempt at wit but something to get the energies moving. Or not. I feel...

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Words I Just Thought Up

UNDERTRUE – Wrong but not completely without merit OVERTRUE – Truthful in some ways but exaggerated in others. YOUTHY – Someone who thinks they are younger than their real age. None of these can be unique, or...

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Commute

I don’t hate hearing of it, but it is predictable to hear grousing of one’s morning commute gone wrong. To me it rarely amounts to a problem, since I get to work so early. But it does send me on an unpredictable and...

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Not for Nostalgia…

…but I ended up on the Upper West Side today, in search of nothing specific, although I guess it was pretty specific, but not worth describing. Out of habit I revisited my old stomping grounds, including the enshrined,...

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Mysteries

I read a long blog post from someone talking about growing up in a smallish town in Florida. I grew up in Florida, so on that small basis I identified. There is a mystery in every river, and intrigue about the neighborhood or...

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10 minutes

I knew a woman for a number of years. We were uncomfortable together most of the time. Conversation stalled and stilted. Little commonality, as hard as she tried to force it into being. Our common ground was drinking and sex....

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Vortex

I made fun of myself during the day for yesterday’s morning expression of concern for the trek homeward with the predicted vortex blast and my distinct lack of head or face covering. It is less than a half mile (I think) from...

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Guilelessness

A woman at the Yamaha grand yesterday made me smile, not for her talent but for her guilelessness. The out of tune piano did not help matters, either, but she really sounded like a clown, hacking at the piano with all her heart...

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Receipts

I started saving my receipts again, after a hiatus of I don’t know how many years. I’m...

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Shady Looking School Bus

Spotted this while tooling around on Streetview, comparing it to CycloMedia. I don’t have kids but if I did I wouldn’t want them riding this strange looking beast.  

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Looking into the past

On rain days like today, when it’s just barely raining, I remove my glasses and stuff them into a pocket, or someplace where they won’t collect the litter-like detritus of the gleeky rain. I am always surprised at...

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H Drive Fail, Almost

Checking file system on H: Volume label is TOSHIBA EXT. Stage 1: Examining basic file system structure … The segment number 0x17b74 in file 0x17b68 is incorrect. Fixing incorrect information in file record segment 17B68....

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Glass at 180

I went over to the public space at 180 Maiden Lane. As I sat at the piano trying to remember if I actually know how to play anything (my repertoire seems always to evaporate, must always be replenished) I summoned the Wichita...

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Volume. Quantity.

I discovered my trough of hundreds upon hundreds of documents at GDocs. Strange to be so voluminous with so little to really show. I don’t remember much of it, some is a foggy memory. I am reminded, once again, of a couple of...

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Ponti

I only learned recently that Michael Ponti died in October, at 84. He was a high school hero of mine, raising unknown composers like Alkan, Henselt, Liaponov and countless others up from the ashes of history’s neglect,...

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Trying something new

For years too many I relied on posting to this website from the .MOBI principle. Everything was posted from someplace other than the home PC. Well, almost everything. My old .MOBI was my favorite website I ever put together. It...

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Heature of Crabit

I’m a creature of habit. A heature of crabit. So when things seemed off this AM I started to question my habitude, my habitudinousness. I couldn’t understand where the light went. I shower with the lights out in the bathroom,...

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Dex is Next?

I finally got Dex to work last night. Dex is supposed to be a killer app that turns your phone into a desktop by simply plugging it into a PC or a giant TV. I got the PC function to work but had to order a USB C to  HDMI...

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