I am dressed like a fucking slob today. Coffee-stained shirt, pants from 30 pounds ago, unshaved, unkempt. At least I smell passably OK but I look like I should be sleeping on a bus after being released from prison. I chose a...

Just start writing. Spray nonsense to start. Yellow bulbs of gum floating on brown oceans where mannequins swim in sewage. Charts are unable to represent the fierceness and the longevity of those mannequins dancing for their...

Had some dental work done yesterday. I don’t believe most dentists. I don’t believe a word they say. But these folks are good. Genuine, trustworthy, not recommending $15,000 of work while admitting it is probably not...

Am I even allowed here? Am I fired? Do I get the call, which would end with laughter? The call that I won’t be failing up after all? My relationship with this gig has been loose. Every shift I sign out of could be my last....

I’m back on PRAY detail. Inspired by a social media interaction I finally followed up on a lead someone sent me pre-Covid, a lead on where to find a smattering of surviving etchings from the legendary scratchiti artist of...

Last night’s commute snafu could have been funny if it wasn’t so fucking irritating. At Queensboro Plaza the announcer says this train will go express. That’s not uncommon but what was unusual was that this...

Once in a while I find myself scaling a philosophical tract, be it a source material or ruminations upon such a source. A word I always trip over is “epistomology.” It is defined as the study of knowledge, or the...

What do I have to say? Yesterday was a long stramble. I started making a video from it but it felt unnatural. I was up in Q46 country, mostly via Union Turnpike landing in Glen Oaks or Little Neck or Bellerose or whatever the...

Who woulda seen that coming. Sitting right next to me on the subway today is a woman I’ve talked to some here at work. But there is never time for that. So this was different. She talked and talked a storm. As always. I...

Yesterday started with a simple-seeming goal: Find an area of Kew Gardens called (I think) Kew Hills. No joy. I could not navigate 78th Avenue from Queens Boulevard to whatever cross street I had in mind for this magical...

Sitting in a far corner of the office space. Well lit but soiled by crumbs left by whoever sat here before. That’s kinda icky. I like this seat but someone else usually gets it. The open windows offer a somewhat dismal...

It’s a classic cuisine. Classic breakfast splatter. 16oz, organic Driscoll’s strawberries. Price varies day to day but this batch cost $1.50 at a fruit stand on my street. The exact same product would be 3 or 4 times...

I took 3 days off for what I believe is the first time ever since starting this job in January, 2022. Felt like another life. As it should, I suppose. This is not a job one takes home with them, although I have done exactly...

It looks like I found a dom. I thought she was playing games, and maybe she was at first. But this is shaping up to be something emotionally productive. I may have a lot to learn about this arrangement, or it may be totally...

I tried to record it. Will listen back later to see if I captured the musical rhythms created by rain drops making their popping noises as they hit the window sill and the fire escape. It sounded like a rhythm in the real but...

Rain today, rain tomorrow. Most it means to me is I wear boots instead of sandles, and I actually use the umbrella I so stubbornly carry everywhere, shain or rine. Today I splurge on a nice sandwich. I also tried my once-trusted...

I have random flashbacks to S., the bartender I knew a little too well. To say I was infatuated was an understatement. I had that body memorized from the way she drawled on pronouncing my name to the freckle on the back of her...

People have started asking me what I’m writing here. I have this somewhat garish contraption that magnifies my phone’s screen. I call it the poor man’s laptop, even though this phone cost as much as my desktop....

So much time to waste. It’s like the purpose of time is for nothing, no mean, no excess. Just nothing but waste and garbage. Yesterday I managed to repost a 1940 book I had scanned years ago. Living Musicians. I had posted...

Is every day a beginning, or an end? The end of yesterday is today’s beginning. Or is the now the only true beginning? In my beginning is my end. I didn’t say that. Someone else said that. Am I here or am I there? By my...

I spend a decent amount of time looking at maps. I’m no cartographer, but if I had the time I’d at least be a map otaku of some sort. But it was not an actual map that brought the mystery of 54th Avenue to my...

I thought I’d do here what I usually do at the regular office, and go out for a half-hour constitutional. But this location is contained within a police checkpoint, and my issues with authority kicked in to where I did not...

In the heart of Brooklyn Commons today. Apparently Metrotech will now be known as Brooklyn Commons? Temporary relocation of the office for the weekend, of which I work only Saturday. The R train from Astoria to here was...

The Japanese woman turned out to be a huge bore. Self-obsessed. Not good with words, despite claiming to be as such. Blocked on all channels except for this one, since she had no interest in knowing it existed. I’ve been...

I ended up in somewhat familiar territory. I don’t know anyone in East Harlem but I’ve rambled through enough to recognize some shops and, of course, spot some payphones. I only spotted one, at the Thomas Jefferson...

From: who@what.where.invalid (d(-_-)b Who??) Subject: ffd.16.09.23.emma.hix.hardcore – “ffd.16.09.23.emma.hix.hardcore.rar” – yEnc (169/201) Date: 16.02.2018 05:36 Newsgroups: alt.barefoot =ybegin...

Today had all the makings of a colossal fuckup. Fortunately it ended up just fine. I thought we were supposed to show up for work at an alternative location today, in Brooklyn. Turns out that doesn’t happen until next...

It is Friday. I forgot this means I should buy a new MetroCard, 7-day unlimited. I’m confused because tomorrow, Saturday, will be like a field trip. I’ll work in Brooklyn and not the usual Lower Manhattan location. I...

I’ve been waiting for that instant, moment, second, split second. You never know how or when it might happen. You unwittingly anger a subway urchin (by calling him an “urchin”) pushing the long-time panhandler...

Feeling small. Like nothing at all. Decisions made but no consequence that registers on any scope. I sprayed more mold-killer today. The showers now feel antiseptic clean. White. Maybe this disguises the blackness of things....

I had to do something few would likely ever consider. I had to remove the surveillance camera from my bathtub. I was not forced into it. But there will be maintenance people coming through my place this week and next to fix the...

I woke with scratches on my face, something that used to be more common but has not happened lately. I did not even discover this until exiting the shower and finding blood all over my left hand. A few shots of Bactine (expired...

I had to leave work yesterday. I don’t know what was happening. I don’t get the kind of burning anxiety, where it truly feels like I am on fire. I don’t get that as long as I take the proper pills. But I still...